The poet William Stafford set himself the task of writing a poem a day. When someone asked him what he would do when his poem-of-the-day wasn't very good, he replied "I simply lower my standards." In order to increase output, the bar here is set at a low level - the point of this is to have some fun with current events and politics. I welcome contributions and comments. Now you can also follow Doggerelo on Twitter (@doggerelo). Because of continuing medical problems, I'm no longer able to post a poem-a-day. I'll continue to post poems, but at a reduced frequency, so please stay tuned.

Saturday, March 31, 2012

Smearing Climate Scientists

Michael Mann, a Nobel Prize winning climate scientist, describes the efforts of the fossil fuel industries to demonize climate scientists with scientific disinformation and personal attacks. 

A scientist who won the Nobel Prize
Now finds himself the target of attacks
That spread false tales and dirty lies

By people who deny accepted facts
That global warming is occurring now,
Because of CO2 from human acts.

It’s clear some industries will not allow
The scientific truth to come to light -
They’ll punish those who dare to tell us how

We must stop burning coal and make things right
By trapping CO2 that we release
To try to mitigate our dangerous plight.

The peaceful nature of our world will cease
Once the levels of our seas increase.  

Friday, March 30, 2012

Rick Gives Foreign Policy Address at Jelly Bean Factory

On Thursday, Rick Santorum gave a foreign policy speech at the Jelly Belly Candy Company headquarters in California.  Great choice, Rick - people are sure to take you seriously now.

Rick Santorum gave a major speech
On foreign policy – for him a reach –
He’s picked the place with nostalgic care:
The Jelly Belly Factory, that is where
Ronald Reagan got his jelly beans.
So I would guess at what this means:
Santorum will evoke the ghost of Reagan
But only figuratively – he’s not a pagan –
Perhaps he’ll want us to invade Grenada
Or pay some blackmail, like Iran-Contra.
This silly venue makes it hard, it seems,
To show much gravitas ‘midst jelly beans.

Candidate Clerihews

Governor Mitt Romney
Eats grits of hom'ny
If you make them with cheese
They're sure to please.

Governor Mitt Romney
In 2012 anno dom’ni
It’s likely he’ll be
The GOP’s nominee
Senator Santorum
Has a sense of decorum
That comes straight from God.
Don't you think that is odd?

Speaker Newt Gingrich
Tends to distinguish
Himself in debates
‘Though some facts he misstates.

Doctor Ron Paul
Is the strangest of all.
He's for a standard of gold
Like in days of old

President Obama
Met Dalai Lama
It is said that he pled
For some peace in his head.

Thursday, March 29, 2012

To the Makers of "Obamaville"

The Santorum campaign has released an ad, Welcome to Obamaville, that, in the words of a Santorum strategist, depicts  “Obama’s incompetence and the harsh reality of life in America on his watch.”  It’s an apocalyptic, dystopian vision of life after Obama’s re-election and it’s so far over the top that you have to laugh. And the funniest part is that it’s not a parody – these guys are serious! 

Obamaville’s way off the mark
Your vision's excessively dark
While you think you’re relatin’
Obama to Satan
You come off as dickishly snark.

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Adieu to Newt

Yesterday’s op-ed column by Frank Bruni in the New York Times argues that it’s time to stop paying attention to Newt Gingrich.  Newt, however, has no intention of retiring gracefully. I think what motivates Newt at this point is not winning, which even he can see is not in the cards, but the Oscar Wilde dictum "There is only one thing in life worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about."

It’s time to say good-bye to Newt
He’s been a lot of fun
But lately not a single race
Occurred in which he’s won.

He said one time that it was clear
He’d be the candidate
But now it seems he’s lost his touch,
He’s starting to deflate.

He says the most outrageous things
That cause widespread dissension
His motive in most every case
Is just to get attention.

Reporters have deserted him
His statements they ignore
He’s now become irrelevant
To those who know the score.

Newt says that he’ll continue on
And fight until the end
There’s no one thinks he’s got a chance
But Newt can still pretend.

He harbors stubborn fantasies
That in a wild convention
They’ll nominate him in the end -
A sad misapprehension.

