Allen West Defends Obamacare!

Representative Allen West, the troglodyte bomb-thrower of the Republican right, seems to be mellowing a bit.  He’s broken with many of his right-wing colleagues in finding some virtues in Obamacare, namely those features of the law that are the most popular, like keeping children on their parent’s health insurance plans until they reach 26 years of age, banning insurance companies from denying insurance because of pre-existing conditions, and closing the “donut hole” in Medicare’s prescription drug plan.  The problem, of course, is that without the mandate that forces healthy people to buy insurance or pay a fine, many people will only buy insurance when they get sick, driving rates to unsustainable highs.

Republicans think Obamacare’s bad,

They say it’s the worst law that we’ve ever had.

Get rid of it all, repeal it completely.

But now some say, wait, let’s do this discretely

There are a few parts that I like the best,

Says of all people, Representative West,

Let’s save just those parts and get rid of the rest.

There’s just one little problem, one little quirk,

Without the loathed mandate, it just doesn’t work.

Oops! Forgot About that First Amendment.

Republican lawmakers in the NY State Assembly proposed legislation that would forbid anonymous comments on the internet.  Their motivation was to reduce the malicious bullying on the internet that plagues young people today.  Somehow, the lawyers among them didn’t realize that their legislation was unconstitutional and that the first amendment protects anonymous commentary.    

Want to comment on the internet?

Here’s a rule you can’t forget:

Anonymous remarks are banned,

Your name is what they now demand.

To bullying they to put an end meant

But they forgot the first amendment.

The Romney-Trump Connection

Who’d have thought that the political circus geek Donald Trump would become a campaign issue?  Trump has scheduled a fund-raising event  for Romney in Las Vegas and Mitt has given it his blessing, despite The Donald’s born-again birtherism.  Mitt explained himself this way: “You know, I don’t agree with all the people who support me and my guess is they don’t all agree with everything I believe in.” The Republican establishment is aghast at this turn of events:  Peggy Noonan has decried the Romney campaign’s association with the Trump “freak show” and George Will is completely mystified: “The cost of appearing with this bloviating ignoramus is obvious, it seems to me. Donald Trump is redundant evidence that if your net worth is high enough, your IQ can be very low and you can still intrude into American politics.”  Pretty harsh stuff.  Meanwhile, the Obama campaign is undoubtedly giving gleeful high-fives all around.  Every mention of the Trump-Romney axis, or Obama’s birth certificate, distracts voters from the issue the Romney campaign would like to be talking about:  The Economy,Stupid, an appellation which certainly seems apt in this case. 

The Donald’s once again at center stage

Obama’s birth has some folks in a rage

And Trump is shouting out his birther card

‘Though he’s been stung before by this canard.

Mitt Romney thinks the Trump association

Will not affect his campaign’s reputation

But folks might wonder if his mind that crass is

When Mitt hangs out with loud-mouthed asses.

Purge the Democrats!

Republican Florida Governor Rick Scott is attempting to purge voter rolls of “non-citizens”, but the list he has assembled includes many US citizens, particularly among Democratic or Hispanic voters.  Letters have been sent to those on the list informing them that they will be unable to vote in upcoming elections unless they appeal within 30 days.  

Republican Governor Scott

Non-citizen voters has sought

But one of his goals

Is to clean voter rolls

Of Democrat voters a lot.

Fueling Our Military

As detailed in this post by David Roberts from Grist, Republican legislators in the House are doing their best to staunch the use of non-fossil fuels (other than nuclear power) by the military, on the grounds that it costs more than conventional fossil fuels. On the other hand, they are promoting the use of liquid fuels derived from coal by a process that produces 2.5 times as much CO₂ as the use of conventional oil, and is more expensive to boot! 

Our military’s much too strong

To be saddled by a fuel that’s wrong.

And if it’s not a fossil fuel

That runs counter to our rule

And costs more money to employ

So we forbid it to deploy.

But if it’s made from dirty coal

That’s consistent with our goal;

Although it costs more in the end

It’s use we gladly recommend.

The fossil fuel folks give us dough

So we’ll never slow the oil flow.

