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Three on Mitt

1.

Mitt Romney says this about Jeep:

US jobs the Chinese will soon reap.

Although it’s a lie it

Might scare some to buy it.

As campaigner, Mitt Romney’s a creep.

2.

Mitt Romney possesses no shame

His campaign’s been a sketchy shell game

He’d say anything

If a vote it would bring

He gives poli-tics a bad name.

3. 

I hope after Tuesday we’ll see

No more of Mitt’s face on TV

I hope he’ll live on

In oblivion

And of Mittens we’ll finally be free.

Chris Christie Tells It Like It Is

Several days ago, Chris Christie, Governor of New Jersey and the one-time darling of the right, did what he does best:  He said exactly what he thinks. He heaped praise on President Obama for his efforts in promoting recovery from the devastating effects of hurricane Sandy on New Jersey.   Later, when asked by Fox News whether he’d invite Mitt Romney to tour the worse-areas of the state, he delivered a pretty firm dressing-down to the folks at Fox:

  “I have no idea, nor am I the least bit concerned or interested. I have a job to do here in New Jersey that is much bigger than presidential politics. And I could care less about any of that stuff. I have a job to do. I’ve got 2.4 million people out of power. I’ve got devastation on the shore. I’ve got floods in the Northern parts of my state. If you think right now I give a damn about presidential politics, then you don’t know me.”

This of course has not endeared him to fellow Republicans, but that’s the trouble when you deal with someone who says what he thinks. 

Chris Christie says the Pres is great

He’s helped recovery in his state.

When asked to pose with Mitt a spell

He told Fox News to go to hell.

His words once filled the right with fire

He’s now a GOP pariah. 

New Sununu News

In response to Colin Powell's endorsement of Barack Obama, Romney aide John Sununu suggested that there might be reasons other than "the issues" for the endorsement.  He elaborated, “Well, I think when you have somebody of your own race that you’re proud of being president of the United States, I applaud Colin for standing with him.”

Colin Powell is supporting Barack.
He thinks Mitt has gotten off track.
But Sununu let fly
"That's not really why,
It's only because they're both black."

God's Will

In last night’s Indiana Senatorial campaign debate, Republican Richard Mourdock proclaimed

"The only exception I have to have an abortion is in the case of the life of the mother… I struggled with it myself for a long time, but I came to realize life is that gift from God. I think that even when life begins in that horrible situation of rape, that it is something that God intended to happen."

Romney has distanced himself from this remark but continues to support Mourdock. 

If you get pregnant from a rape

For you there’s really no escape

God’s planned this gift of life for you

There’s really nothing you can do

Abortion’s not to be considered

Accept God’s gift – don’t be embittered -

Instead, you should be overawed

Don’t try to thwart the will of God.

That’s what Mourdock has explained

He thinks knows what God’s ordained

Beware the moral he’d instill:

A woman’s pain is just God’s will. 

Mild-Mannered Mitt

In the debate last night, a new Mitt Romney was on display - a mild-mannered fellow who seemed to agree with the President on most foreign policy issues and who repudiated many of his previous statements. 

Yes, Mr. President, I agree
You're doing it right, it seems to me.
Let's bring the troops home, as fast as we can,
Let's get them all out of Afghanistan.
In most of your policies, I'm with you,
But I'm closer than you to Netanyahu.

It's a brand new Mitt, his views have adjusted -
But in the end, he's not to be trusted.

Mitt's Muddle

The third and last debate’s tonight.

Both candidates are set to fight.

The subject’s foreign policy

And Mitt will try to make us see

Obama’s policies are weak,

Our country’s future’s looking bleak,

Although he’s absolutely no intent

To say what he’d do different. 

Romnesia

Some folks think that Mitt's insincere
That his pledges are too cavalier.
"No one knows what I think",
He says with a wink,
"I just tell them what they want to hear."

Hofstra Hopes

I'm nervous as can be
Tonight's a BFD.
Obama: Will he rise
And counter Romney's lies
Or will he let them go
And not let people know?
Which Mitt will he debate -
The Ol' Mass Moder-ate
Or right wing-nut severe
Who would, I greatly fear,
Take money from the poor
So that rich folks can have more?
There's much at stake tonight.
I pray Barack will fight!

