Exit Newt

Newt Gingrich announced that he will announce suspending his campaign on Wednesday. 

Newt has finally said

That his campaign is dead.

He’ll drop out of the race

With his customary grace.

His run he’ll disavow

A couple days from now.

Why the big delay?

He doesn’t want to say.  

Guns or Butter?

Congressional Republicans are desperately seeking a way out of the budget agreement they made last summer, in which military expenditures will automatically be cut by $600 billion over 10 years.  According to the Budget Control Act, these cuts will be triggered automatically because the Super Committee (remember them?) were unable to agree on a plan to cut federal expenditures by $1.2 trillion.  The new Republican budget plan salvages the military budget by cutting funds for federal workers, health care, and the Food Stamp program.  The latter has grown rapidly during the last few years because of increased unemployment.

Our military mustn’t cut

Its customary funding glut.

Its savior is the GOP

Guns or butter?  Which will it be?

The GOP has made its choice

They speak in this case with one voice

We know that they will all agree -

Guns or butter?  Which will it be?

Why guns of course, that is the way

Our right-wing Congress works today.

The poor don’t vote for them, you see.

Guns or butter?  Which will it be?

Obama must stand up to them

Their martial views he should condemn

And heed our poor’s impassioned plea

Guns or butter?  Which will it be?

Romney Saves Auto Industry!!

Eric Fehrnstrom, senior advisor to the Mitt Romney and author of the unforgettable Etch-A-Sketch analogy, has recently declared that Romney’s  ”…position on the bailout [of Chrysler and General Motors] was exactly what President Obama followed”.  Well, not exactly “exactly” since Romney would have provided no government financial assistance for the managed bankruptcy that he recommended, and there was no one else around at the time that would have done so.  Romney has also castigated the President’s auto bailout plan on numerous occasions in the primaries, which would be fairly strange if it had actually been Mitt’s idea all along.  Or maybe not, since Romney also castigated Obamacare, which one could argue was also effectively Romney’s “idea”.  Doublespeak anyone?

Mitt’s advisor has lately maintained

The bailout is what Mitt ordained

But everyone knew

It just wasn’t true

They've a new height of chutzpah attained.

"Let's Just Say It..."

Thomas Mann and Norman Ornstein, in their article in the Washington Post , have broken with the distorting “both-sides-do it” tradition of news analysis and have assigned most of the blame for our dysfunctional politics on the extreme views held within the Republican Party.

  

Newspapers don’t like to offer blame

Views that are one-sided can inflame

Members of the group that gets the hit

Stemming from a fault they won’t admit.

Now the Post relents and takes a stand:

Power politics got out of hand

Mostly due to lies on our TV

Posted mainly by the GOP.

Trump Thumps Wind Pumps

Donald Trump, who is investing £750 million in a golf resort, testified before the Scottish Parliament that he was “lured” into investing in the golf course by two First Ministers in the Scottish government who assured him that an offshore wind farm would not be constructed.  Now that 11 wind turbines have been placed offshore from his golf course, Mr. Trump is crying betrayal.  “So after I’ve invested this tremendous amount of money, all of a sudden this really obnoxious and ugly wind farm appears,” he said in his testimony.  He also predicted that plans to construct additional wind forms would destroy Scotland’s tourism industry, and when asked for the evidence behind this statement, he replied in his usual self-deprecating manner,  “I am the evidence…I am considered a world-class expert in tourism.”

The Donald’s in Scotland now

Testifying on how

he was misled -

His golf course may be dead.

It seems perfidious Scots

Have voted to put lots

Of wind mills in the ocean

Not far from Trump’s promotion.

He said that he was lured

By some who  had assured

Him that it wouldn’t be:

No wind farm on the sea.

Now that it’s come to pass

He’s feeling like an ass

“I’m the evidence” he say,

That tourists will stay away.

“In tourism, I’m world class,

And you’ve got balls of brass

To cross me like some hick.

You think you’re pretty slick.”

Of course the Scots deny

That Trump is their fall guy

His claims are false they say,

He’s just a popinjay. 

Comrade Obama and the Space Program

Fox News commentator Sandy Rios made some very thinly veiled suggestions that the downgrade of the US  space program may be part of a White House plot to help the Soviets regain power.  She noted connections between the Obama White House and real or imagined communists, including environmentalist Van Jones, the former WH communications  director Anita Dunn, and Obama’s  "mentor" Frank Marshall Davis, who edited a communist newspaper.  These connections are similar to those previously emphasized by the conspiratorial Glenn Beck on his Fox News show. 

