The poet William Stafford set himself the task of writing a poem a day. When someone asked him what he would do when his poem-of-the-day wasn't very good, he replied "I simply lower my standards." In order to increase output, the bar here is set at a low level - the point of this is to have some fun with current events and politics. I welcome contributions and comments. Now you can also follow Doggerelo on Twitter (@doggerelo). Because of continuing medical problems, I'm no longer able to post a poem-a-day. I'll continue to post poems, but at a reduced frequency, so please stay tuned.

Thursday, May 31, 2012

Allen West Defends Obamacare!

Representative Allen West, the troglodyte bomb-thrower of the Republican right, seems to be mellowing a bit.  He’s broken with many of his right-wing colleagues in finding some virtues in Obamacare, namely those features of the law that are the most popular, like keeping children on their parent’s health insurance plans until they reach 26 years of age, banning insurance companies from denying insurance because of pre-existing conditions, and closing the “donut hole” in Medicare’s prescription drug plan.  The problem, of course, is that without the mandate that forces healthy people to buy insurance or pay a fine, many people will only buy insurance when they get sick, driving rates to unsustainable highs.

Republicans think Obamacare’s bad,
They say it’s the worst law that we’ve ever had.
Get rid of it all, repeal it completely.
But now some say, wait, let’s do this discretely
There are a few parts that I like the best,
Says of all people, Representative West,
Let’s save just those parts and get rid of the rest.
There’s just one little problem, one little quirk,
Without the loathed mandate, it just doesn’t work.

Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Oops! Forgot About that First Amendment.

Republican lawmakers in the NY State Assembly proposed legislation that would forbid anonymous comments on the internet.  Their motivation was to reduce the malicious bullying on the internet that plagues young people today.  Somehow, the lawyers among them didn’t realize that their legislation was unconstitutional and that the first amendment protects anonymous commentary.    

Want to comment on the internet?
Here’s a rule you can’t forget:
Anonymous remarks are banned,
Your name is what they now demand.
To bullying they to put an end meant
But they forgot the first amendment.

The Romney-Trump Connection

Who’d have thought that the political circus geek Donald Trump would become a campaign issue?  Trump has scheduled a fund-raising event  for Romney in Las Vegas and Mitt has given it his blessing, despite The Donald’s born-again birtherism.  Mitt explained himself this way: “You know, I don’t agree with all the people who support me and my guess is they don’t all agree with everything I believe in.” The Republican establishment is aghast at this turn of events:  Peggy Noonan has decried the Romney campaign’s association with the Trump “freak show” and George Will is completely mystified: “The cost of appearing with this bloviating ignoramus is obvious, it seems to me. Donald Trump is redundant evidence that if your net worth is high enough, your IQ can be very low and you can still intrude into American politics.”  Pretty harsh stuff.  Meanwhile, the Obama campaign is undoubtedly giving gleeful high-fives all around.  Every mention of the Trump-Romney axis, or Obama’s birth certificate, distracts voters from the issue the Romney campaign would like to be talking about:  The Economy,Stupid, an appellation which certainly seems apt in this case. 

The Donald’s once again at center stage
Obama’s birth has some folks in a rage
And Trump is shouting out his birther card
‘Though he’s been stung before by this canard.
Mitt Romney thinks the Trump association
Will not affect his campaign’s reputation
But folks might wonder if his mind that crass is
When Mitt hangs out with loud-mouthed asses.

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Purge the Democrats!

Republican Florida Governor Rick Scott is attempting to purge voter rolls of “non-citizens”, but the list he has assembled includes many US citizens, particularly among Democratic or Hispanic voters.  Letters have been sent to those on the list informing them that they will be unable to vote in upcoming elections unless they appeal within 30 days.  

Republican Governor Scott
Non-citizen voters has sought
But one of his goals
Is to clean voter rolls
Of Democrat voters a lot.

Monday, May 28, 2012

Fueling Our Military

As detailed in this post by David Roberts from Grist, Republican legislators in the House are doing their best to staunch the use of non-fossil fuels (other than nuclear power) by the military, on the grounds that it costs more than conventional fossil fuels. On the other hand, they are promoting the use of liquid fuels derived from coal by a process that produces 2.5 times as much CO2 as the use of conventional oil, and is more expensive to boot! 