Fiscal Magic

The Romney tax plan envisions cutting everyone’s marginal tax rates by 20% while remaining revenue neutral by eliminating unspecified tax expenditures (i.e. loopholes).  The tax policy center has concluded that, for the rich, there are not enough tax expenditures to be eliminated that would pay for their tax cuts and as a consequence, tax rates would have to increase for middle class taxpayers to remain revenue neutral.  The Romney campaign has responded that six independent studies have confirmed the validity of their numbers.  But an examination of the six studies cited show that most were blog posts or op ed articles by persons sympathetic to the Romney campaign.  Even these studies don’t support Romney’s numbers unless magical levels of economic growth are put into the equations,

The other guys always contend

We make claims that we cannot defend

But six separate studies

Carried out by our buddies

Show magic trumps math in the end.

The Veep Debate

It seemed to be Joe Biden’s night

But Ryan put up quite a fight

He didn’t act like he was scared

And he came very well prepared.

But Joe’s an overwhelming force,

He overdid some things of course,

He smiled, he laughed, he interrupted

Paul Ryan’s statements he disrupted.

He snickered hard and gently chuckled

He hoped Paul’s thoughts would come unbuckled.

He seemed to get a little snarky

When he said “That’s just malarkey”

What was the aim of his attacks? -

Paul Ryan’s twisting of the facts.

Joe really gave the Dems a lift

That was his most important gift.  

The Two-Hour Flip-Flop

From the Daily Kos:

Mitt Romney yesterday:
There’s no legislation with regards to abortion that I’m familiar with that would become part of my agenda.

His campaign two hours later:
Governor Romney would of course support legislation aimed at providing greater protections for life.

Today I’m feeling moderate

Let’s let abortion be

Although some may be obdurate

It don’t mean much to me.

But now some folks have come to say

We can’t waste any time

It must be ended right away

Abortion is a crime.

Abortion’s got to end, in brief.

It’s brought us so much sorrow.

This is now my firm belief

At least until tomorrow.

What is to be done?

Obama needs to start anew

His debate performance was a shame

His crew should tell him what to do

To get back in the game.

He’s got to look Mitt in the eyes

And parry each outrageous claim

By pointing out Mitt’s many lies

To get back in the game.

He must get up for this event

His fighting edge he must regain.

He should act like he’s the President

And get back in the game!

Obama con brio

Mitt Romney delivered his much-ballyhooed speech on foreign policy yesterday.  His talk dealt mostly with Middle Eastern affairs and the policies he advocated sounded very much like those the Obama administration is already carrying out, but with a more hawkish tone.  

Here’s what Mitt seemed to say

About foreign affairs yesterday

“Where Obama’s been mawkish

I’ll be more hawkish

But I’ll handle things much the same way”.

Romney Nouveau

The day after the big debate last week, President Obama referred to “this spirited fellow claiming to be Mitt Romney”, who had turned his back on many of his most conservative positions.  As David Gergen on CNN acknowledged, Romney was “sort of flat out lying” in many of his statements. 

A new Mitt Romney has appeared

He used to be a bore.

This new guy’s full of energy.

Just where was he before?

As one-time governor of Mass

He trod a moderate path

But he could not go on that way

He’d face right-winger’s wrath

And so he swung far to the right

To gain his party’s nod

And all his previous declarations

Seemed now to be quite odd

His conservatism was severe

It didn’t show a crack

But in Wednesday night’s debate last week

Th’old moderate was back:

Obamacare was not all bad

Some parts he could condone

And if his tax cuts were too big

Well, they weren’t set in stone.

And education he’d not cut,

At least that’s not his plan.

Where did this new guy come from?

He’s like a different man.

But one thing’s more or less the same,

One trait that still applies:

The grin that’s set upon his face

While telling whopping lies.

There’s nothing new in all of this

Mitt Romnies come and go

It’s just the same old smoke and mirrors in

This latest Mitt nouveau. 

The Big Bird Hunt

Mitt Romney declared in Wednesday night’s debate that he would cut off  federal funding for PBS even though he “liked Big Bird.”  Rick Santorum chimed in with the following lame joke:  “I’ve voted to kill Big Bird in the past. So, I have a record there that I have to disclose.That doesn’t mean I don’t like Big Bird. I mean, you can kill things and still like them, maybe to eat them, I don’t know.”

They’re all dressed up in their hunting gear

They’re going to bag The Bird this year

“Now I’m a Catholic deer-hunter” , says Ryan

“If I have my way, Big Bird will be dyin’.”