Trump Loves Mitt....Now

In April, 2011, Donald Trump characterized Mitt Romney’s tenure at Bain as follows:  “He’d buy companies, he’d close companies, he’d get rid of jobs.”  Now, however, as The Donald’s gotten to know The Mitt better, he thinks “he’s a terrific guy”.

The Donald is now rooting for Mitt

But before that he had to admit

Many workers he fired

Before he retired

And the profits he and Bain split.

But now Donald thinks he’s just great

A new story he has to relate

He’s my guy, Donald said,

I once was misled

But now I think he’s first rate!

Runaway Obama Spending? False!

Rex Nutting exposes the myth of runaway federal spending by the Obama administration.  In fact, spending under Obama has been relatively flat, with a 1.4% growth rate, as compared to the rates of growth under Reagan, Bush pere, Clinton, and Bush dubya, which ranged from 3.2% (Clinton I) to 8.7% (Reagan I). 

Obama is spending is like wild-fire

As everyone knows, the predictions are dire.

Now Mitt says he’ll put an end to all that

Trouble is, the spending’s been flat

It’s a myth that the right likes to spread

But as for the evidence, there’s not a shred. 

Bain Blame Game

There’s lots of fussing over Bain

And private gain ‘gainst workers’ pain.

It made Mitt rich.

But does this mean he’s fit to lead

Our country in its hour of need?

That’s Romney’s pitch.

Mitt says that he knows how to make

Our economy at last awake;

He knows the way.

His private sector savoir faire

Will guide his efforts to repair

Our slow decay.

Obama says that’s not the case

The country is a different place.

It’s not a firm.

The President does not make wealth -

To foster people’s welfare and their health

Is his concern.

Mitt says Obama’s inclination

Is character assassination:

They call Mitt evil.

Obama’s folks say it’s fair game

To point out what he did at Bain

Caused great upheaval.

Now some Obama  friends advise

To demonize free enterprise

Is simply lame.

Obama says that Mitt’s main claim

Is to emphasize his role at Bain,

So he’s to blame.

The Conventional Donald

Donald Trump is fishing for a speaking role at the Republican National Convention in Tampa in August.  A Trump spokesman said, ”Mr. Trump’s massive popularity is just one of the many reasons he is being sought as a keynote speaker at the Tampa RNC Convention,”  And The Donald himself tweeted “Hmmm...can you imagine me speaking at the RNC Convention in Tampa? That's a speech everyone would watch.”  You bet.

The Donald says he’d like to speak.

His talk would surely be unique.

He’d doubtless blow his birther horn

And question where the Pres was born.

He’d note our economic slump

But he’d talk more ‘bout Donald Trump. 

Sheriff Joe: Hawaii-Five-0

Two men, showing Maricopa County Sheriff’s Office badges, have appeared at the Hawaii Department of Health offices requesting verification of President Obama’s birth certificate.  The men claim that they were duly authorized by Sheriff Joe Arpiao, “who is conducting an official investigation”, and who is now apparently employing tax-payer funded deputies as an official part of the official investigation. 

The deputies of sheriff Joe Arpaio

Are looking for clues in Hawai-o

The case is complex,

So where to go next?

Well, Kenya’s the best place to try-o.

Obama the Divider

Republican Vice-Presidential prospect Marco Rubio recently declared that Barack Obama  is “one of the most divisive presidents in American history” and that  “we have not seen such a divisive figure in modern American history”.  He’s apparently forgotten that Republicans actually impeached Bill Clinton.  He’s also unaware that George W. Bush holds 6 of the top 10 spots in Gallup’s annual list of the most polarizing Presidents. Even more importantly, he fails to recognize that the divisions in our nation stem in large part from the dishonest language used by Republicans to characterize Obama and his programs, of which Rubio’s comments are just a mild example.   [poetic  form:  Minute Poem]

Obama tears the nation’s heart.

It splits apart

At left-right seams

Into extremes.

The hateful words that make us numb -

They’re coming from

The GOP

Incessantly.

But who’s the Pres that split us most

From coast to coast?