Our military’s much too strong
To be saddled by a fuel that’s wrong.
And if it’s not a fossil fuel
That runs counter to our rule
And costs more money to employ
So we forbid it to deploy.
But if it’s made from dirty coal
That’s consistent with our goal;
Although it costs more in the end
It’s use we gladly recommend.
The fossil fuel folks give us dough
So we’ll never slow the oil flow.

Sunday, May 27, 2012

Trump Loves Mitt....Now

In April, 2011, Donald Trump characterized Mitt Romney’s tenure at Bain as follows:  “He’d buy companies, he’d close companies, he’d get rid of jobs.”  Now, however, as The Donald’s gotten to know The Mitt better, he thinks “he’s a terrific guy”.

The Donald is now rooting for Mitt
But before that he had to admit
Many workers he fired
Before he retired
And the profits he and Bain split.

But now Donald thinks he’s just great
A new story he has to relate
He’s my guy, Donald said,
I once was misled
But now I think he’s first rate!

Saturday, May 26, 2012

Runaway Obama Spending? False!

Rex Nutting exposes the myth of runaway federal spending by the Obama administration.  In fact, spending under Obama has been relatively flat, with a 1.4% growth rate, as compared to the rates of growth under Reagan, Bush pere, Clinton, and Bush dubya, which ranged from 3.2% (Clinton I) to 8.7% (Reagan I). 

Obama is spending is like wild-fire
As everyone knows, the predictions are dire.
Now Mitt says he’ll put an end to all that
Trouble is, the spending’s been flat
It’s a myth that the right likes to spread
But as for the evidence, there’s not a shred. 

Friday, May 25, 2012

Bain Blame Game

There’s lots of fussing over Bain
And private gain ‘gainst workers’ pain.
It made Mitt rich.
But does this mean he’s fit to lead
Our country in its hour of need?
That’s Romney’s pitch.

Mitt says that he knows how to make
Our economy at last awake;
He knows the way.
His private sector savoir faire
Will guide his efforts to repair
Our slow decay.

Obama says that’s not the case
The country is a different place.
It’s not a firm.
The President does not make wealth -
To foster people’s welfare and their health
Is his concern.

Mitt says Obama’s inclination
Is character assassination:
They call Mitt evil.
Obama’s folks say it’s fair game
To point out what he did at Bain
Caused great upheaval.

Now some Obama  friends advise
To demonize free enterprise
Is simply lame.
Obama says that Mitt’s main claim
Is to emphasize his role at Bain,
So he’s to blame.

Thursday, May 24, 2012

The Conventional Donald

Donald Trump is fishing for a speaking role at the Republican National Convention in Tampa in August.  A Trump spokesman said, ”Mr. Trump’s massive popularity is just one of the many reasons he is being sought as a keynote speaker at the Tampa RNC Convention,”  And The Donald himself tweeted “Hmmm...can you imagine me speaking at the RNC Convention in Tampa? That's a speech everyone would watch.”  You bet.

The Donald says he’d like to speak.
His talk would surely be unique.
He’d doubtless blow his birther horn
And question where the Pres was born.
He’d note our economic slump
But he’d talk more ‘bout Donald Trump. 

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Sheriff Joe: Hawaii-Five-0

Two men, showing Maricopa County Sheriff’s Office badges, have appeared at the Hawaii Department of Health offices requesting verification of President Obama’s birth certificate.  The men claim that they were duly authorized by Sheriff Joe Arpiao, “who is conducting an official investigation”, and who is now apparently employing tax-payer funded deputies as an official part of the official investigation. 

The deputies of sheriff Joe Arpaio
Are looking for clues in Hawai-o
The case is complex,
So where to go next?
Well, Kenya’s the best place to try-o.

Obama the Divider

Republican Vice-Presidential prospect Marco Rubio recently declared that Barack Obama  is “one of the most divisive presidents in American history” and that  “we have not seen such a divisive figure in modern American history”.  He’s apparently forgotten that Republicans actually impeached Bill Clinton.  He’s also unaware that George W. Bush holds 6 of the top 10 spots in Gallup’s annual list of the most polarizing Presidents. Even more importantly, he fails to recognize that the divisions in our nation stem in large part from the dishonest language used by Republicans to characterize Obama and his programs, of which Rubio’s comments are just a mild example.   [poetic  form:  Minute Poem]

Obama tears the nation’s heart.
It splits apart
At left-right seams
Into extremes.