“Comrade President, I just wanted to check up on the progress of the plans to restore our Russian friends to power.”

“It’s going quite well, Comrade Pelosi, although we’ve had a few setbacks lately.  Comrades Van Jones and Anita Dunn have both resigned their positions, and so we’re a little short on experienced operatives,” Obama said as tugged on a Sobranie Black Russian cigarette.  “I’ve got to give up smoking these. Michelle will get really pissed if she catches me.  Good old Frank - Frank Marshall Davis - got me hooked on these when I was a kid.  Also, I really like the black paper and the gold foil filter – it makes me look so … revolutionary, don’t you think.”

“I have no time for these bourgeois notions of yours, Comrade.  Remember, we put you into this office for the sole purpose of restoring Soviet Russia to its former greatness.  Now tell me, have you succeeded in dismantling the US space program?”

“I apologize for my remarks, Comrade.  But in my efforts to seem like an American, I’m afraid some of their anti-social habits of thinking have rubbed off on me.”

“Yes, Comrade Barack Barackovich, I can see that.  It’s actually a good ploy to have the Americans fear you might be a Muslim – this will keep them from discovering the truth.  That reactionary Glenn Beck was getting too close for comfort, but we were able to get him fired from Fox News.  But now, Sandy Rios is raising alarms that are somewhat worrying.  She’s putting out all the old Glenn Beck stuff, but more importantly, she’s keying in on your destruction of the American space program. And then there was that unfortunate open mic episode with Comrade Medvedev.  That was very careless of you, Comrade.”  Pelosi leaned over Obama’s desk and jabbed a finger at him.  “Rios has got to be stopped!”

“Well, Comrade Peloski…uh, Pelosi,  I’ll talk to Comrade Axelrod to see what can be done.  I’m afraid it may require more than simply stating that she’s a paranoid right wing nutter.”  Obama replied, blowing smoke from his nostrils and stamping out the Sobranie butt in the special ashtray hidden in a desk drawer. 

“As for the space program,” he continued, “you’ve undoubtedly seen the news reports.  So far, the reaction to using Russian rockets to get our guys up into space has been pretty mild, except for the a few outliers like Rios.  Now we are prepared to initiate the final phase of this project – our astronauts will unknowingly bring back the Russian analog of the Stuxnet computer worm in their files.  Before long, it will infect the NASA computers and render them all useless, as we’ve discussed…God, I need another cigarette – Oh shit, no more Sobranies.”

“Your work on the space program has been excellent, Comrade President….Here,” she said, reaching into her voluminous purse, “I’ve brought another case of Sobranies for you.  There’s more where that came from, as long as you continue on the path we’ve laid out for you.”

“Thanks, Comrade, thanks so much,” said the President, tearing open the carton and lighting up another cigarette.  "Товарищ",  he said, a faint smile playing out over his lips as he inhaled.

Paul Ryan Dumps Rand

In interviews in 2003 and 2005, Paul Ryan  indicated a deep intellectual debt to Ayn Rand, author of Atlas Shrugged and The Fountainhead, the Bibles of libertarianism.  Now, however, he rejects her philosophy because of its atheism, and embraces that of Thomas Aquinas instead.

Paul Ryan owes a lot to Ayn Rand

He thought that her thinking was grand

But now he rejects her

Godless conjecture

With Aquinas he now takes his stand.

Joe Scarborough Defends Mitt

On the Thursday Morning Joe, Joe Scarborough was defending Romney against the charge, put forth by the Obama campaign, that Mitt Romney was a radical right-winger.  Saying that Romney was actually a moderate he added,  “What Romney says on the campaign trail is one thing.  What he will do as President, if he is elected, is something completely different”.  The cynicism of this remark is really breathtaking.  He’s saying essentially that Romney, in campaign mode, is acting like a shill to attract voters into his right-wing tent, but that they’ll find nothing inside but smoke and mirrors;  the real Romney, whoever that is, will emerge once he gets elected.  Romney’s pattern of prevarication over the years has already led many of us to discount what he says during the campaign, but only the most hardened campaign operatives, steeped in domestic Realpolitik, would regard this as a strength.  With defenders like Joe Scarborough, Mitt has no need for detractors. 

We don’t care what Romney said

It’s what he’ll do as Pres instead

That’s wrapped in mystery.

His campaign history

Seems to be irrelevant,

Since his fibs are highly prevalent

And that’s apparently OK

With cynics who would say

That campaigns don’t matter much

They’re just for voters and as such

The promises they take seriously

Disappear mysteriously,

Departing one by one

When th’election’s done.  