Most folks would push

George Dubya Bush!

Scott Walker and "Radical" Teachers

A conservative group published the salaries of the 321 most highly paid teachers in the Janesville, WI school district.  At the bottom of their flyer was a Parents’ Rights Protection Form, requesting that the parent’s child “be assigned to a classroom taught by a non-radical teacher during the 2012-2013 school year.”  And who were the “radical” teachers?  The flyer helpfully provided a web site to determine which school district employees signed petitions to recall Governor Scott Walker.  Some bloggers found this upsetting.

They’re teaching your kids ev’ry day

But conservatives published their pay

If they signed for recall

You can ask city hall

To take your kids from them today.

Schumer Bill Compared to Nazi Legislation

Senators Chuck Schumer and Bob Casey co-authored a bill that would introduce various tax penalties on those who give up their US citizenship to avoid paying US taxes.  As reported in The Hill, Grover Norquist, president of Americans for Tax Reform, said that

 targeting people that turn in their passports reminded him of regimes that had driven people out of the country, only to confiscate their wealth at the door.

“I think Schumer can probably find the legislation to do this. It existed in Germany in the 1930s and Rhodesia in the ’70s and in South Africa as well,” said Norquist. “He probably just plagiarized it and translated it from the original German.”

The Nazis infamously implemented a departure tax on Jews who tried to flee Germany before World War II. Schumer is Jewish.

  

Chuck Schumer’s wrote a little bill

That seeks to punish those who will

Renounce their US citizenship

to give the IRS the slip.

But Grover Norquist calls the shots, he’s

said the bill’s like those of Nazis,

who punished Jews who left their land.

Now Grover’s used to high command

And so he seems a little mean,

But in this case he’s just obscene. 

It's All Obama's Fault, Continued

Reince Priebus, the  chairman of the Republican National Committee, blamed Obama and the Democrats for forcing Republicans to defend themselves in the light of the a Republican Super PAC proposal to focus its attacks on ties between Obama and the incendiary preacher Jeremiah Wright.  .  “It’s the Democrats and Barack Obama that want the story out there”, Priebus said. Romney has "repudiated” the proposal, as did John McCain in the 2008 election. 

The Chairman of the RNC has said

Obama seeks to throw us off the track

And so he wants to have this story spread

About the GOP’s new bold attack

Upon his former friend - this instead

Of asking why th’economy’s so slack.

If Republicans get blamed for this assault

It’s clear to Reince it’s all Obama’s fault.

Thoughts From a Man of God

The good Pastor Charles Worley has a proposal to “get rid of lesbians and queers” which he offered to his congregation in his Sunday sermon: “ Build a great big large fence, 150 or 100 miles long. Put all the lesbians in there. Fly over and drop some food. Do the same thing with the queers and the homosexuals. Have that fence electrified so they can’t get out. Feed ‘em, and– And you know what? In a few years they’ll die out. You know why? They can’t reproduce.” 

Let’s round up lesbians and queers

And put ‘em behind  a ‘lectric fence

We’ll keep ‘em there for many years

And dying off they’ll soon commense.

And we’ll be off’ring up our cheers

And rid the world of their offence.

The Christian answer to perversion?

This was Pastor Worley’s version.

The Demise of Americans Elect

Americans Elect is a non-partisan, non-profit organization that attempted to use the internet as a means of selecting a third-party candidate for the Presidential election.  Earlier this week, the organization admitted defeat.   “As of this week, no candidate achieved the national support threshold required to enter the Americans Elect online convention in June…The primary process for the Americans Elect nomination has come to an end.”  Perhaps that is just as well, since it seems likely that an Americans Elect candidate would draw more support from Democrats than from Republicans.

Americans Elect

Has failed to select 
Through the internet estate

Their party's candidate,

To give the moderates a voice

And provide another choice.

But the problem with their affair

Is that the people didn’t care.