The hateful words that make us numb -
They’re coming from

But who’s the Pres that split us most
From coast to coast?
Most folks would push
George Dubya Bush!

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Scott Walker and "Radical" Teachers

A conservative group published the salaries of the 321 most highly paid teachers in the Janesville, WI school district.  At the bottom of their flyer was a Parents’ Rights Protection Form, requesting that the parent’s child “be assigned to a classroom taught by a non-radical teacher during the 2012-2013 school year.”  And who were the “radical” teachers?  The flyer helpfully provided a web site to determine which school district employees signed petitions to recall Governor Scott Walker.  Some bloggers found this upsetting.

They’re teaching your kids ev’ry day
But conservatives published their pay
If they signed for recall
You can ask city hall
To take your kids from them today.

Schumer Bill Compared to Nazi Legislation

Senators Chuck Schumer and Bob Casey co-authored a bill that would introduce various tax penalties on those who give up their US citizenship to avoid paying US taxes.  As reported in The Hill, Grover Norquist, president of Americans for Tax Reform, said that

 targeting people that turn in their passports reminded him of regimes that had driven people out of the country, only to confiscate their wealth at the door.
“I think Schumer can probably find the legislation to do this. It existed in Germany in the 1930s and Rhodesia in the ’70s and in South Africa as well,” said Norquist. “He probably just plagiarized it and translated it from the original German.”
The Nazis infamously implemented a departure tax on Jews who tried to flee Germany before World War II. Schumer is Jewish.
Chuck Schumer’s wrote a little bill
That seeks to punish those who will
Renounce their US citizenship
to give the IRS the slip.
But Grover Norquist calls the shots, he’s
said the bill’s like those of Nazis,
who punished Jews who left their land.
Now Grover’s used to high command
And so he seems a little mean,
But in this case he’s just obscene. 

It's All Obama's Fault, Continued

Reince Priebus, the  chairman of the Republican National Committee, blamed Obama and the Democrats for forcing Republicans to defend themselves in the light of the a Republican Super PAC proposal to focus its attacks on ties between Obama and the incendiary preacher Jeremiah Wright.  .  It’s the Democrats and Barack Obama that want the story out there”, Priebus saidRomney has "repudiated” the proposal, as did John McCain in the 2008 election. 

The Chairman of the RNC has said
Obama seeks to throw us off the track
And so he wants to have this story spread
About the GOP’s new bold attack
Upon his former friend - this instead
Of asking why th’economy’s so slack.
If Republicans get blamed for this assault
It’s clear to Reince it’s all Obama’s fault.

Monday, May 21, 2012

Thoughts From a Man of God

The good Pastor Charles Worley has a proposal to “get rid of lesbians and queers” which he offered to his congregation in his Sunday sermon: “ Build a great big large fence, 150 or 100 miles long. Put all the lesbians in there. Fly over and drop some food. Do the same thing with the queers and the homosexuals. Have that fence electrified so they can’t get out. Feed ‘em, and– And you know what? In a few years they’ll die out. You know why? They can’t reproduce.” 

Let’s round up lesbians and queers
And put ‘em behind  a ‘lectric fence
We’ll keep ‘em there for many years
And dying off they’ll soon commense.
And we’ll be off’ring up our cheers
And rid the world of their offence.
The Christian answer to perversion?
This was Pastor Worley’s version.

The Demise of Americans Elect

Americans Elect is a non-partisan, non-profit organization that attempted to use the internet as a means of selecting a third-party candidate for the Presidential election.  Earlier this week, the organization admitted defeat.   “As of this week, no candidate achieved the national support threshold required to enter the Americans Elect online convention in June…The primary process for the Americans Elect nomination has come to an end.”  Perhaps that is just as well, since it seems likely that an Americans Elect candidate would draw more support from Democrats than from Republicans.

Americans Elect
Has failed to select 
Through the internet estate
Their party's candidate,
To give the moderates a voice
And provide another choice.
But the problem with their affair
Is that the people didn’t care.

