Mitt Romney declared in Wednesday night’s debate that he would cut off federal funding for PBS even though he “liked Big Bird.” Rick Santorum chimed in with the following lame joke: “I’ve voted to kill Big Bird in the past. So, I have a record there that I have to disclose.That doesn’t mean I don’t like Big Bird. I mean, you can kill things and still like them, maybe to eat them, I don’t know.”
They’re all dressed up in their hunting gear
They’re going to bag The Bird this year
“Now I’m a Catholic deer-hunter” , says Ryan
“If I have my way, Big Bird will be dyin’.”
“And I’m a proud Mormon,” whispers Mitt,
“Although I don’t like to talk about it.
There’s just one thing I gotta say,
That Bird is done for, he’s had his day.”
So Mitt and Paul are out searching the field,
Their guns at the ready, the’ve got their eyes peeled
For something that’s big and yellow and cute
Although they might like him, they’ve still got to shoot.
From off in the bushes there came a great clatter,
They looked at each other: “Whatever’s the matter?”
A sudden great blast of fire filled the air
And buckshot was streaming everywhere.
The bushes were parted and before them he stands
Dick Cheney, his gun still hot in his hands.
“Oh Jesus, it’s you!” and his legs turned to jello
“I thought it was Big Bird, I thought I saw yellow!”