Etch-A-Sketch II

Mitt Romney declared that he supports efforts to extend the period of low interest rates on student loans for another year.  Joe Courtney (D-CT), who has sponsored such a bill in the House, said he hopes that Romney’s statement will "shake the Republican congressional leadership loose."  Republicans generally oppose the bill, so this puts some distance between Mitt Romney and the rest of his party on this issue.  The question, of course, is whether Romney sincerely supports the goals of this bill or whether his statement is merely a cynical ploy to display some centrist leanings and subvert the Obama campaign’s efforts to picture him as a radical right-winger.

Jim Morin, GoComics.com

Mitt Romney says he now condones

Republican support for Courtney’s bill

To keep low int’rest rates on loans

For students.  It’s a gesture of goodwill

Designed to show that Mitt’s OK,

He’s not a total right wing nut

Like others in his party’s pay.

I wonder if this new Mitt’s but

A phantom on an Etch-A-Sketch

Or whether he might be sincere

In helping his pinched party stretch

Their tendency to be austere.

I guess we’ll have to wait and see

But up till now, the nominee

Hasn’t shown a tendency

T’ward social  generosity.

Cameron's Folly

The economy of Great Britain has now officially in a double-dip recession,  the expected outcome of the austerity measures pursued by Prime Minister David Cameron. 

David Cameron is all for austerity

He’s pursued it with steadfast asperity

But his plan went awry

‘Though he can’t explain why  

It’s increased the recession’s severity

Republican Proposes Tax Increase!

Nearly all Republicans have made a pledge to the Almighty Grover Norquist that they will not vote for any measure that entails a tax increase.  But now Eric Cantor says we might need to “broaden the base” by imposing new taxes on the 45% of the people in this country, mostly poor people or seniors with little or no income, who currently pay no income taxes.  So there is a way to get around the Norquist pledge – raise taxes on the poor!  This would undoubtedly be coupled with a measure to reduce taxes on those with high incomes.

Republicans have made a sacred vow

To vote against a law that will increase

The taxes people pay – they won’t allow

it ever.  Oh, but here’s a press release

that says they might consider something now

where obligations of their vow might cease.

For taxes on the rich they said “No more!”

But they can increase taxes on the poor.

Carry Couture

Several companies are now producing clothing lines specially designed for carrying concealed guns, the New York Times reported today. 

O Jeffrey – this is what you’re wearing?!  Are you going out bowling or coming with me to Bruce’s garden party?  Honestly, you look like a little Nazi in that outfit.  No, it’s not because you’re carrying a gun, it’s because everyone can see you’re carrying a gun.  I ask you, what’s the point of carrying a concealed weapon if it’s not concealed?!  Look at that bulge in your jacket – it is soooo 2011.  You might as well have a holster strapped to your hip, like a security guard – is THAT what you want to look like, a security guard??  You’re really a sartorial disaster, you know that?!  Yes, I know I’ve told you many times before, but do you listen? No – are you listening to me now?  No!  HELLLO, JEFFREY!? I bought you some very nice things last week, and you haven’t worn them once.  Go get out of that ridiculous jump suit and put on those Woolrich Concealed Carry chinos I got you along with the twill jacket with the large reinforced pockets– they’re hanging in your closet gathering dust and just once, just ONCE, I’d like to see you wearing them. 

There, that’s better.  And are you carrying?  The 9 mm?  That’s great, you can hardly tell… That’s really a very nice jacket…Did you know that it also has accessory tunnel plastic restraints that could provide routing for electric wires?  Well, I’m sure I don’t KNOW why, Jeffrey, but there must be some reason for it or they wouldn’t make it part of the jacket – these things are very carefully thought out by homosexual designers, you know; they don’t load these jackets up with unnecessary stuff.  Do you ever read the Soldier of Fortune magazine I signed you up for at Christmas? No, I thought not.  You can probably find out about the wires in there somewhere. 

OK, are you ready to go now?  You really look very nice, Jeffrey – I do wish you enjoyed being stylish.  I feel so well protected when you’re dressed like that.  Well, I don’t suppose we'll be shooting anyone at Bruce’s party, but you never know.  Perhaps we’ll be lucky and get mugged on the way over there.  You know, the Stand Your Ground law has made life so much more interesting than it used to be.  

Three Cheers for Torture!