Sunday, May 20, 2012

Mitt: Bipartisan Military Budget Cuts Are Obama's Fault

In an Op Ed piece in the Chicago Tribune, Mitt Romney blamed President Obama for the severe budget cuts the military faces as a result of the “sequester” mechanism that both Republicans and Democrates agreed to in an effort to force a solution to the debt ceiling crisis last summer.  He said that the United States was “on a path to a hollow military.”

“Our military’s getting hollow” -
That’s a little hard to swallow.
We spend more on defense
Than fits with common sense.
The cuts that Mitt decries,
Approved by his allies,
Were part of a big deal,
Admittedly surreal,
To cut the growth of debt,
A deal one can’t forget,
Unless of course you’re Mitt
Who alters things to fit
His story of the day
That when matters go astray
And with discontent are fraught,
It’s all Obama’s fault.

The Birthers Are Back

Arizona Secretary of State Ken Bennett stated in an interview that he was not convinced that President Obama was born and the US and said that it’s “possible” he would keep Obama off the ballot in the Presidential elections in November.  Bennett is planning on running for governor of the state after Governor Jan Brewer’s term comes to an end.

Ken Bennett says he’s not sure
And an answer he must procure
Just where on the earth
Was Obama’s birth?
It’s the right-winger’s question du jour.

Ken Bennett says that he’s in doubt
Obama’s birthplace he’ll check out
And it’s a possibility
That he will issue a decree
To take his name off of the ticket.
Well, that would be the stickiest wicket.
But Ken is duty-bound, he says
T’ensure we have a legal Pres.
He’s a very thorough sleuth -
He’ll ask Hawaii for the truth.
The Hawaiians are getting sick of this
They’ve said before that nought’s amiss
Ken’s risking looking like a chump,
Or what’s worse, like Donald Trump
Why would he raise this point once more
When it’s been done ofttimes before?
Ken Bennett’s reason number one:
For governor he’s going to run.

Saturday, May 19, 2012

Souter Dissent on Citizens United Suppressed

A New Yorker article by Jeffrey Toobin on the Supreme Court’s Citizens United decision disclosed that Justice David Souter had filed a strong dissent that “aired some of the Court’s dirty laundry”.  Chief Justice Roberts then slated the case to be "reargued" at a later date, which not only insured that Souter’s dissent would not be published due to his retirement, but dramatically expanded the scope of the questions under consideration for the case.  See Toobin’s article for details. 

Mr. Justice David Souter
Has had enough of the Supremes
He’s been a circumspect straight shooter
But he’s aghast at right-wing schemes.

In the case of Citizens United
He wrote a very strong dissent
It was so strong that it incited
Justice Roberts’ discontent.

So Roberts used a nifty trick
To keep from it the light of day
Since Souter’s such a maverick
I really wish he’d had his say.

He castigated certain justices -
His right-wing colleagues on the court -
No doubt he felt disgust as his
Dissent was then cut short.
See Toobin’s article about
The Citizens United tale -
It gave the wealthy too much clout,
And put our country up for sale.

Friday, May 18, 2012

Romney, the un-McCain

In a story in Politico, a Romney campaign aid promised that the Vice-Presidential candidate will be an “incredibly boring white guy”.   They are trying to avoid the mistakes made by the McCain campaign in 2008, principal among them choosing the exciting, but incredibly incompetent Sarah Palin for the Vice-Presidential slot.  Some of the boring white guys being considered as Romney’s VP have pushed back. 

Mitt Romney won’t be like John McCain
No one exciting will he ordain.
No one like Sarah will share his stage.
The independents they’ll assuage
With someone male and white
And boring too, but awfully bright.
A balanced ticket it is not
A boring white guy’s got top slot,
And with the Veep, then that makes two.
I’ll go to sleep, wouldn’t you?

Thursday, May 17, 2012

Mitt: No Questions Please!

Mitt Romney’s campaign has taken extraordinary steps to isolate the candidate from reporters, as detailed in this post from Balloon Juice.

Please keep reporters at bay
Mitt thinks they will lead him astray
They’re full of aggression
And might ask a question
And Mitt will not know what to say.

Please don’t ask questions of Mitt
He’ll probably run off in a snit
Unlike Erik Cantor
He simply can’t banter
So questioning he will omit.

Please don’t expect give and take
It’s a phobia Mitt cannot shake
One of the theories
Why he’s leery of queries
Is his words make him sound like a fake.