I can’t believe he really thinks
That it’d work out this way.
What motivates him to go on
Despite what many say?

I think that Newt has come to see
by some he is abhorred,
But what he really cannot stand
Is just to be ignored.  

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Broccoli and Health Insurance

The Affordable Care Act’s mandate that everyone be required to purchase health insurance did not fare well in arguments before the Supreme Court today, it was reported.  A major issue in Justice Kennedy’s mind is whether the government would have the power to require one to purchase anything else that would impact health care costs, like buying broccoli.

The mandate got no real support,
To go by what was said,
In arguments before the court -
It might as well be dead.

The issue causing all the fuss
Is this:  Can we be made
to buy some thing that’s good for us
like brocc’li, I’m afraid?

But if you don’t buy broccoli
That’s certainly OK,
Your protest does no harm to me
In any kind of way.

But if you’re with the uninsured
And you get sick some day
Then for your treatment I’m assured  
We'll be the ones who pay. 

Medvedev Mocks Mitt

Mitt Romney criticized President Obama for his overheard remark to Dmitry Medvedev that he would be more “flexible” in negotiations with Russia after this year’s elections.  Romney stated that Obama’s increased felixibility after the elections was “an alarming and troubling development,” and that Russia was "without question our number one geopolitical foe".  China, North Korea and Iran must be disappointed. Medvedev mocked Romney’s statement as  "very reminiscent of Hollywood and also of a certain phase in Russian-U.S. relations." He also suggested that presidential candidates should check their watches from time to time: it is 2012, not the mid-1970s.

Mitt Romney says that Russia is
Our enemy of late
Medvedev said to Romney, viz.
You’d better check the date.

The 1970’s are gone
So try to make some sense
And think before you ramble on
In matters of defense. 

The Ryan Plan 2.0

Representative Paul Ryan revealed his proposal for the federal budget, which has much in common with his proposal from last year. The plan proposes to reach a balanced budget by 2030, largely by lowering the rate of growth of Medicare (by converting it to a premium support system) and drastically reducing non-military discretionary spending.  Republicans have not embraced the plan enthusiastically, for a variety of reasons.  Some Republican representatives contend that it doesn’t go far enough, fast enough. Here, here and here are some of the many additional comments about the plan.

The brand new Ryan plan
Is not much better than
The old one he put out
Last year.  But some devout
Republicans purport
That they cannot  support
The plan.
                   And why is that?
Although the tax is flat-
Ter than it was before
And nicely stiffs the poor
And whittles down the size
Of government, these guys
Contend the plan’s not tough -
It doesn’t cut things fast enough. 

Monday, March 26, 2012

A Hotter Planet Near You

Climatologists have underestimated the rate of global warming by undersampling the Arctic.  When additional Arctic data were included in the temperature records, 2010 and 2005 emerge as the hottest years on record. 

New data from the Arctic’s now in place
It shows new dangers for the human race:
Twenty-ten’s so far the hottest year
The future’s looking worse than we had feared.
The earth is heating faster than we thought
In quickly rising seas we’ll soon be caught.
But don’t you fret or cry about it, folks –
Our politicians say it’s just a hoax.

Sunday, March 25, 2012

Newt Calls President's Remarks "Disgraceful"

Newt Gingrich took issue with the President’s remarks about the Trayvon Martin case, calling them "disgraceful" and saying “We should all be horrified no matter what the ethnic background…Is the President suggesting that if it had been a white who had been shot that would be ok because it didn’t look like him?" He finds it “appalling” that some are turning this into a “racial issue”. What's really appalling, and disgraceful, is Newt's effort to turn the tragic death of an innocent teenager into a political bludgeon to use against the President.  

Newt says the Trayvon Martin case
Would be as bad if he were white.
That’s true, but Newt’s off base
Because there’d only be a slight
Off-chance Trayvon would be attacked
If he were white instead of black.

Perhaps Newt doesn’t have a clue
About what’s racial and what’s not
But it’s more likely that he knew
Exactly what he said and sought
To focus on Obama’s tone
And play a race card of his own.