Mitt: Bipartisan Military Budget Cuts Are Obama's Fault

In an Op Ed piece in the Chicago Tribune, Mitt Romney blamed President Obama for the severe budget cuts the military faces as a result of the “sequester” mechanism that both Republicans and Democrates agreed to in an effort to force a solution to the debt ceiling crisis last summer.  He said that the United States was “on a path to a hollow military.”

“Our military’s getting hollow” -

That’s a little hard to swallow.

We spend more on defense

Than fits with common sense.

The cuts that Mitt decries,

Approved by his allies,

Were part of a big deal,

Admittedly surreal,

To cut the growth of debt,

A deal one can’t forget,

Unless of course you’re Mitt

Who alters things to fit

His story of the day

That when matters go astray

And with discontent are fraught,

It’s all Obama’s fault.

The Birthers Are Back

Arizona Secretary of State Ken Bennett stated in an interview that he was not convinced that President Obama was born and the US and said that it’s “possible” he would keep Obama off the ballot in the Presidential elections in November.  Bennett is planning on running for governor of the state after Governor Jan Brewer’s term comes to an end.

I.

Ken Bennett says he’s not sure

And an answer he must procure

Just where on the earth

Was Obama’s birth?

It’s the right-winger’s question du jour.

II.

Ken Bennett says that he’s in doubt

Obama’s birthplace he’ll check out

And it’s a possibility

That he will issue a decree

To take his name off of the ticket.

Well, that would be the stickiest wicket.

But Ken is duty-bound, he says

T’ensure we have a legal Pres.

He’s a very thorough sleuth -

He’ll ask Hawaii for the truth.

The Hawaiians are getting sick of this

They’ve said before that nought’s amiss

Ken’s risking looking like a chump,

Or what’s worse, like Donald Trump

Why would he raise this point once more

When it’s been done ofttimes before?

Ken Bennett’s reason number one:

For governor he’s going to run.

Souter Dissent on Citizens United Suppressed

A New Yorker article by Jeffrey Toobin on the Supreme Court’s Citizens United decision disclosed that Justice David Souter had filed a strong dissent that “aired some of the Court’s dirty laundry”.  Chief Justice Roberts then slated the case to be "reargued" at a later date, which not only insured that Souter’s dissent would not be published due to his retirement, but dramatically expanded the scope of the questions under consideration for the case.  See Toobin’s article for details. 

Mr. Justice David Souter

Has had enough of the Supremes

He’s been a circumspect straight shooter

But he’s aghast at right-wing schemes.

In the case of Citizens United

He wrote a very strong dissent

It was so strong that it incited

Justice Roberts’ discontent.

So Roberts used a nifty trick

To keep from it the light of day

Since Souter’s such a maverick

I really wish he’d had his say.

He castigated certain justices -

His right-wing colleagues on the court -

No doubt he felt disgust as his

Dissent was then cut short.

                                                                   

See Toobin’s article about

The Citizens United tale -

It gave the wealthy too much clout,

And put our country up for sale.

Romney, the un-McCain

In a story in Politico, a Romney campaign aid promised that the Vice-Presidential candidate will be an “incredibly boring white guy”.   They are trying to avoid the mistakes made by the McCain campaign in 2008, principal among them choosing the exciting, but incredibly incompetent Sarah Palin for the Vice-Presidential slot.  Some of the boring white guys being considered as Romney’s VP have pushed back. 

Mitt Romney won’t be like John McCain

No one exciting will he ordain.

No one like Sarah will share his stage.

The independents they’ll assuage

With someone male and white

And boring too, but awfully bright.

A balanced ticket it is not

A boring white guy’s got top slot,

And with the Veep, then that makes two.

I’ll go to sleep, wouldn’t you?

Mitt: No Questions Please!

Mitt Romney’s campaign has taken extraordinary steps to isolate the candidate from reporters, as detailed in this post from Balloon Juice.

I.

Please keep reporters at bay

Mitt thinks they will lead him astray

They’re full of aggression

And might ask a question

And Mitt will not know what to say.

II.

Please don’t ask questions of Mitt

He’ll probably run off in a snit

Unlike Erik Cantor

He simply can’t banter

So questioning he will omit.

III.