Please keep away from poor Mitt
He’s doesn’t have much of a wit
He’s not very clever
In a verbal endeavor
Spontaneity he won’t permit.

Please don’t accuse Mitt of lying
He’s just continually trying
To say something cool
And he’s nobody’s fool
But the truth he keeps misapplying.

Etch-A-Sketching the Numbers

The Romney campaign, which used to claim that Bain Capital had created 100,000 jobs during Romney’s tenure, has now lowered that estimate to vaguely “thousands”. 

Mitt Romney made a mistake again
About the number of jobs that Bain
Created when he was in charge.
His numbers were too large:
Instead of 100 K
It’s only “thousands” they say
A little mistake
Anyone can make,
Too bad,
Can’t add.

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Herman Cain Endorses Mitt

Herman Cain endorsed Mitt Romney at a sparsely attended press conference at the National  Republican Club today.

Herman Cain is now for Mitt
He’s changed his tune a little bit.
Before he was for Newt
But now that question’s moot.
When asked just what his change involved
He quipped “My endorsement has evolved.”

Debt Ceiling Redux

Coming to a TV near you: a replay of the great debt ceiling debate.  Speaker of the House John Boehner has stated that when the national debt nears its legal limit next January, spending cuts will have to be made that are greater than the debt limit increase.  If you remember, that really worked out well last time.  House Republicans are even now trying to undermine the agreement they made during the last debt ceiling debate.  I suspect there will be no incentive for Republicans to compromise on any of their positions and so the nation will once again be held hostage by the far right wing-nuts in the House. 

The speaker’s primed to say once more
It’s rising debt that he must halt
He’ll hold us hostages encore
Perhaps he’ll lead us to default

This doesn’t seem to bother Boehner
He’s glad to take us to the brink.
There is no posture that’s insaner
You’ve got to wonder what they think.

The sticking point in these debates
Is that no taxes can be raised
That’s what the GOP relates
Is sacrosanct, the Lord be praised.  

No tax increases for the rich
They’re “job creators”, don’t you see
They’ll drive us all into the ditch -
Default would be catastrophe.

But Boehner and his right-wing friends
Are full of fight and we surmise
That, judging by the latest trends,
They’ll not consider compromise.

Why do things have to be this way?
Nothing ever seems to work.
And the reason it’s so bad today?
Republicans have gone berserk.

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Two for Ron Paul

Ron Paul announced yesterday that he won't be spending any more money in future state primaries. But does that mean he's "suspending his campaign"?  Apparently not.  He has said that he  “..will continue to take leadership positions, win delegates, and carry a strong message to the Republican National Convention that Liberty is the way of the future." What form that will take at the Republican Convention in Tampa is anybody’s guess.  But one thing is clear, Ron Paul is not going away.

Ron Paul has said that he’s through;
Buying ads his campaign will eschew
But he’s still out there running,
For something he’s gunning
No one knows what at Tampa he’ll do.

Ron Paul allowed as how he’ll stop;
Campaign appearances he will drop.
But that don’t mean that he has quit
There’s no way that he’ll yield to Mitt
And give him now his full support.
He’s on a quest he won’t cut short.
The fans of Paul are very zealous
And that makes Romney very jealous.
Allies of Paul have booed Mitt’s son,
And piled up delegates one by one.
So what’s he got there up his sleeve?
That’s something no one can perceive.
And so to Mitt we’ve got to say
Sorry Dude, Ron’s here to stay.

Greece Agonistes

Greece today seems paralyzed by uncertainty, discord and fear.  

The Greeks said no to Germany’s plan
To make them pay off their debt
When austerity came, a depression began
With poverty now they’re beset.

The parties in Greece can no longer agree
Which is the best path to follow
Some say they must stick with austerity
Although now that rings pretty hollow.

Others say no, we must chart our own path
Even if that means defaulting
But bankers will act with predictable wrath
Their credit they’ll be assaulting.

No parties can form a strong coalition
No government comes of this stew.
It seems like the Greeks have to make an admission
That no one knows what to do.

If Greece leaves the Euro zone what happens then?
No one knows how the zone will react.
In place of the Euro, they’ll have drachmas again
But their value will surely contract.

The outlook in Greece is really not good
The future looks pretty bleak
All the options are bad and not understood
It’s disheartening now to be Greek.