Saturday, March 24, 2012

News from the War Against Women - II

Representative Cathy McMorris Rogers (R-WA) charged that Democrats were using “scare tactics to scare women” in order to win the women’s vote. This provoked a sarcastic response from host Chris Mathews, but for a rather more earthy response, read the delicious rant by ABL (Angry Black Lady) on Balloon Juice.  For an earlier post on this topic, look here.

The War on Women’s just a ploy
To win the votes of women.
It’s calibrated to annoy
The hearts and minds of women.
That is what Ms. Rogers said
And she should know, ‘cause she’s a woman.
It’s very clever how the Dems have led
Republicans to tell most women
That their body’s not their own,
That factors other than a woman’s
Health and comfort must be shown
Due deference.  These Democrats
Repeat the words they hear and women
Berate the GOP, and that's
The way their scheme is working – women
Allow themselves to be persuaded
That Democrats support a woman’s
Right to make a choice unaided
By men inimical to women.

Friday, March 23, 2012

The Etch-A-Sketch Candidate

Eric Fehrnstrom, Mitt Romney’s senior campaign advisor, committed a major gaffe (i.e. he mistakenly told the truth), when he said that, with respect to the very conservative positions Romney has taken during the GOP primaries, "I think you hit a reset button for the fall campaign. Everything changes…It's almost like an Etch A Sketch. You can kind of shake it up, and we start all over again."  See also Rachel Maddow's take on this. 

Mitt’s views were never more clear
But to them he might not adhere.
If the general election
Needs a correction
He will make those views disappear.

Thursday, March 22, 2012

Targeting Abortion Providers

Stephen C. Webster of The Raw Story writes:  A new bill headed for a vote by a Tennessee House committee this week ...would require the Tennessee Department of Health to publish more detailed information about abortions carried out in the state, including the names of doctors who performed them and the hospitals they work with. It would also require detailed statistics on abortions, including time, date, the woman’s medical conditions at the time, the age of the fetus, the type of procedure performed, the location of the procedure, and the woman’s age, race and marital status, along with details on how many times she has been pregnant.

It’s hard to keep up with laws passed by states
That want to keep women in desperate straights.
A Tennessee law that targets a doctor
Who offers abortions might well get her stalked or
Perhaps even shot at – but that’s the crusade,
Don’t  you see – to make doctors and patients afraid
Of the yahoos out there, so that slowly we’ll lose
The hard-won right of women to choose.

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

The Illinois Results

Mitt Romney won the popular vote in the Illinois primary yesterday by more than 10 points.  Rick Santorum’s chances of winning enough delegates to win the nomination now seem very slim.  Both he and Gingrich are counting on a floor fight at the Tampa convention to stop Romney. 

Mitt’s win in Illinois was big -
He may have it in the bag.
But Rick still has the bug
For votes he’ll have to beg
And pray that Romney will down bog.

Romney Care Success Boosts Obama Care

A new analysis of health care reform in Massachusetts (Romney Care) shows that there were significant improvements in "physical health, mental health, functional limitations, joint disorders, body mass index, and moderate physical activity." The gains were greatest for "women, minorities, near-elderly adults, and those with incomes low enough to qualify for the law's subsidies."  

The Massachusetts health care plan of Mitt’s
Improved the health of those the law embraced.
The program’s plan in Mass, the Prez admits,
Is that on which his own reform is based.
The gains in health for folks in Mass permits
The hope Obama Care, though now encased
In strife, will boost the nation’s health as well
And maybe hateful  right-wing smears dispel. 

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Spring Haiku

green daffodil shoots
yellow below
a golden moon

Banning Bad Behavior

This is my entry to Mad Kanes' Limerick Off, a weekly contest that involves creating a limerick based on a first line provided by Ms. Kane.  If you like to read or compose limericks, or enjoy political humor, check out her web site - it's fun!

Santorum has tended to brood
On banning behavior that’s lewd -
If I am elected
Guys won’t get erected
By pictures of girls in the nude. 

The Illinois Primary

Illinois is a Mitt Romney win
If his supporters turn out for him
Rick’s lagging behind
But please keep in mind
That polls have not always right been.