Liz Cheney repeated again the oft-repeated assertion (among Republicans) that “enhanced interrogation techniques” (i.e. torture) yielded information that was crucial to finding and killing Osama bin Laden.  The insufferable John Bolton buttressed this claim by stating that “The only thing Barack Obama did in connection with killing Osama bin Laden is get out of the way”.  These claims are made despite denials from military interrogators that abusive techniques were at all successful.  In fact, the interrogators felt that torture was counterproductive, that it was  “…very difficult to elicit information from a detainee who has been abused. The abuse often only strengthens their resolve and makes it that much harder for an interrogator to find a way to elicit useful information.”

Now Liz and John make quite a pair -

Ideologues so doctrinaire

That truth is what they want to see

Instead of plain reality.

And so they spread their tales of how

The use of torture did allow

Inquisitors at last to find

The walls bin Laden hid behind.

But what remains a mystery

Is why this made-up history

Is ever taken seriously.

Oh, it’s Fox?  Well, now I see.

Since Fox began to broadcast here

The truth’s begun to disappear

To be replaced by right-wing hype -

The GOP’s familiar tripe. 

But still one has to wonder why

Anyone’d believe a lie

So obviously false it seems

Like fantasy from deranged dreams.


Update 4/30:  A Senate Committee finds that "enhanced interrogation techniques" did not play "any significant role" in intelligence leading to Osama bin Laden's killing.

Ready for Bushonomics 2.0?

A spokesperson for the Republican National Committee declared that their economic platform for this election year will embody the policies of the GeorgeW. Bush administration, “just updated”.  It was not clear how the Bush policies, which resulted in slow growth and soaring deficits, as well as the greatest economic downturn since the Great Depression in 2008, would be updated to fit new economic realities. 

The RNC wants to instill

A plan for us that’s not so new:

Their economic platform will

Be Bushonomics Two.

The first was not a great success

but still is sound they do contend,

Except that little, bitty mess

That happened at the end.

‘Though under Bush, it wasn’t great -

Growth and jobs were kind of flat -

The plan just needs an update

For a second Bush at-bat.

Inauguration Anyone?

It's a little early to be selling tickets to the Romney inauguration, but Mitt's using it for fund raising purposes.  Can't blame him for trying, but it does seem a little premature at this point.  Anyone want to buy some tickets to the World Series Red Sox games? 

Mitt is out there selling tickets

To his inauguration

It is a little early yet,

But that’s anticipation.

Mitt’s feeling confident these days

That he’ll defeat the President.

He’s said that he should pack his things -

He’ll be the White House Resident.

So how much is it selling for,

This ticket to Mitt’s party?

It goes for $50 K – not bad –

I’m sure the food is hearty.

If that’s too much, then here’s a deal

That’s sure to be a hit:

On sale today for just $10 K,

A photo op with Mitt!

Earth Day 2012

The Earth is heating up today

Because, some say,

We overdo

Our CO₂.

The Earth is heating up today

But it’s OK

The GOP

Says angrily.

The Earth is heating up today

But we delay

And can’t decide:

It’s suicide!

The Earth is heating up today

I hope and pray

That we’ll be wise

Or seas will rise.

Senate Votes to Cut Carbon Dioxide Emissions!

The Senate unanimously passed a bill to reduce carbon emissions 50% by the year 2050. Mexico's Senate, that is.  The U.S. Senate is not likely to adopt such a sensible measure anytime soon. 

You might think this news is fantastico

The Senate’s completely simpatico:

They voted to cut

The CO₂ glut.

Too bad that this Senate’s in Mexico.

Michelle's Way with Words

Michelle Bachmann accused President Obama of “waving a tar baby in the air” in an effort to blame certain firms for manipulating the oil market.  As explained by Alicia Cohn of The Hill, “The term 'tar baby' is a racially loaded phrase coined in the 'Brer Rabbit' tales. The term generally means a 'sticky situation,' but has also been used as a derogatory term for a black person.”  Waving a tar baby in the air makes little sense, but perhaps Rep. Bachmann, like Sarah Palin and Shakespeare before her, is extending language in a new direction.  Ms. Bachmann concluded her interview with this statement:  "The president is a complete and utter fraud and a hypocrite on this issue, with all due respect."

Michelle knows just what to say

But at times she gets carried away.

Just what is that waving out there?

It’s “a tar baby in the air”.

Her choice of words here was poor -

It’s not a good metaphor -

And there are bad connotations to "tar baby"

But perhaps some folks would say maybe

She didn’t know what she conveyed,

What a racist remark she had made.