Please don’t expect give and take

It’s a phobia Mitt cannot shake

One of the theories

Why he’s leery of queries

Is his words make him sound like a fake.

IV.

Please keep away from poor Mitt

He’s doesn’t have much of a wit

He’s not very clever

In a verbal endeavor

Spontaneity he won’t permit.

V.

Please don’t accuse Mitt of lying

He’s just continually trying

To say something cool

And he’s nobody’s fool

But the truth he keeps misapplying.

Etch-A-Sketching the Numbers

The Romney campaign, which used to claim that Bain Capital had created 100,000 jobs during Romney’s tenure, has now lowered that estimate to vaguely “thousands”. 

Mitt Romney made a mistake again

About the number of jobs that Bain

Created when he was in charge.

His numbers were too large:

Instead of 100 K

It’s only “thousands” they say

A little mistake

Anyone can make,

Too bad,

Can’t add.
Dumb
Sum.

Herman Cain Endorses Mitt

Herman Cain endorsed Mitt Romney at a sparsely attended press conference at the National  Republican Club today.

Herman Cain is now for Mitt

He’s changed his tune a little bit.

Before he was for Newt

But now that question’s moot.

When asked just what his change involved

He quipped “My endorsement has evolved.”

Debt Ceiling Redux

Coming to a TV near you: a replay of the great debt ceiling debate.  Speaker of the House John Boehner has stated that when the national debt nears its legal limit next January, spending cuts will have to be made that are greater than the debt limit increase.  If you remember, that really worked out well last time.  House Republicans are even now trying to undermine the agreement they made during the last debt ceiling debate.  I suspect there will be no incentive for Republicans to compromise on any of their positions and so the nation will once again be held hostage by the far right wing-nuts in the House. 

The speaker’s primed to say once more

It’s rising debt that he must halt

He’ll hold us hostages encore

Perhaps he’ll lead us to default

This doesn’t seem to bother Boehner

He’s glad to take us to the brink.

There is no posture that’s insaner

You’ve got to wonder what they think.

The sticking point in these debates

Is that no taxes can be raised

That’s what the GOP relates

Is sacrosanct, the Lord be praised.  

No tax increases for the rich

They’re “job creators”, don’t you see

They’ll drive us all into the ditch -

Default would be catastrophe.

But Boehner and his right-wing friends

Are full of fight and we surmise

That, judging by the latest trends,

They’ll not consider compromise.

Why do things have to be this way?

Nothing ever seems to work.

And the reason it’s so bad today?

Republicans have gone berserk.

Two for Ron Paul

Ron Paul announced yesterday that he won't be spending any more money in future state primaries. But does that mean he's "suspending his campaign"?  Apparently not.  He has said that he  “..will continue to take leadership positions, win delegates, and carry a strong message to the Republican National Convention that Liberty is the way of the future." What form that will take at the Republican Convention in Tampa is anybody’s guess.  But one thing is clear, Ron Paul is not going away.

I.

Ron Paul has said that he’s through;

Buying ads his campaign will eschew

But he’s still out there running,

For something he’s gunning

No one knows what at Tampa he’ll do.

II.

Ron Paul allowed as how he’ll stop;

Campaign appearances he will drop.

But that don’t mean that he has quit

There’s no way that he’ll yield to Mitt

And give him now his full support.

He’s on a quest he won’t cut short.

The fans of Paul are very zealous

And that makes Romney very jealous.

Allies of Paul have booed Mitt’s son,

And piled up delegates one by one.

So what’s he got there up his sleeve?

That’s something no one can perceive.

And so to Mitt we’ve got to say

Sorry Dude, Ron’s here to stay.

Greece Agonistes

Greece today seems paralyzed by uncertainty, discord and fear.  

The Greeks said no to Germany’s plan

To make them pay off their debt

When austerity came, a depression began

With poverty now they’re beset.

The parties in Greece can no longer agree

Which is the best path to follow

Some say they must stick with austerity

Although now that rings pretty hollow.

Others say no, we must chart our own path

Even if that means defaulting

But bankers will act with predictable wrath

Their credit they’ll be assaulting.