Mitt was once clearly ahead
But some former supporters have fled
To the right and its fringes
Mitt thinks as he cringes
And feels a sensation of dread.

Mitt’s spending gobs of cold cash
He’d be happy if Rick he could smash
But if Rick should still win it
There’s no way Mitt can spin it
And the taste in his mouth will be ash.

Monday, March 19, 2012

The Bishops Get Tough

The Catholic Church, after a period in which it admitted it was wrong in covering up the actions of pedophilic priests, has now decided to get tough.  The Survivor’s Network of those Abused by Priests, or SNAP, has been the target of legal actions by the Church to disclose any documents that, during the past 23 years (!), might contain any information that could be relevant to a legal case in Kansas City. William Donahue, President of a church advocacy group in New York has said that “SNAP is a menace to the Catholic Church….[The bishops] had better toughen up and go out and buy some good lawyers to get tough. We don’t need altar boys.”  For a previous post on a related issue, see Bishop Finn.

The Church is really scared it seems
That SNAP could threaten its existence
So they demand, with great persistence,
That SNAP disclose to what extremes

Its emails show that it conspired
With others to destroy the Church.
And so they launch a mammoth search
To see just what may have transpired.

But SNAP’s allied with those whom priests
Have raped and sodomized so long
Ago, and though the Church is strong
Its perils, it fears, might have increased.

“We’ll not let weakness and remorse,
Nor feelings for the victims’ plights
Persuade us to give up our rights -
Defend the Church’s the proper course”

Now SNAP’s the David in this fight
Against Goliath of our modern day - 
With lots of lawyers in his pay -
But David’s still the one who’s right.

Sunday, March 18, 2012

Romney: Obama Wanted Higher Gas Prices

Mitt Romney said today that there was “no question” that the President had a plan to increase the price of gas when he took office and that his appointments of the Secretary of Energy, the Secretary of the Interior and the EPA administrator were designed to help “implement that program”.  This is not the first time Mitt has provided us with his own special insights into what Obama is thinking (see Pinocchio for President).

I do believe Mitt’s gone insane
He’s got those tangles in his brain.
He says Obama’s great desire:
To make the price of gas go higher
Perhaps Barack has next at hand’s
A plague of locusts o’er our lands.
About Mitt’s claims, what must be said is:
His nether region’s where Mitt’s head is.

Saturday, March 17, 2012

Jewish Socialism

It turns out, not surprisingly, that Sandra Fluke, the object (slut! prostitute!) of Rush Limbaugh’s ravings about her Congressional testimony on birth control, has a boyfriend, Adam Mutterperl.  Brooks Bayne has written an anti-Semitic screed that focuses on the relationship between Mutterperl’s family  and “the typical Jewish variant of socialism”.  The words “Jew” or “Jewish” appear 18 times in Bayne's article – get the point?

Ms. Fluke’s got a boyfriend, and wouldn’t you know,
He’s from a rich family, but that is not all,
The family is Jewish! My God, what a blow!
They’re linked to several Jews that appall
Like Louis Brandeis, a secular Jew
And socialist once on our highest Court,
And the Jewish eponymous Brandeis U.
Which foments neo-Marxist support.
The boyfriend’s parents, Nancy and Bill,
Are the very worst kind of activist types,
They promote “social justice” a code to instill
Marxist programs of various stripes.
Our media haven’t discussed this at all,
But Brooks Bayne, some think, has plenty of guts
To expose this Jewish-Marxist cabal,
But more likely it's true that he’s simply a putz.

Friday, March 16, 2012

Life in Arizona

The Judiciary Committee of the Arizona State Legislature endorsed a bill that “would permit employers to ask their employees for proof of medical prescription if they seek contraceptives for non-reproductive purposes, such as hormone control or acne treatment.” The author of the bill, Republican Debbie Resko, said, without a trace of irony, “I believe we live in America. We don’t live in the Soviet Union... So, government should not be telling the organizations or mom and pop employers to do something against their moral beliefs.” 

If you're taking the pill it's OK
For your boss to approach you one day
To prove and rebut
That you’re not a slut
And his moral misgivings allay. 