A New Nugent Problem for Mitt

Ted Nugent – guitarist, gun lover, draft dodger, Obama would-be assassinator, foulmouth, endorser of Mitt Romney – has a problem keeping his hands off under age girls.  One of his “conquests” was Courtney Love, who had oral sex with Nugent when she was 12!  Still happy about that Ted Nugent endorsement, Mitt?

There was a musician named Ted

Who took little girls to his bed.

He wasn’t above

Using young Courtney Love,

At age 12, to give him some head. 

Severely Spineless

Mitt Romney has been severely fainthearted when faced with the outrageous statements made lately by Rush Limbaugh, Allen West and, most recently, by Ted Nugent, all of whom have many supporters in the right-wing asylum.  When Rush Limbaugh called Sandra Fluke a slut and prostitute, Mitt came back with “not the language I would have used”.  When Ted Nugent appeared to be threatening President Obama, and called on him to suck the barrel of his machine gun, a Romney spokesperson said, "Divisive language is offensive no matter what side of the political aisle it comes from….Mitt Romney believes everyone needs to be civil." Wow! How's that for taking a strong stand against violent language.  And to the best of my knowledge, Romney has not distanced himself from Allen West’s claim that members of the Congressional Progressive Caucus are communists.  Mitt might lose a few votes if he took a courageous stand against such contemptible language, and might actually demonstrate the leadership qualities that he can't seem to recognize in President Obama.  His silence speaks volumes about the character of the man. For an earlier poem on this topic, see Mitt the Appeaser.

Mitt is just a wussy guy -

He won’t condemn bad speech

Maybe he’s just being sly

For voters he might reach.

But sometimes when the going’s tough

You have to speak your mind

You must stand up and say “Enough,

I don’t need your kind.”

First Rush, then Allen West and now

Ted Nugent said outrageous

things that Mitt won’t disavow –

Mitt’s clearly not courageous.

But if he wants to lead our nation

He’ll have to show some guts.

He can’t declare capitulation

To loud-mouthed, right wing nuts.

And if he can’t stand up to West,

Or Ted  – who aren’t so very brainy -

How will he make out when pressed

By Ayatollah Khamenei?

Mitt Diamante

                        Mitt

              Pleasant, wealthy

           singing, smiling, joking

  handsome, awkward, slippery, false

      flipping, flopping, fibbing

               brazen, insidious

                        Liar

For the evidence, see this clip from the Rachel Maddow show. 

Conservatives Contrive Enthusiasm for Mitt

House conservatives are trying to work up enthusiasm for Mitt Romney, with only mixed success.  For example, Rep Louis Gohmert (R-TX) said “…whether you're liberal, whether you're very conservative, you ought to be excited because he's been on your side one time or another" and later added “I’m not as excited as I am desperate.”

We’re really excited about Mitt -

It just took us some time to commit

He’s sure to be a big hit

With the voters this fall, we submit.

So why don’t we seem that enthused?

It’s just we’re a little confused

Mitt’s views have often abused

Our trust and we’re not amused.

But Mitt is OK all in all

Although he doesn’t enthrall

Our congressional right-wing cabal

We just hope he can win in the fall.

Iranian Uranium

David Ignatius suggested in yesterday’s Washington Post that Iran is showing signs of wanting to make an agreement with the West to limit their enrichment of uranium in exchange for an easing of the sanctions that have crippled the Iranian economy. 

Iran is always surreal

But it might be seeking a deal

To forgo the bomb

In exchange for some calm

It’s a deal that has real appeal.

Disappointing Miss Muffet

Senate Republicans, led by Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-KY), blocked efforts to bring the so-called “Buffet Rule” to a vote.  The Buffet Rule would require that people making over $1 million dollars would pay at least 30% of that amount in income taxes.

Little Miss Muffet

Thinks kindly of Buffet,

The rule that would make the rich pay.

Along came McConnell

Who said, “That Dem spawn’ll

Not pass if I have my way.”

Mitt's Fun Day with Ted Nugent

At the National Rifle Association convention earlier this week, Mitt Romney welcomed Ted Nugent’s support, saying that  "It's been pretty fun to get to know him, Ted Nugent".   The accompanying video shows just what a fun guy Ted Nugent really is.

Mitt thinks that Ted’s a lot of fun.

But how ‘bout when he holds his gun,

And says it’s what the Prez should suck?

Now Ted’s a really scary schmuck,

And Mitt’d be wise if he’d cut short

Ted Nugent’s threats and his support.

If Obama wins, Ted complained

That he’d be dead, or by jail restrained.

Mitt thinks that Ted is lots of fun,

But Mitt, what about that gun?