No parties can form a strong coalition

No government comes of this stew.

It seems like the Greeks have to make an admission

That no one knows what to do.

If Greece leaves the Euro zone what happens then?

No one knows how the zone will react.

In place of the Euro, they’ll have drachmas again

But their value will surely contract.

The outlook in Greece is really not good

The future looks pretty bleak

All the options are bad and not understood

It’s disheartening now to be Greek.

Loosey Doocy

In a discussion with Stuart Varney about the recent loss of $2 billion by J. P. Morgan Chase,  Fox host Steve Doocy tried to blame the President and his SEC for the debacle.  When Varney demurred, Doocy said   “If he’s the President, he’s the president of the banks, too”, to which Varney, seemingly embarrassed by the stupidity of this remark, replied “Uh no, actually he’s not”. While it’s hard to imagine a more dim- witted comment on the J. P. Morgan mess, it provides a measure of Doocy’s desperation in trying to blame Obama for everything that’s wrong in the world. 

Jamie Dimon, as most would agree,

is the head of Morgan, J.P.

But now it turns out that’s not true:

“Obama’s in charge of banks too”,

Said Fox’s Steven J. Doocy.

‘Though his reasoning’s kind of abstruse, he

Is trying in sheer desperation

To blame all that’s wrong in the nation

On Obama’s poor leadership skills.

No doubt that includes common ills

Like the weather and major earthquakes

And even your migraine headaches.

Now why is Steve so obsessed

With this quest that’s Quixotic at best?

Most likely it’s just because

Of instructions direct from his boss,

Whose “Err and Unbalanced” tales

Are the hallmark of Roger Ailes. 

We're All Socialists Now

John Stoehr, writing in Al Jezeera English, argues that America is already a socialist country and that both Democrats and Republicans applaud government interventions in our economy.  It just depends on who gets the money: 

No matter what they say about closeted communists in Congress or in the White House, Republicans - even the libertarians - heartily approve of socialism. The question in their view is about which way the money is flowing, up or down. If it's agribusiness or oil corporations getting bucks from federal subsidies, then money is going to the top. Hoorah for socialism. If it's single working mothers getting food stamps and housing credits, then money is going to the bottom. That's a damn government handout - we can't have that.

We are all socialists now

Our government is a cash cow

The only real question,

I get the impression,

Is who gets the money and how.  

Happy Birthday Edward Lear

Today is the 200^th anniversary of the birth of Edward Lear, who wrote mostly nonsensical verse, and remains beloved today for his many limericks, verbal inventions (e.g. the “runcible spoon”), “The Owl and the Pussycat” and many other silly works.  He spent the latter part of his life San Remo, Italy, in a villa called “Villa Tennyson”. 

There once was a man from San Remo

Who made up new words as a game, O

He didn’t write shrilly

In fact he was silly

The nonsensical man from San Remo.

The Death of Satire

Betty Cracker's hilarious post proclaims the collapse of satire and parody, industries totally outdone by the reality of today’s GOP.  A few of the words and lines below were stolen from “Elegy Written in a Country Churchyard”, by Thomas Gray

The curfew tolls the knell of parting day,

When satire was undone and parody

Was likewise brought to total disarray

By inane musings of the GOP.

No irony ameliorates the talk

That daily spews from Rush’s gob,

No humor can be found in Palin’s squawk -

Their only mission is the hatchet job.

No more can one make up fictitious tales

That seek to ridicule and parody

Because our fiction can’t compete and pales

Before the GOP’s insanity.

Now fades the glimmering satires of our day

And all the air holds naught but righteousness,

So overbearing in its noxious way

And bathes our world in droning fractiousness.

The clarion calls of A-holes on the right

No more shall rouse them from their lowly bed

Their heads rest motionless, as if contrite,

Sweet satire, gentle parody … both dead.   

J. P. Morgan Gambles Away $2 Billion

J. P. Morgan, the biggest American bank, disclosed yesterday that it had lost $2 billion dollars in hedging trades similar to the type of activity that brought on the Great Recession of 2008.  The Volker Rule, one of the new regulations to be imposed on financial institutions, forbids banks from making bets with their own money. 