Monday, May 14, 2012

Loosey Doocy

In a discussion with Stuart Varney about the recent loss of $2 billion by J. P. Morgan Chase,  Fox host Steve Doocy tried to blame the President and his SEC for the debacle.  When Varney demurred, Doocy said   “If he’s the President, he’s the president of the banks, too”, to which Varney, seemingly embarrassed by the stupidity of this remark, replied “Uh no, actually he’s not”. While it’s hard to imagine a more dim- witted comment on the J. P. Morgan mess, it provides a measure of Doocy’s desperation in trying to blame Obama for everything that’s wrong in the world. 

Jamie Dimon, as most would agree,
is the head of Morgan, J.P.
But now it turns out that’s not true:
“Obama’s in charge of banks too”,
Said Fox’s Steven J. Doocy.
‘Though his reasoning’s kind of abstruse, he
Is trying in sheer desperation
To blame all that’s wrong in the nation
On Obama’s poor leadership skills.
No doubt that includes common ills
Like the weather and major earthquakes
And even your migraine headaches.
Now why is Steve so obsessed
With this quest that’s Quixotic at best?
Most likely it’s just because
Of instructions direct from his boss,
Whose “Err and Unbalanced” tales
Are the hallmark of Roger Ailes. 

Sunday, May 13, 2012

We're All Socialists Now

John Stoehr, writing in Al Jezeera English, argues that America is already a socialist country and that both Democrats and Republicans applaud government interventions in our economy.  It just depends on who gets the money: 

No matter what they say about closeted communists in Congress or in the White House, Republicans - even the libertarians - heartily approve of socialism. The question in their view is about which way the money is flowing, up or down. If it's agribusiness or oil corporations getting bucks from federal subsidies, then money is going to the top. Hoorah for socialism. If it's single working mothers getting food stamps and housing credits, then money is going to the bottom. That's a damn government handout - we can't have that.

We are all socialists now
Our government is a cash cow
The only real question,
I get the impression,
Is who gets the money and how.  

Saturday, May 12, 2012

Happy Birthday Edward Lear

Today is the 200th anniversary of the birth of Edward Lear, who wrote mostly nonsensical verse, and remains beloved today for his many limericks, verbal inventions (e.g. the “runcible spoon”), “The Owl and the Pussycat” and many other silly works.  He spent the latter part of his life San Remo, Italy, in a villa called “Villa Tennyson”. 

There once was a man from San Remo
Who made up new words as a game, O
He didn’t write shrilly
In fact he was silly
The nonsensical man from San Remo.

The Death of Satire

Betty Cracker's hilarious post proclaims the collapse of satire and parody, industries totally outdone by the reality of today’s GOP.  A few of the words and lines below were stolen from “Elegy Written in a Country Churchyard”, by Thomas Gray

The curfew tolls the knell of parting day,
When satire was undone and parody
Was likewise brought to total disarray
By inane musings of the GOP.

No irony ameliorates the talk
That daily spews from Rush’s gob,
No humor can be found in Palin’s squawk -
Their only mission is the hatchet job.

No more can one make up fictitious tales
That seek to ridicule and parody
Because our fiction can’t compete and pales
Before the GOP’s insanity.

Now fades the glimmering satires of our day
And all the air holds naught but righteousness,
So overbearing in its noxious way
And bathes our world in droning fractiousness.

The clarion calls of A-holes on the right
No more shall rouse them from their lowly bed
Their heads rest motionless, as if contrite,
Sweet satire, gentle parody … both dead.   

Friday, May 11, 2012

J. P. Morgan Gambles Away $2 Billion

J. P. Morgan, the biggest American bank, disclosed yesterday that it had lost $2 billion dollars in hedging trades similar to the type of activity that brought on the Great Recession of 2008.  The Volker Rule, one of the new regulations to be imposed on financial institutions, forbids banks from making bets with their own money. 

The biggest bank is J. P. Morgan
It’s a hugely complex org, and
Takes your money to play the slots
(They call it hedging) but there’s lots
Of risk for those who play the game
And when the losses come they blame
Some underling within the bank
Who put the comp’ny in the tank.
But actually it seems to me
A ban on gambling there should be
Especially if we have to bail
Out banks that are “to big to fail”.
Reformers who were in the know
Now declare “We told you so”.
So let’s enact the Volker rules
To keep our money safe from fools.