A New Film by Herman Cain - in Bizarre-O-Vision

A new ad by Herman Cain features a farmer feeding a bunch of chickens that turn against the hand that feeds them, quite literally in this case, killing the farmer – death by a thousand pecks.  Check it out here.

Cain’s new indie film is on a par

With previous ones  - but even more bizarre.

Herman’s channeling of Hitchcock’s “Birds”

Tries to frighten but’s too strange for words.

It seems the government’s a lot like chickens,

Deadly birds that scare from you the dickens.

Feed them if you dare

But you should be aware

They might turn on you and peck

Your eyes, your face, your neck

And tear the flesh off of your bones,

Your lifeless body left on stones.

Any questions?

                               Little girl, why yes -

What are you trying to express?

And what’s with Herman on that cliff?

That ending seems a little stiff.

Herman hasn’t lost the stigma

Of being a complete enigma.

I Wanna Hold Your Hand

The Tennessee State Senate has just passed a bill that defines hand-holding and kissing as “a gateway to sexual activity”. Hand-holding is such a dangerous activity that teachers are forbidden to demonstrate it. 

I wanna hold your hand

I wanna hold your ha-a-a-a-n-n-n-d –

      The Beatles, 1963.

Sorry but that’s not now allowed

The senate has just avowed

That holding hands is a gateway

That leads one to sex straightway.

You can’t be too careful, you see,

At least not in Tennessee.

A Woman Scorned

Scandal dogged the President’s South American trip, as 12 secret service agents assigned to protecting the President were sent home on charges relating to soliciting sex from local prostitutes.  Apparently one of the agents did not pay for services rendered, leading to a complaint from the woman involved. 

A secret service bro’

Solicited sex from a pro

Her pay he retained

So she loudly complained

His service ain’t secret no mo’.

GOP Integrity in Short Supply

Neither Mitt Romney, nor anyone else in the GOP, has yet apologized, or distanced themselves, from Allen West’s outrageous claim that members of the Progressive Caucus are Communists.  In contrast, Democrats have been falling all over themselves to apologize for CNN contributor Hilary Rosen’s statement that Ann Romney “has actually never worked a day in her life”.  Ms. Rosen’s statement, while politically inept, at least had the virtue of being true.  West’s claim, on the other hand, is an unscrupulous fabrication.  See earlier posts on West and Rosen.

Hilary Rosen dissed Ann Romney

But did not say she was a commie

Like Allen West fallaciously

Said liberal Democrats could be.

‘Though Rosen has apologized

And Democrats have recognized

That what she said was out of line,

Republicans so far decline

To offer an apology

Or say the terminology

That West had used was wrong.

Apparently they go along

With anything that Allen says

As long as it defames the Pres

And Democrats.  The GOP

Completely lacks integrity –

They’re too unprincipled to disown

Mendacious statements by their own.

Loose Lips

Hilary Rosen, a Democratic strategist, suggested that it was inappropriate for Ann Romney to advise her husband on women’s issues because she "has actually never worked a day in her life". This comment, for which Ms. Rosen has apologized, has been a gift to the GOP, who have criticized both Ms. Rosen’s comment as well as the reaction of the Obama campaign, which has "been so willing and so quick to throw one of their own under the bus."

Ms Rosen’s embarrassing gaffe

Outraged Mr. Romney’s staff

She said with aplomb,

“Ann’s a stay-at-home Mom

Her comments on work are a laugh.”

Ann Romney is fit to be tied

Try raising 5 boys, she replied,

You’ll see that it’s work

It will drive you berserk

It’s not something that you should deride.               

Here’s an issue the Dems cannot win

No matter what spin they begin

An old adage maintains

“Loose lips sink campaigns”,

The Democrats note with chagrin.

Arizona Does It Again!

Arizona Governor Jan Brewer signed a new law stipulating that abortions induced by medication, i.e. non-surgical abortions, can only be provided by medical personnel who have hospital privileges within 30 miles of where the procedure takes place.  For many women, this would eliminate medication abortions occurring in local clinics or at home.  In addition, the law stipulates that gestation begins on the first day of a woman’s last period, a definition that moves up by 2 weeks a state ban on abortions given after 18 weeks gestation.  So once again the war on abortion becomes the war against poor women. 

Arizona’s new law makes it hard

For women to take medication

that her doctor insisted she take

for a pregnancy termination.

You’ve got to be close to a hospital

‘Though exactly why this should be

Is a myst’ry that serves as a cover

For abortions to end by decree.