The biggest bank is J. P. Morgan

It’s a hugely complex org, and

Takes your money to play the slots

(They call it hedging) but there’s lots

Of risk for those who play the game

And when the losses come they blame

Some underling within the bank

Who put the comp’ny in the tank.

But actually it seems to me

A ban on gambling there should be

Especially if we have to bail

Out banks that are “to big to fail”.

Reformers who were in the know

Now declare “We told you so”.

So let’s enact the Volker rules

To keep our money safe from fools.

Richard Mourdock, Tea Party Extremist

Richard Mourdock, who won the Indiana Republican Senatorial Primary on Tuesday, defeating long-time Senator Richard Lugar, is a man of rather unconventional (i.e. extreme) views. He seems right at home, however, in the world imagined by Tea Party types. [poetic form: rondel]

Richard Mourdock won today

No longer can he be ignored

His right-wing views have struck a chord

He took Dick Lugar’s seat away

The moderates are in dismay

Their sacred cow has just been gored

Richard Mourdock won today

No longer can he be ignored

Compromise must now give way -

There’s no chance for an accord

Unless the Dems fall on their sword,

Cooperation’s so passé.

Richard Mourdock won today. 

Obama and Dick Cheney Agree!

Obama’s fully “evolved” view on gay marriage was announced yesterday:  He supports it.  Gay Republicans, however, have taken the President to task for delaying his announcement until after the vote in North Carolina on a constitutional amendment to ban gay marriage (it passed).  They also point out that Obama has “finally come around to the Dick Cheney position on marriage equality.”  Cheney, who has a daughter who is gay, declared his support for gay marriage in 2009.

Obama’s statement put it neatly

And ‘though it might seem kind of zany

He now agrees almost completely

With former Veep Dick Cheney

Obama Supports Gay Marriage!

President Obama on Wednesday declared that he fully supported same-sex marriage.  The announcement came after a long period in which his views on the subject were “evolving”.  The President was under strong pressure to declare his position after Vice-President Joe Biden’s announcement on Meet the Press that he favored the right of gays to get married.  A number of major unions have declared their support of the President's statement on marriage equality. 

Obama announced yesterday

That marriage for gays was OK

His views were to widen

Thanks to Joe Biden

The gays gave their praise right away.

We heard in a statement from Mitt

That gay marriage he wouldn’t permit

He’s not going to change

To him gays seem strange

For marriage they’re simply unfit.

Major unions are having their say

They’re supporting the Pres all the way

The LGBT

Are like you and me

They’re workers with families today.

Prison Inmate Wins 41% of Vote Against Obama

A federal prison inmate, Keith Judd, won 41% of the vote against Barack Obama in the West Virginia Democratic Primary on Tuesday.  Judd won 10 counties in the election.  Race was considered to be an important factor in Judd’s success.

He’s a white man

Who joins the Presidential race.

He’s a white man,

It’s from a prison cell he ran.

How can voters give their embrace

To a felon from such a place?

He’s a white man! 

The Stealth Candidate

Ron Paul’s organization has been quietly putting large numbers of their people in as delegates to the Republican Convention in Tampa, FL.  It’s clear that Romney will be the candidate chosen at the convention, but it’s very unclear what the Paul delegates are after. 

The delegates for Dr. Ron Paul

Are a stealthy, secret cabal

They’re going to revamp-a

Something in Tampa

But just what they won’t tell us at all.

VP Advice from John McCain

In a Sunday interview, former Republican presidential candidate John McCain advised Mitt Romney to pick someone he can trust for the Vice-President’s slot, and then added that “the absolute most important aspect” is whether that person “would be well qualified to take that place” [as President].   Then, astonishingly, he said “I happen to believe that was the primary factor in my decision in 2008”. ???....!!!  I think he was being serious.  Sarah Palin brought youth and vitality to a lackluster McCain campaign.  Competence, however, was not one of her assets.  And does anyone really think she’d be on the ticket if she happened to look like Eleanor Roosevelt? 