Richard Mourdock, Tea Party Extremist

Richard Mourdock, who won the Indiana Republican Senatorial Primary on Tuesday, defeating long-time Senator Richard Lugar, is a man of rather unconventional (i.e. extreme) views. He seems right at home, however, in the world imagined by Tea Party types. [poetic form: rondel]

Richard Mourdock won today
No longer can he be ignored
His right-wing views have struck a chord
He took Dick Lugar’s seat away

The moderates are in dismay
Their sacred cow has just been gored
Richard Mourdock won today
No longer can he be ignored

Compromise must now give way -
There’s no chance for an accord
Unless the Dems fall on their sword,
Cooperation’s so passé.
Richard Mourdock won today. 

Thursday, May 10, 2012

Obama and Dick Cheney Agree!

Obama’s fully “evolved” view on gay marriage was announced yesterday:  He supports it.  Gay Republicans, however, have taken the President to task for delaying his announcement until after the vote in North Carolina on a constitutional amendment to ban gay marriage (it passed).  They also point out that Obama has “finally come around to the Dick Cheney position on marriage equality.”  Cheney, who has a daughter who is gay, declared his support for gay marriage in 2009.

Obama’s statement put it neatly
And ‘though it might seem kind of zany
He now agrees almost completely
With former Veep Dick Cheney

Obama Supports Gay Marriage!

President Obama on Wednesday declared that he fully supported same-sex marriage.  The announcement came after a long period in which his views on the subject were “evolving”.  The President was under strong pressure to declare his position after Vice-President Joe Biden’s announcement on Meet the Press that he favored the right of gays to get married.  A number of major unions have declared their support of the President's statement on marriage equality. 

Obama announced yesterday
That marriage for gays was OK
His views were to widen
Thanks to Joe Biden
The gays gave their praise right away.

We heard in a statement from Mitt
That gay marriage he wouldn’t permit
He’s not going to change
To him gays seem strange
For marriage they’re simply unfit.

Major unions are having their say
They’re supporting the Pres all the way
Are like you and me
They’re workers with families today.

Prison Inmate Wins 41% of Vote Against Obama

A federal prison inmate, Keith Judd, won 41% of the vote against Barack Obama in the West Virginia Democratic Primary on Tuesday.  Judd won 10 counties in the election.  Race was considered to be an important factor in Judd’s success.

He’s a white man
Who joins the Presidential race.
He’s a white man,
It’s from a prison cell he ran.
How can voters give their embrace
To a felon from such a place?
He’s a white man! 

The Stealth Candidate

Ron Paul’s organization has been quietly putting large numbers of their people in as delegates to the Republican Convention in Tampa, FL.  It’s clear that Romney will be the candidate chosen at the convention, but it’s very unclear what the Paul delegates are after. 

The delegates for Dr. Ron Paul
Are a stealthy, secret cabal
They’re going to revamp-a
Something in Tampa
But just what they won’t tell us at all.

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

VP Advice from John McCain

In a Sunday interview, former Republican presidential candidate John McCain advised Mitt Romney to pick someone he can trust for the Vice-President’s slot, and then added that “the absolute most important aspect” is whether that person “would be well qualified to take that place” [as President].   Then, astonishingly, he said “I happen to believe that was the primary factor in my decision in 2008”. ???....!!!  I think he was being serious.  Sarah Palin brought youth and vitality to a lackluster McCain campaign.  Competence, however, was not one of her assets.  And does anyone really think she’d be on the ticket if she happened to look like Eleanor Roosevelt? 

Now John McCain says Mitt should choose a Veep
Who would be qualified to take his place
In case some terrible event would sweep
Him from this earth in death’s embrace.
Someone competent who’d all agree
A good and gifted President could be.

McCain says that’s exactly how he chose,
When he decided on his running mate.
He knew that Sarah’s youth and vigor shows,
And next to him that she’d look great!
Because of her, McCain’s campaign took root -
But competence was not her strongest suit.

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Rick Endorses Mitt - Sort Of

On Monday, Rick Santorum gave his endorsement to Mitt Romney for President – by email!  If you’re feeling masochistic you can read the full text here Not exactly enthusiastic, he said his major reason for supporting Mitt was to defeat President Obama because “[t]he America we know is being fundamentally changed to look more like a European socialist state than the land of opportunity our founding fathers established.”   He seemed to be impressed with Romney’s view of families as the “basic building block of our society.”