Another of this law’s new features:

It defines when gestation began –

It’s now the first day of one’s period

Move it up by two weeks is the plan.

It means that all women are pregnant

Until their next period appears

And the same thing would happen next month -

A girl could be pregnant for years.

Missile Fizzles

North Korea, despite Western pressure to cancel the event,  launched a rocket intended to put a satellite into orbit, but the rocket broke into pieces several minutes after lift-off. 

North Korea’s guided missile -

Launching it made nations bristle

But now it merits our dismissal

Its launch turned out to be a fizzle.

Allen West and The Communist Menace

Representative Allen West, R-FL, said at a town meeting on Tuesday, ” I believe there's about 78 to 81 members of the Democrat Party who are members of the Communist Party.”  He was referring to members of the Congressional Progressive Caucus.  Does anyone other than Allen West think that channeling Joe McCarthy is an appropriate response to today’s problems?

Allen West sees lots of commies

In the Congress of today

It’s another firebomb he’s

Throwing out like a bouquet.

Allen West is just deluded -

Words of his are so excessive -

Saying Communists included

Congressmen who are progressive.

He must think it’s 1950

Marxists then were our bête noir

Let’s give Allen West short shrifty -

Flush his charges down the pissoir.

Mitt's Snake Oil

Mitt Romney, and other Republicans, are trying to establish a narrative suggesting that Obama’s policies have been bad for women.  They claim that more than 92% of the job losses during Obama’s tenure have been women’s jobs.  Many fact checking sites have reported that this figure simply reflects the fact that women’s job losses were delayed compared to men’s, with the bulk of men’s job losses occurring before Obama took office (chart below).  See here, and here, for example.  You’d think that a smart guy like Romney wouldn’t stoop to using such a statistically sleazy approach to boost his campaign, but maybe I’m overestimating him. 

Mitt Romney is selling snake oil these days

He’s using some numbers in misleading ways

To say that women have lost more than guys

In jobs due to actions Obama devised.

He’s using statistical legerdemain

To muster support for his flagging campaign.

You’d think that a businessman’d have more respect

For numbers than t'use them in ways so suspect.

Now other Republicans start to chime in

Employing Mitt’s same old discredited spin.

They must think that women really are dumb

To this false, meretricious spiel to succumb.

It’s as funny as many old British farces

To see them talk blithely out of their arses.

From New York Times, April 12, 2012

Newt Gingrich Acrostic

Newt’s a dead man walking

Ever out there hawking

Weird ideas, but now he’s talking

To Rick’s voters he’s been stalking:

Gone forever is your Rick

It was Mitt he couldn’t lick.

Now I’m the only one to pick

Give me your support real quick -

Remember that Mitt is just a dick.

Inevitable? That’s just a trick.

Choose a real right-winger, not some slick

Hustler – I’m the guy with whom to stick.


For more poems about Newt Gingrich, type "Newt" in the Search This Blog box in the upper right corner.

Game On!

The general election campaign

Is well under way once again.

The contest will pit

Obama ‘gainst Mitt.

Super Pacs will be given free rein.

Mitt says I’m a strong business type,

I know the economy’s ripe

For a growth spurt to flair

If we just laissez faire

It’s the usual GOP tripe.

Obama says Mitt’s been allyin’

With a radical view that’s decryin’

The government’s lead

To help folks in need -

Mitt’s joined at the hip to Paul Ryan.

Rick Is Out!

Now Rick has just quit the race

There was no way that he could save face:

Mitt’s got all that cash

And Rick he would thrash

In PA, which would be a disgrace.

Obama Supports "Buffet Rule"

President Obama, in a speech scheduled for today, will propose that people with an income of over one million dollars should pay at least 30% of their income in federal taxes.  The proposal is based on an idea put forth by billionaire Warren Buffet, who noted that his income tax rate was lower than that paid by his secretary.  The proposal has been called “The Buffet Rule”. 

Obama tells the rich today

You’re going to have to pay

at least a rate of thirty percent

a rate that will prevent

your paying less than’s customary

for your secretary.

The Rich Get All the Money

A recent study by Emmanuel Saez of U.C. Berkeley found that those in the top 1% of the income distribution received a disproportionate share of the new wealth generated during the economic recovery in 2010:  they received 93% of the income gains during this period.  In earlier recoveries, the proportion going to the top 1% was much lower.  The outsized transfer of wealth to an ever  smaller proportion of the population has grave implications for the future economic and political development of our nation, as discussed by Harold Myerson in the Washington Post.

The rich are getting richer.