“And I’m a proud Mormon,” whispers Mitt,

“Although I don’t like to talk about it.

There’s just one thing I gotta say,

That Bird is done for, he’s had his day.”

So Mitt and Paul are out searching the field,

Their guns at the ready, the’ve got their eyes peeled

For something that’s big and yellow and cute

Although they might like him, they’ve still got to shoot.

From off in the bushes there came a great clatter,

They looked at each other:  “Whatever’s the matter?”

A sudden great blast of fire filled the air

And buckshot was streaming everywhere.

The bushes were parted and before them he stands

Dick Cheney, his gun still hot in his hands.

“Oh Jesus, it’s you!” and his legs turned to jello

“I thought it was Big Bird, I thought I saw yellow!”

Debate Tonight!

According to recent reports, Mitt Romney has been memorizing a series of “zingers” to be employed in his debate with Barack Obama tonight. 

Mitt has memorized everything

He will need for this even-ing

Barack will by shocked

And off his block knocked

Mitt’s words will be packed full of zing.

But Obama is really quite cool

He doesn’t get riled as a rule

Mitt’s zingers will fly

Harmlessly by

Obama is nobody’s fool. 

There’ll be plenty of speeches, as such

But the words won’t reach out and touch

With so much at stake,

Can’t afford a mistake,

So neither of them will say much.

Mitt's Big Day

Will Romney be ready for Wednesday's debate?
He's better be or else it will seal his fate.
He's got to be strong and go on the attack
He can't be a sissy- Hold nothing back!
And yet … and yet, he must still show respect
It's what folks in TV-land have come to expect
He can't make stuff up, let the truth be his guide
The fact-checkers will catch him if it turns out he lied.
But really the most difficult thing he must do
Is all the above and act natural too!

Problems...

Due to continuing medical problems, I'll no longer be able to post a poem a day.  I'll still post poems from time to time, but at a reduced frequency.  Please stay tuned.

         Doggerelo

Everyone Loves a Winner

Donations to Priorities USA Action, President Obama’s Super Pac, have increased sharply in the last few weeks.  It seems likely that this is related to Mr. Obama’s recent rise in the polls.  Some folks clearly like being associated with a winning ticket. 

Contributions to him have been slack

But Obama’s now on the right track

And the rich want to go

With a winner and so

They throw dough at his Super Pac. 

Let Ryan be Ryan

Conservative leaders feel that Romney’s campaign would be enhanced if only Paul Ryan were "unleashed" and allowed to be himself. 

Let Ryan be Ryan the conservatives cry
Go rogue, Paul, cries Sarah - let the sh*t fly
Whatever he says just couldn't be worse
Than Mitt's dull recital of chapter and verse.
But Ryan unleashed could be pretty upsetting
To old folks whose Medicare plans he'd be vetting
And Medicaid, Social Security too
Paul Ryan's got plans for me and for you
Aside from throwing the right wing red meat
Paul's words would be likely to bring him defeat.
So for the ticket perhaps it'd be wise
And keep Paul Ryan immersed in disguise.

Postscript:

Let Romney be Romney, no one's said that yet
Maybe because they don't know what they'd get

Bibi Avoidance

President Obama gave a speech at the United Nations today, in which he condemned both religious intolerance and the violence that sometimes results from that intolerance.  However, he did not set aside time to meet individually with any of the world leaders that were present for the event.  This is a departure from past practice, but may be seen as an effort to avoid any controversy on foreign affairs during his election campaign.  I think he may also have wanted to avoid giving Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu a platform for influencing the election in favor of Mitt Romney. 

Obama spoke at the UN.
He lobbied for peace among men.
But he wouldn't meet one-on-one
With leaders who might have begun
To raise sticky issues that might
Put Obama in a bad light.
He won't give Bibi a chance
To make news at Obama's expense
And tilt the election a bit
To favor his good friend Mitt.

Roller Pollsters

Recent polls in the state of Ohio give President Obama a 5 percentage point lead over Governor Romney.  Ohio is generally considered to be a “must win” state for the Republican Presidential campaign. 

Ohio's a state where life swings,
It can go either way with some things.
But Mitt's got to concede
Barack's in the lead.
Ohio's where the fat lady sings

Go Rogue, Mitt

Sarah Palin’s advice to Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan is to “go rogue” because, in her view, America is at a “come to Jesus” moment and needs straight talk about the economy.