Thursday, March 15, 2012

Reflections on a Santorum-Gingrich Ticket

From the Huffington Post:  “A senior adviser to Newt Gingrich told The Huffington Post Tuesday night the campaign likes the idea of Rick Santorum and Gingrich running on the same ticket for the presidency and vice presidency.”  I wonder if he cleared that suggestion with Newt?

The idea of Rick and Newt
Running together’s a hoot
The question at large
Is ‘Who’d be in charge?’
Junior partner is not Newt’s strong suit.

What is that awful sight there?
It’s a sight that all liberals might scare
It’s Gingrich with Rick -
It must be a trick,
Or a liberal’s most dreadful nightmare.

With Newt on the ticket as Veep
Santorum had sure better keep
His buddy real quiet
Or he’ll start a riot
And with Newt o’er the cliff he will leap.

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Rick, Evolution and Creationism

Rick Santorum, in several interviews and statements, has made clear his disbelief in the scientific consensus when it conflicts with his religious views.  Speaking of evolution, he has said, “It’s very interesting that you have a situation that science will only allow things in the classroom that are consistent with a non-Creator idea of how we got here, as if somehow or another that’s scientific. “  Somehow or other, that is, in fact, precisely the scientific viewpoint.

Rick thinks evolution’s a fictional tale
That the Bible is right in ev’ry detail
And should be taught to our kids in their school
The Word of the Lord should be the main rule
Intellectual freedom’s his word for today,
Let God in the classroom to have his say
But Science gives unconscionable precedence
To facts that are based on solid evidence.
There’s no room for Faith in the classroom, says he.
You got it, Rick – that’s the way it should be.  

Mitt the Appeaser

Mitt Romney has repeatedly referred to President Obama as an “appeaser”, for “apologizing for America” and being “timid and weak”.  Mitt recently had an opportunity to show his own profile in courage by taking a forthright stand against the inflammatory, obscene words of Rush Limbaugh (of the “slut”, “prostitute” and “post your sex video” fame).  However, not wishing to make Rush or his followers in any way uncomfortable, he limited his response to saying that it was “not the language I would have used.”  How’s that for appeasement? Timidity? Weakness? 

Mitt Romney says the Prez appeases
‘Though who he thinks the appeasee is
It’s not worthwhile for him to say
I guess it doesn’t matter anyway
It’s just a line that gets applause
From those committed to his cause.

Mitt’s had his chance to show his stuff
When Rush’s language got too rough
But Mitt said Rush could be excused
“not the language I’d have used…”
These wimpy words Rush won’t displease
And that’s the meaning of “appease”

Appeaser’s a term that ‘comes much clearer
When Mitt, you look in your own mirror. 

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

The Dixie Vote

To be sung to the tune of Dixie.

Oh, they’re voting down in the land of cotton,
Confed’rate creeds are not forgotten,
Vote away, vote away, vote away
Dixie Land

The polling says they're all tied up there
Rick and Mitt and Newt collide there
Vote away, vote away, vote away
Dixie Land

They’re voting down in Dixie, Hooray! Hooray!
In Dixie Land they’ll make their stand
There’s lots at stake in Dixie
Away, away, away down south in Dixie.
Away, away, away down south in Dixie

For Romney it’s a long away game
Cheesy grits his choice became
Vote away, vote away, vote away
Dixie Land

For Gingrich it is now or never
He’s got to win or quit forever
Vote away, vote away, vote away
Dixie Land

Oh, they’re voting down in Dixie, Hooray! Hooray!

Now Rick Santorum’d like to win
If only to see Newt’s chagrin
Vote away, vote away, vote away
Dixie Land

If Mitt should win this, all agree
He’ll be the choice o’the GOP
Vote away, vote away, vote away
Dixie Land

Oh, they’re voting…etc.

Monday, March 12, 2012

"Bombs Away" McCain

John McCain found it “bothersome” that President would “denigrate the views of other people who feel that they have a right to weigh in on this issue”, presumably by his statements about the “loose talk of war”.  He said that Iran “continue[s] to develop a nuclear weapon”, a statement for which there is no firm evidence, and that it was “not helpful” for the President to try “to persuade Israel not to attack [Iran] at least between now and November of 2012.”