Don’t bother asking which’re

The folks that get the dough

I’m sure you already know.

It hasn’t always been this way -

Back in an earlier day

Our wealth was better shared

By everyone compared

To now.  It seems to me

Recovery would be

Much faster if the cash, it

Didn’t go to those who stash it

But instead if they had sent it

To folks who would have spent  it.

Michelle Bachmann: Obama's a Health Care Dictator

Michelle Bachmann (remember her?) stated in a recent interview that Obama is a “health care dictator” who can “…order all Americans to purchase a product or service against their will whether they want it or not. And he can decide which product or service will be offered and at what price. That's unbelievable!"  You're right, Michelle, that really is unbelievable.  In the context of her remarks, she seems to imply that Obama can force us to buy contraceptives!  There’s more in the interview, which you can see here.  I really miss Michelle Backmann:  she was such a great source of material because her outrage is unconstrained by any regard for the truth. 

Michelle is speaking out.

What’s it all about?

Obama is a dictator -

There is no danger greater -

He’s forcing us to buy

Stuff that you and I

Don’t either want or need,

Against our moral creed.

And that’s not all she said -

His foreign policy has led

To terrorism’s rise

And Iran to nuclearize.

And then a final plea:

Please send some cash to me

For my campaign’s receipt

And Pelosi to defeat. 

Pants on Fire

Mitt Romney is a liar.  There’s very little doubt about that – just check out Dana Milbank’s recent column in the Washington Post, or Rachael Maddow’s in-depth study of Romney’s needless and mindless falsehoods.  

Mitt has issues with the truth

But doesn’t want to seem uncouth

And so his lies are always dressed

Up in their sparkling Sunday best.

He lies with such a natural ease

You wouldn’t recognize the sleaze

Or  think his tendency to improvise

Engenders countless, shameless lies. 

Ron Paul Acrostic

Ron Paul is keeping abreast
Of the GOP’s current unrest -

New directions he has often professed.

Perhaps he will finally see

At last that most folks will agree

Uncle Ron is all out to sea -

Loopey views aren’t for their nominee. 

God, Allen West and VP Nomination

Allen West, the overbearing Republican Representative from Florida, allowed as how he would accept the Vice-Presidential nomination if “that it is something that God would ordain…”.

Allen West has got the best

Answer to the VP quest:

If God says it’s OK

Then I’ll go all the way,

and do my best to please,

As long as Mitt agrees.

GOP is Shocked...Shocked!

Republicans have expressed outrage at Obama’s statement on the Supreme Court on Monday, in which he noted previous conservative criticisms that  “…an unelected group of people would somehow overturn a duly constituted and passed law,” and expressed confidence that the court would not “take that step”.  Senate Minority leader Mitch McConnell, for example, said that the President’s remarks demonstrate “…a fundamental lack of respect for our system of checks and balances." This despite a long history of Republican complaints about “activist judges”, including some thinly veiled incitements to violence, as detailed in this post by Jon Perr.

I’m shocked, said the GOP,

But we really can't disagree

That the court he maligns

(He steals our best lines)

Is incented politically. 

Mitt Blames Teachers Unions for Educational Decline

Mitt Romney, interviewed on Fox, said that the nation’s schools have declined because  “we’ve basically given our school system to the teachers unions.”  He later said that California “… used to have some of the best schools in the country, and now it’s ranked near the very bottom.”  Most observers agree, however, that California’s educational decline is a direct result of the cap on property taxes implemented by Proposition 13 in 1978.

Mitt says that unions are to blame

For California’s growing shame:

Its schools once used to be the best

But now they’re terribly depressed.

What Mitt omits from his routine

Are tax cuts due to Prop 13

Which robbed the schools of funds they needed

And that’s when their decline proceeded.

So unions aren’t the ones to chide

It’s Prop 13 we can’t abide. 

Rick Claims American History Not Offered in CA Universities

Campaigning in Wisconsin on Monday, Rick Santorum lamented the sad state of education in California, saying that “…seven or eight of the California system of universities don’t even teach an American history course. It’s not even available to be taught.”  A quick check, however, revealed that American History courses were taught in all California state universities, except for medical schools.  Santorum apparently got his misinformation from a Wall Street Journal Op-Ed, which has itself been debunked. 

Rick thinks that it’s a shame

There are some places he could name

In which our history is not taught

‘Though college students really ought

To get connected to our roots.

But a search of catalogues disputes

These claims, since in these sources

There are plenty of such courses.

Before he makes more silly cracks

Rick really needs to check his facts.