Go rogue Mitt, go rogue
If you want to be the Pres
Listen to what Sarah says
You've got to put aside those blinders
You shouldn't listen to your minders
Take your advice from me
Forget about the GOP.

Go rogue Mitt, go rogue
Your campaign so far's been really dumb
'Cause your real feelings you keep mum
It's a "come to Jesus" time
Silence now would be a crime
Don't hold back no more
Let people know the score.

Go rogue Mitt, go rogue.

Th'economy is really bleak
Why don't you rise up and speak?
Perhaps you're just a hollow man,
You haven't really got a plan...

Although it's not in vogue

Go rogue Mitt, go rogue.

Mitt Donates Big Bucks to IRS

Mitt Romney released his 2011 tax records on Friday.  He paid an effective tax rate of 14.1%, but this was substantially higher than the 9.6% rate he would have paid if he had claimed all the deductions he was entitled to.  Thus, Mitt donated a substantial sum of money to the IRS in order to fulfill his statement that he has  spent at least 13% of his income in federal income taxes in each of the last 10 years. 

This year Mitt made a lot of dough
But what's he paid in taxes though?
He gave a lot to charity,
That's a Mormon verity.
He's generous to the gov'ment too,
Dismissed what he's entitled to.
He lost a lot of cash to get
His tax rate to 14 percent.

Voter ID Law Only Disenfranchises Lazy Voters

Pennsylvania State Representative Daryl Metcalfe, the original sponsor of Pennsylvania’s strict voter ID law, said today that only people too lazy to be bothered to get their photo ID would be disenfranchised by the measure.  He included in this group the 47% of the population that don’t pay income taxes, as highlighted by Mitt Romney’s comments at a fundraiser in May.  When asked whether legitimate voters would be disenfranchised by the law, Metcalfe responded:

I don’t believe any legitimate voter that actually wants to exercise that right and takes on the according responsiblity that goes with that right to secure their photo ID will be disenfranchised. As Mitt Romney said, 47% of the people that are living off the public dole, living off their neighbors’ hard work, and we have a lot of people out there that are too lazy to get up and get out there and get the ID they need. If individuals are too lazy, the state can’t fix that.

Some folks are too lazy to get

A voter ID that would let

Them vote for whoever they choose

And yet it is us they accuse

Of having a hand in promoting

The suppression of Democrat voting.

This is what Metcalfe said -

There’s something wrong with his head

He must a little bit crazy

If he thinks poor folks are just lazy

How does he come up with this shit?

I’ll bet it started with Mitt.

Chair Lynched in Austin

In Austin, that bastion of Texas liberalism, a homeowner hung an empty chair from a tree branch in his yard.  He was a previous winner of the “Yard of the Month” award from a homeowners association.  When asked about the none-too subtle implication the President Obama should be lynched, the homeowner replied , "I don't really give a damn whether it disturbs you or not. You can take [your concerns] and go straight to hell and take Obama with you. I don't give a shit. If you don't like it, don't come down my street."

Let’s string up an empty chair

I know it’s racist – I don’t care

My speech in this here country’s free

So I can say what pleases me

And if some take it the “wrong” way

That’s exactly what I mean to say. 

Nervous Nellie Noonan

Peggy Noonan, once a speechwriter for Ronald Reagan and now a conservative columnist for the Wall Street Journal, vented her considserable frustration with Mitt Romney in a blog post on Tuesday following the “47%” debacle.  Among a great many other things, she said, “It’s time to admit the Romney campaign is an incompetent one. It’s not big, it’s not brave, it’s not thoughtfully tackling great issues. It’s always been too small for the moment.” She had this advice for the candidate: “Be serious and fight. If you’re gonna lose, lose honorably. If you’re gonna win do it with meaning.”  Romney’s response so far has not been encouraging to those on the right.

A visibly upset Peggy Noonan

With Mitt has been importunin’ -

Clean up your act and start croonin’

A song with a different tune, an’

Quit the distasteful impugnin’

Of poor folks who aren’t like you an’

weren’t born with a silver spoon in

Their mouths. Stop acting jejune an’

Come out of your rich guy’s cocoon an’

With regular folks start communin’.

If I were Mitt I would tune in

And listen to Ms. Peggy Noonan.  