Now John McCain says Mitt should choose a Veep

Who would be qualified to take his place

In case some terrible event would sweep

Him from this earth in death’s embrace.

Someone competent who’d all agree

A good and gifted President could be.

McCain says that’s exactly how he chose,

When he decided on his running mate.

He knew that Sarah’s youth and vigor shows,

And next to him that she’d look great!

Because of her, McCain’s campaign took root -

But competence was not her strongest suit.

Rick Endorses Mitt - Sort Of

On Monday, Rick Santorum gave his endorsement to Mitt Romney for President – by email!  If you’re feeling masochistic you can read the full text here.  Not exactly enthusiastic, he said his major reason for supporting Mitt was to defeat President Obama because “[t]he America we know is being fundamentally changed to look more like a European socialist state than the land of opportunity our founding fathers established.”   He seemed to be impressed with Romney’s view of families as the “basic building block of our society.”

Rick Santorum, former candidate,

Spoke up for Mitt as chief of state.

Warm and friendly it was not -

He sent an email to his lot

That said, I talked alone with Mitt

And he assured me he’d commit

To keeping strong our families,

No gay marriage if you please.

He seemed to be OK

On other issues of the day.

So I will give him my support

Primarily as a last resort:

The most attractive thing he’s got

Is that Obama he is not.

Romney Speaks Out Against Bigotry

The Romney campaign is citing a speech Romney gave last fall as evidence that he can stand up to bigotry by social conservatives.  The bigot in question was Bryan Fischer, who has been a fierce critic of Mormonism and has lately played a role in the resignation of Romney’s gay foreign policy advisor (see The Gay Guy’s Gone).  In the speech, Romney said, “Our values ennoble the citizen, and strengthen the nation. We should remember that decency and civility are values too… One of the speakers who will follow me today, has crossed that line. Poisonous language does not advance our cause.” Too bad Romney has not taken the opportunity to speak out forthrightly against the poisonous language of Rush Limbaugh, Allen West and Ted Nugent. 

Mitt has made a stand

‘Gainst bigots in our land

At least when it’s addressed

Against the LDS

But when it’s Rush or Ted

And something that they said

He’s docile as a lamb

And silent as a clam.

Exit Dick Lugar

Dick Lugar, Republican Senator from Indiana for 6 terms, has compiled a distinguished record of national service.  Nevertheless, he is fighting for his political life in a primary election against Tea Party favorite Richard Mourdock, whom he trails in the polls by double digits.  Mourdock has been endorsed by Sarah Palin, Michelle Bachmann and Rick Santorum.  Although deeply conservative, Lugar is too moderate for today’s GOP.  See also The Elephant’s Graveyard. 

His service couldn’t be longer

His record couldn’t be stronger

But he listens to reason

And that is high treason

To the right he couldn’t be wronger

Michelle Bachmann's Campaign "Almost Mistake-Free"

Michelle Bachmann maintained in an interview that her campaign was “almost mistake-free”, joking that not knowing Elvis’ birthday or the birthplace of John Wayne were two of the mistakes she made.

The GOP lady Michelle

She says her campaigning was swell

She has what it takes

To make no mistakes

‘Cause the Lord holds her in His spell.

Well, of mistakes there only were two:

The birthdate of Elvis she blew,

And she tried to retain

The birthplace of John Wayne

But it fled from her head on review.

There are many more errors that we could display

Like Obama’s trip costing 2 million a day

Or a child’s retardation

Due to her vaccination

Her “pants-on-fire” rating was highest they say.

The World According to Mitt

According to David Corn of Mother Jones, “Under Obama, the GOP candidate says, government will 'control half the economy.’ Economic experts rate this scare tactic somewhere between ‘ridiculous’ and ‘stupid.’”

Romney says the federal share

Of our economy will grow to where

More than half of it is due

To policies Obama knew

Would further socialism’s guise

And undermine free enterprise.

But Romney’s facts are kind of shaky

And his analysis is flaky.

Economists say that he’s off base

The numbers don’t bear out his case.

Although it may seem illigit

The facts don’t bother Mitt a bit.