Rick Santorum, former candidate,
Spoke up for Mitt as chief of state.
Warm and friendly it was not -
He sent an email to his lot
That said, I talked alone with Mitt
And he assured me he’d commit
To keeping strong our families,
No gay marriage if you please.
He seemed to be OK
On other issues of the day.
So I will give him my support
Primarily as a last resort:
The most attractive thing he’s got
Is that Obama he is not.

Romney Speaks Out Against Bigotry

The Romney campaign is citing a speech Romney gave last fall as evidence that he can stand up to bigotry by social conservatives.  The bigot in question was Bryan Fischer, who has been a fierce critic of Mormonism and has lately played a role in the resignation of Romney’s gay foreign policy advisor (see The Gay Guy’s Gone).  In the speech, Romney said, “Our values ennoble the citizen, and strengthen the nation. We should remember that decency and civility are values too… One of the speakers who will follow me today, has crossed that line. Poisonous language does not advance our cause.” Too bad Romney has not taken the opportunity to speak out forthrightly against the poisonous language of Rush Limbaugh, Allen West and Ted Nugent. 

Mitt has made a stand
‘Gainst bigots in our land
At least when it’s addressed
Against the LDS
But when it’s Rush or Ted
And something that they said
He’s docile as a lamb
And silent as a clam.

Monday, May 7, 2012

Exit Dick Lugar

Dick Lugar, Republican Senator from Indiana for 6 terms, has compiled a distinguished record of national service.  Nevertheless, he is fighting for his political life in a primary election against Tea Party favorite Richard Mourdock, whom he trails in the polls by double digits.  Mourdock has been endorsed by Sarah Palin, Michelle Bachmann and Rick Santorum.  Although deeply conservative, Lugar is too moderate for today’s GOP.  See also The Elephant’s Graveyard. 

His service couldn’t be longer
His record couldn’t be stronger
But he listens to reason
And that is high treason
To the right he couldn’t be wronger

Sunday, May 6, 2012

Michelle Bachmann's Campaign "Almost Mistake-Free"

Michelle Bachmann maintained in an interview that her campaign was “almost mistake-free”, joking that not knowing Elvis’ birthday or the birthplace of John Wayne were two of the mistakes she made.

The GOP lady Michelle
She says her campaigning was swell
She has what it takes
To make no mistakes
‘Cause the Lord holds her in His spell.

Well, of mistakes there only were two:
The birthdate of Elvis she blew,
And she tried to retain
The birthplace of John Wayne
But it fled from her head on review.

There are many more errors that we could display
Like Obama’s trip costing 2 million a day
Or a child’s retardation
Due to her vaccination
Her “pants-on-fire” rating was highest they say.

Saturday, May 5, 2012

The World According to Mitt

According to David Corn of Mother Jones, “Under Obama, the GOP candidate says, government will 'control half the economy.’ Economic experts rate this scare tactic somewhere between ‘ridiculous’ and ‘stupid.’”

Romney says the federal share
Of our economy will grow to where
More than half of it is due
To policies Obama knew
Would further socialism’s guise
And undermine free enterprise.

But Romney’s facts are kind of shaky
And his analysis is flaky.
Economists say that he’s off base
The numbers don’t bear out his case.
Although it may seem illigit
The facts don’t bother Mitt a bit. 

Friday, May 4, 2012

Ryan Wants America to be More Like Europe

As argued in an article in The Economist, Paul Ryan’s proposal to fund programs like Medicaid by a system of block grants to states would have the effect, over time, of reducing federal support for these programs compared to the present system.  States hit hard by the recession would have difficulty making up the difference and would likely respond by increased taxes, budget cuts or cutting back on the number of Medicaid recipients.  This closely mimics the situation in Europe where austerity measures have further weakened the economies of countries that were already in trouble and threaten the European economy as a whole.  The present role of the federal government in transferring funds from richer to poorer regions in the US helps to smooth out these regional differences.  The Ryan budget would do the opposite and, in effect, Europeanize our economy.    

The Ryan budget plan
Is thought to be American
But its effects will shore up
Trends that make us Europe.