If John McCain were president
He wouldn’t be real diffident
About employing military force -
To “secure the peace” of course.
He wants a no-fly zone in Syria
Although it’s hazy what criteria
He’d use to bomb the targets there.
It’s not like the Libyan affair.
And now he’s somewhat bothered that
Obama’d rather have a chat
With leaders in Iran instead
Of letting Bibi go ahead
And bomb them all to kingdom come.
And if at times you’re feeling glum
Just be grateful, don’t complain -
Be glad our president is not McCain.

Saturday, March 10, 2012

Sarah's Makin' Stuff Up Again

On the Sean Hannity show (naturally), Sarah Palin claimed that Obama somehow wants to return to the pre-civil war era.  In her own unforgettable words, “ Well, what we can glean from this is an understanding of why we are all on the road that we are on and it's based on what went into his thinking, being surrounded by radicals. He is bringing us back Sean to days that... you can harken back to days before the Civil War, when unfortunately too many Americans mistakenly believed that not all men were created equal… What Barack Obama seems to want to do is go back to before those days when we were in different classes based on income, based on color of skin.”

We’ve not heard much lately from  Sarah
She’s been hiding behind her mascara.
What our first black Prez
Really wants is, she says,
To return to the civil war era.

Friday, March 9, 2012

Rush Limbaugh and the Axe

Fox News commentator Eric Bolling suggested that the whole Sandra Fluke/Rush Limbaugh controversy had been orchestrated by the White House.

George Frownley took a last drag on his Camel and tossed the butt into the gutter.  Axe would be waiting for him in the garage. An acid burble rose from his gut – he was always nervous when he had to meet Axe.  He needed a drink, but it was only 10:30 in the morning and Axe would definitely not approve.   He grimaced and crossed Michigan Avenue to the parking garage.   He spotted Axe’s car, a beat-up purple Prius, right where he said it would be, in space 203 on the Orange level.  He took out the keys Axe had sent him and drove down to the Blue level and parked close to the stairwell.  A guy with a cane, dark glasses and a straw Trilby hat limped over to the car.  George didn’t recognize him at first but the mustache was a giveaway – it was Axe, in a disguise George hadn’t seen before.

“Go down to the Red level,” barked Axe, “and park in space 557”. 

“Good work with Sandra”, he said after they had parked.

“Yeah, she was perfect for the part.”  George was impressed that she seemed so wholesome, although Axe had warned him that she was just a slut, a common prostitute.  “We had to go over her testimony several times, but after slipping a couple C-notes into her bra, she caught on. The whole set-up was beautiful, Axe.  How did you know they wouldn’t let her testify? And then the Pelosi thing – it was great.”

“Planning, George…nothing left to chance.”

“I listened to Rush that afternoon.  I couldn’t believe that he walked right into the trap.  He really outdid himself this time, calling her a slut, telling her to make tapes of herself having sex.  I was afraid it was just way too much and Romney and the rest would have to call him out for it.”

“Naah, I know these guys, George.  If they put all their balls together, they couldn’t make enough testosterone for a single hard-on.  They’re so scared of Rush that if he said ‘shit’ they’d fill up their pants in 30 seconds.  Romney with his ‘not language I would have used’ – Jeez, what a wuss!  So now we got ‘em – you know, if they can’t stand up to Rush Limbaugh, how’re they gonna do against Ahmadinejad.  We’re gonna tag them with that for the rest of the campaign.”

“Well, it was a great operation, Axe.  Congratulations.”

“You played your part well, George.  Sandra was completely believable. “  Axe took out an envelope and handed it to me. “This is for her.  She’s working at a porn shop over on Hubbard.”

“I’m still puzzled about Limbaugh, though.  He was so over the top.  It doesn’t make much sense.  And yet the whole operation hinged on him doin’ what he did.  How could you be sure he’d run off the cliff like that?”

“Like I said, George – leave nothing to chance.”

“Wait…I don’t understand.  You mean…?”