What Mitt Really Thinks

The Obama campaign need not expend further effort in depicting Mitt Romney as an out-of-touch, arrogant, pitiless rich guy, because Mitt himself has done this far more effectively in his remarks at a fund-raising event last May. His comments, given in a relaxed, very comfortable manner, were captured on a secretly-recorded video released by the liberal magazine Mother Jones.  In case you have just returned from outer space, here is part of what he said,

There are 47 percent of the people who will vote for the president no matter what. All right, there are 47 percent who are with him, who are dependent upon government, who believe that they are victims, who believe the government has a responsibility to care for them, who believe that they are entitled to health care, to food, to housing, to you-name-it. That that's an entitlement. And the government should give it to them. And they will vote for this president no matter what…These are people who pay no income tax.

Mitt Romney, when he relaxes,

Says half of us don’t pay taxes

“Their votes they will cast

For Obama en masse

I’m sorry but that’s what the facts is.

“They’re about forty-seven percent

Who depend on the government

They are wards of the state

And they think that’s just great.

To our plans they will never consent.

“They never will vote for me

Because they will never agree

To stop being a moocher,

Get a job with a future

And start living responsibly.”

Mitt Romney’s dissed half of the nation

His words have caused great consternation

He said what he thinks

But what he thinks stinks

His campaign’s nearing disintegration.

The Blame Falls Mainly On...

Even Jennifer Rubin, Romney’s most egregiously stalwart supporter, is finding fault with the Romney campaign, although not with Romney himself.  Nevertheless, she joins the chorus of voices from the right who are saying that something is terribly wrong and that change is needed.  

The Romney campaign is taking some heat

The right-wingers think that he’s set for defeat

It’s a food fight that happens within their own ranks

To find who to blame as their whole campaign tanks

Some say it’s the press - they’re biased you know,

Some say it’s the polls and what they don’t show

Some say it’s his manager, he’s so inept,

But there’s just one thing they find hard to accept

That it’s Romney himself that’s mostly to blame

His shape-shifting views are like a shell game

‘Though he tries to adjust, he can’t be who he’s not

The voters respect he just hasn’t got.

Obama Drama

In foreign affairs, Obama is constantly pictured as weak, apologetic and pusillanimous by Mitt Romney and the rest of the Republican right.  But when Obama acts otherwise, as in his blunt telephone call to Egyptian President Mohamed Morsi last week, it’s never acknowledged by his detractors. 

They say that Obama is weak

That his foreign policy's meek

But he dressed Morsi down

So that he came around:

Morsi’s coursi changed quickly last week.

Vacation Time in Washington

Republican House Majority Leader Eric Cantor announced on Friday that the House will stand in recess until November 13.  This leaves a large number of important bills, not to mention possible action on the looming “fiscal cliff”, in legislative limbo.  Perhaps the election will serve to focus their attention on what Representatives need to do the fulfill the minimum requirements of their job description. 

Congress has a lot to do -

So what is this world coming to

When legislation’s cast aside

And representatives decide

That rather than work for our nation

It’s time for a 2-month vacation?

Mitt's End Begins

On returning from vacation, I was greeted by the spectacle of Mitt Romney committing political suicide by attacking Obama’s foreign policy, in the most personal terms, during an ongoing crisis involving the murder of the American ambassador to Libya and three embassy co-workers by Muslim extremists. Talk about tone deaf. The polls show Obama surging into strong leads nationwide and, most importantly, in the battleground states of Virginia, Florida and Ohio, which the Romney team must win to have any chance of gaining the White House.

Mitt Romney’s future’s looking grim:

He climbed way out upon a limb

And claimed Obama is so weak

He apologized to those who seek

To harm our people overseas -

His tendency is to appease.

But he misjudged the nation’s mood

And looks a little bit unglued;

A selfish point he tried to make

With tragedy and death at stake.

The leaders of the GOP

Are wondering how Mitt could be,

With such an issue to exploit,

So blundering and maladroit.

The recent polls have shown quite clearly

Mitt’s mistakes have cost him dearly

In Florida, Ohio too,

The numbers say Mitt might be through -

He can’t afford to lose these states

His mission’s now in dire straits.

What can he do to turn around

his numbers in a sharp rebound?

To keep his polls from heading south

He must be sure to shut his mouth

Or any statement he might make

Could be another bad mistake.