“Yep, Rush is our guy.  We’ve been grooming him for years.  He’ll do anything for Viagra.  Wait 'til you see what he’s gonna say about Hillary - but that won’t be ‘til the fall.”          

Thursday, March 8, 2012

Rush Confessed

If you’ve not seen Gene Weingarten’s satirical post on Rush Limbaugh, you need to check it out.  Vitriol was never funnier.  It’s the best word on the Limbaugh mass of head cheese yet.

Of all the comments I have seen
On Rush’s slanderous, obscene
Attack on Sandra Fluke, Gene’s jest
Addressed it best, where Rush confessed
To what the rest of us already guessed.

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Results from Super Tuesday

Mitt Romney won six states in all
It was a pretty good night’s haul.
Ohio proved to be a squeaker
But Mitt avoided looking weaker -
He came in first by one percent
Thanks to all the cash he spent.
And as for Rick, he did OK
He’ll live to run another day.
He won 3 states, that’s not too bad,
All things considered, he seemed glad.
Newt too was cheerful ‘cause he won
In Georgia, where he’s native son,
But that was all for him last night
Although he said he’d take his fight
To other Southern states next week
And try to send Mitt up the creek.  
Ron Paul’s not won a race so far
His purpose seems a bit bizarre
But he’s got plans for the convention
But what they are, he doesn’t mention.
For Super Tuesday, that’s a wrap,
It was a bitter, angry scrap
And after all that harsh combat
Not much has changed despite all that. 

Ohio Victory

In Ohio, Mitt eked out a win
But his margin of victory was thin
In the end he would need
Just a one percent lead
To win of his teeth by the skin. 

Rush Agonistes

There are hopeful signs that the broadcasting industry is losing patience with Rush Limbaugh.  Several sponsors have stated they will no longer support his show, and there is a petition drive to pressure more sponsors to drop him.  At least two stations have decided to drop his show from their lineup.  

There once was a pundit named Rush
He’d say stuff that made others blush
But he’s now gone too far
Let us say au revoir
As his program goes down with a flush. 

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

It's Super Tuesday!

Today’s the day – it’s Super Tuesday
Mitt Romney hopes for a good news day
If he’s the winner in Ohio
Rick might have to say good-bye-O.
If Tennessee should go Mitt's way
He’ll obtain some real cachet
In Georgia, Newt will prob’ly win
Would one more comeback then begin?
In Oklahoma, Rick’s ahead
He’s got to win here or he’s dead.
Ron Paul’s not really in the race
In Virginia he’ll be second place
And that’s because it’s him and Mitt,
Rick and Newt are out of it.
So there you have my brief survey:
Mitt comes out ahead today. 

Monday, March 5, 2012

The Tree-Hugger Side of Fox News!

Fox News contributor Sally Kohn recently called the Keystone XL pipeline proposal a “slimy, scam of a deal” and listed 6 reasons why Obama’s decision to nix the deal was correct! 

Obama said there’d be no deal
To build a pipeline all the way
From Canada to our Gulf coast.
But people on the right all say

That we lose jobs that might be ours
And oil that we could really use
To moderate the price of gas -
But here’s Ms. Kohn - she’s on Fox News:

Obama’s right to nix the deal,
And here are 6 good reasons why.
Just read her argument yourself
You’ll find she’s hit bull’s eye.

The only thing that seems real strange:
Her point of view's unorthodox.
I  wonder how much longer she
Will be contributing to Fox.

Sunday, March 4, 2012

Rush Says He's Sorry

Rush Limbaugh issued kind of an apology for his vituperative attacks on Sandra Fluke, a law student who testified before a Congressional Committee on birth control issues. He said, “… I chose the wrong words in my analogy of the situation. I did not mean a personal attack on Ms. Fluke.”  Words like “slut” and “prostitute”, which he apparently didn’t mean to be a personal attack.  Shows you how detached from reality an obese drug addict can be…oops, I didn’t mean that to be a personal attack.

I wish I could take my words back
It wasn’t a personal attack
But I used the word “slut”
I should keep my mouth shut
‘Cause now some sponsors I lack.

Saturday, March 3, 2012

Don't Scratch That Itch!