His hopes it seems would largely rest

On qualities that are his best -

He’ll hope that voters will embrace

His splendid hair and pretty face.

A Woman Scorned

I’ll be taking a break for a couple of weeks, but while I’m gone, here are some of Doggerelo’s greatest hits, in case you missed them first time around. 

Sunday, April 15, 2012

Scandal dogged the President’s South American trip, as 12 secret service agents assigned to protecting the President were sent home on charges relating to soliciting sex from local prostitutes.  Apparently one of the agents did not pay for services rendered, leading to a complaint from the woman involved. 

A secret service bro’

Solicited sex from a pro

Her pay he retained

So she loudly complained

His service ain’t secret no mo’.

Jewish Socialism

I’ll be taking a break for a couple of weeks, but while I’m gone, here are some of Doggerelo’s greatest hits, in case you missed them first time around. 

Saturday, March 17, 2012

It turns out, not surprisingly, that Sandra Fluke, the object (slut! prostitute!) of Rush Limbaugh’s ravings about her Congressional testimony on birth control, has a boyfriend, Adam Mutterperl.  Brooks Bayne has written an anti-Semitic screed that focuses on the relationship between Mutterperl’s family  and “the typical Jewish variant of socialism”.  The words “Jew” or “Jewish” appear 18 times in Bayne's article – get the point?

Ms. Fluke’s got a boyfriend, and wouldn’t you know,

He’s from a rich family, but that is not all,

The family is Jewish! My God, what a blow!

They’re linked to several Jews that appall

Like Louis Brandeis, a secular Jew

And socialist once on our highest Court,

And the Jewish eponymous Brandeis U.

Which foments neo-Marxist support.

The boyfriend’s parents, Nancy and Bill,

Are the very worst kind of activist types,

They promote “social justice” a code to instill

Marxist programs of various stripes.

Our media haven’t discussed this at all,

But Brooks Bayne, some think, has plenty of guts

To expose this Jewish-Marxist cabal,

But more likely it's true that he’s simply a putz.

Life in Arizona

I’ll be taking a break for a couple of weeks, but while I’m gone, here are some of Doggerelo’s greatest hits, in case you missed them first time around. 

Friday, March 16, 2012

The Judiciary Committee of the Arizona State Legislature endorsed a bill that “would permit employers to ask their employees for proof of medical prescription if they seek contraceptives for non-reproductive purposes, such as hormone control or acne treatment.” The author of the bill, Republican Debbie Resko, said, without a trace of irony, “I believe we live in America. We don’t live in the Soviet Union... So, government should not be telling the organizations or mom and pop employers to do something against their moral beliefs.” 

If you're taking the pill it's OK

For your boss to approach you one day

To prove and rebut

That you’re not a slut

And his moral misgivings allay. 

Rush Limbaugh and the Axe

I’ll be taking a break for a couple of weeks, but while I’m gone, here are some of Doggerelo’s greatest hits, in case you missed them first time around. 

Friday, March 9, 2012

Fox News commentator Eric Bolling suggested that the whole Sandra Fluke/Rush Limbaugh controversy had been orchestrated by the White House.

George Frownley took a last drag on his Camel and tossed the butt into the gutter.  Axe would be waiting for him in the garage. An acid burble rose from his gut – he was always nervous when he had to meet Axe.  He needed a drink, but it was only 10:30 in the morning and Axe would definitely not approve.   He grimaced and crossed Michigan Avenue to the parking garage.   He spotted Axe’s car, a beat-up purple Prius, right where he said it would be, in space 203 on the Orange level.  He took out the keys Axe had sent him and drove down to the Blue level and parked close to the stairwell.  A guy with a cane, dark glasses and a straw Trilby hat limped over to the car.  George didn’t recognize him at first but the mustache was a giveaway – it was Axe, in a disguise George hadn’t seen before.

“Go down to the Red level,” barked Axe, “and park in space 557”. 

“Good work with Sandra”, he said after they had parked.

“Yeah, she was perfect for the part.”  George was impressed that she seemed so wholesome, although Axe had warned him that she was just a slut, a common prostitute.  “We had to go over her testimony several times, but after slipping a couple C-notes into her bra, she caught on. The whole set-up was beautiful, Axe.  How did you know they wouldn’t let her testify? And then the Pelosi thing – it was great.”