The Wilmington, DE, City Council just passed a resolution calling on state legislatures and the U.S. Congress to grant eggs and sperm “personhood” status.  The resolution was put forth as a protest against recent attempts to limit access of women to insured birth control.  Get the whole story, as well as the hilarious “Every Sperm is Sacred” (by Monty Python) here

Sperms and eggs are people, too
That’s what the Council just put through
So watch it guys, when you’re relaxin’
Be careful not to wax your Jackson.  

The GOP's Jeremiah Wright Moment

For background, see Sonnet for Sandra below.  

Rush Limbaugh called her a slut
Although she was anything but
So how did the candidates feel
About his outrageous spiel?

Well, Rick said that it was “absurd”
It was just an “entertainer's” word.
And as for candidate Newt
He’s been uncharacteristically mute.

What about good Dr. Paul?
Not a word about Rush Limbaugh
Though he said that, really
The birth control issue was “silly”.

And how about front runner Mitt?
What was his take on this bit?
“Not language I would have used”
He seemed a little bemused.

Now Rush has got lots of clout
So folks fear to call him out
But in this instance outrage calls
Whassa matter, guys, cat got your balls?

Sonnet for Sandra

Sandra Fluke, a law student at Georgetown University, was not permitted to testify before Darrell Issa’s committee investigating government intrusion into religious freedom, an issue that has focused on the issue of insurance-provided birth control.  In her testimony, presented at a hearing called by Nancy Pelosi, she stated that the absence of free birth control would pose a financial hardship to female students. The right, in the form of Rush Limbaugh and Craig Bannister, responded by calling her a “sex-crazed coed” and “a slut…a prostitute”, among other epithets.  These guys are a disgrace to whatever profession they claim to be representing.   

A female student of the law had asked
To testify to Issa’s group who sought
To bring out reasons why Obama ought
To change the regulations he had passed.

But to the student they said “Not so fast!
We want no women here.”  And so she brought
Her view that contraception costs a lot
To Ms. Pelosi’s meeting at long last.

The right wing pundits now respond with names
More fit for locker rooms than for debate.
They called her “sex-crazed”, “prostitute” and “slut”
They’re not a bit ashamed that this defames
A young and thoughtful woman. They create
Malignant hate with their destructive smut.

Friday, March 2, 2012

It's not Easy Being Algae

Republicans (Newt Gingrich, Mitch McConnell, Rush Limbaugh, Charles Krauthammer) have ridiculed President Obama’s statement the other day that algae, grown in the USA, might be an excellent source of biofuels.   This seems more than a little cynical since other Republicans (Mike Pence, Darrell Issa, Mike Johanns) have previously been enthusiastic supporters of algae biotechnology as an alternate fuel source.

It’s not easy being green
We don’t get enough respect
We provide a fuel that’s clean,
Environmentally correct.

We little cells can grow real fast
All we need is good sunlight.
But here’s a fact some can’t get past:
We’re green – it don’t seem right.

And yet we can produce the oil
To fuel our country’s trucks and cars
The environment we won’t despoil
No oil spills or yucky tars.

While growing we fix CO2
And generate O2 as well
All of this is good for you
And our atmospheric shell.

But it’s not easy being green
The GOP deplores us
But this was not to be foreseen
‘Cause they were once all for us. 

Thursday, March 1, 2012

Olympia Snowe

The moderate Republican Senator from Maine, Olympia J. Snowe, announced that she will not be seeking a fourth term. Among the reasons she gave in a recent op-ed in the Washington Post, was the “dysfunction and political polarization” in the Senate.  

Republican Olympia Snowe
Won’t seek re-election, you know
Bipartisanship’s dead
It’s alleged that she said.
She should have switched parties a long time ago

Romney on Global Warming

Mitt Romney's various positions on global warming are described here.

The earth is warming up, said he,
He also thought that we might be
At fault to some extent -
That we too much augment
The CO2 in th’atmosphere.
But he said that way back last year
And now he’s come to doubt
If any person knows about
The reasons for our climate change.
So now he finds it very strange
That anyone would think it’s true
That we must spew less CO2.