“Planning, George…nothing left to chance.”

“I listened to Rush that afternoon.  I couldn’t believe that he walked right into the trap.  He really outdid himself this time, calling her a slut, telling her to make tapes of herself having sex.  I was afraid it was just way too much and Romney and the rest would have to call him out for it.”

“Naah, I know these guys, George.  If they put all their balls together, they couldn’t make enough testosterone for a single hard-on.  They’re so scared of Rush that if he said ‘shit’ they’d fill up their pants in 30 seconds.  Romney with his ‘not language I would have used’ – Jeez, what a wuss!  So now we got ‘em – you know, if they can’t stand up to Rush Limbaugh, how’re they gonna do against Ahmadinejad.  We’re gonna tag them with that for the rest of the campaign.”

“Well, it was a great operation, Axe.  Congratulations.”

“You played your part well, George.  Sandra was completely believable. “  Axe took out an envelope and handed it to me. “This is for her.  She’s working at a porn shop over on Hubbard.”

“I’m still puzzled about Limbaugh, though.  He was so over the top.  It doesn’t make much sense.  And yet the whole operation hinged on him doin’ what he did.  How could you be sure he’d run off the cliff like that?”

“Like I said, George – leave nothing to chance.”

“Wait…I don’t understand.  You mean…?”

“Yep, Rush is our guy.  We’ve been grooming him for years.  He’ll do anything for Viagra.  Wait 'til you see what he’s gonna say about Hillary - but that won’t be ‘til the fall.”     

Sonnet for Sandra

I’ll be taking a break for a couple of weeks, but while I’m gone, here are some of Doggerelo’s greatest hits, in case you missed them first time around. 

Saturday, March 3, 2012

Sandra Fluke, a law student at Georgetown University, was not permitted to testify before Darrell Issa’s committee investigating government intrusion into religious freedom, an issue that has focused on the issue of insurance-provided birth control.  In her testimony, presented at a hearing called by Nancy Pelosi, she stated that the absence of free birth control would pose a financial hardship to female students. The right, in the form of Rush Limbaugh and Craig Bannister, responded by calling her a “sex-crazed coed” and “a slut…a prostitute”, among other epithets. These guys are a disgrace to whatever profession they claim to be representing.   

A female student of the law had asked

To testify to Issa’s group who sought

To bring out reasons why Obama ought

To change the regulations he had passed.

But to the student they said “Not so fast!

We want no women here.”  And so she brought

Her view that contraception costs a lot

To Ms. Pelosi’s meeting at long last.

The right wing pundits now respond with names

More fit for locker rooms than for debate.

They called her “sex-crazed”, “prostitute” and “slut”

They’re not a bit ashamed that this defames

A young and thoughtful woman. They create

Malignant hate with their destructive smut.

Don't Euthanize Me!

I’ll be taking a break for a couple of weeks, but while I’m gone, here are some of Doggerelo’s greatest hits, in case you missed them first time around. 

Monday, February 27, 2012

In the Netherlands, doctor-assisted euthanasia, if requested by the patient, was legalized in 2002.  Recently, Presidential candidate Rick Santorum made the following comments on this issue:

“They have voluntary euthanasia in the Netherlands, but half the people who are euthanized every year, and it’s 10 percent of all deaths, half of those people are euthanized involuntarily in hospitals, because they are older and sick…So elderly people in the Netherlands don’t go to the hospital. They go to another country. Because they’re afraid because of budget purposes they will not come out of that hospital if they go in with sickness.” Santorum also said some Dutch wear bracelets saying, “Don’t euthanize me.”

Each of these statements has been sharply disputed or shown to be false.

I may be old but I want to live

So Hans, don’t euthanize me.

To the world, I’ve still got things to give

So Hans, just let me be.

Don’t make me sleep and never awaken

Please Hans, don’t euthanize me.

I still want to smell that morning bacon

So Hans, just let me be.

You can see what I’ve got on my brace-

Let, Hans: “Don’t euthanize me”

I still want life’s gifts in my embrace

So Hans, just let me be.

When sick, I avoid a doctor that’s Dutch

Doc Hans, don’t euthanize me

Even sick, I enjoy life very much

So Hans, just let me be.

We Dutch need a leader like Rick to say:

Stop Hans, don’t euthanize us.

Let the old folks live for another day

So Hans, be magnanimous.