Are you ready to RUUUMMMMMBBBBBLLLLLLL??!!
We’ve got a GREAT bill for you tonight! We’ve got the team of Mitt “the Rock” Romney and Consistent Paul, the baddest assess on the Primania Circuit – I mean these guys are baaaaaad! Across the ring there’s Rick “The Cardinal” Santorum – he seems to be alone tonight but the Cardinal told us before the match he’s got somebody named J.C. in his corner. Never heard of him and it looks like he didn’t show up, cause Rick’s out there alone. Does he really think he can take both the Rock and Consistent by himself??? Well, it ought to be quite a match, but I don’t hold out much hope for the Cardinal.
The Rock is coming off his HUGE win against Flabby Newt in Florida. That was a GAME CHANNNNGGGERRR, folks. Flabby’s still licking his wounds, although he’s here in the audience, tying to look aloof, right behind the Cardinal’s corner.
And Consistent looks really tough tonight – there’s no love lost between him and The Cardinal, believe me – Consistent keeps saying the Cardinal’s a FAKE. The Cardinal don’t take that kind of disrespect from anyone, so expect to see some fireworks when those two tangle!
The Cardinal’s got his work cut out for him, but he says he’s not worried. He CRUSHED the Rock in their three latest meetings and he has a HUGE fan base here tonight – they want red meat, and the Cardinal’s gonna give it to them.
Here we go…hold on to your seats, folks.
Well, the Cardinal was pretty well pummeled tonight. He sure coulda used his partner J.C., but he was a no-show and so he had to battle both the Rock and Consistent by himself. He looked mighty lonely out there in the ring, but ya gotta admit, he got a few good knocks in before the Rock surprised him by coming at him with a head chop from the right – the Cardinal didn’t expect that and he looked kinda dazed, and that was all she wrote for the rest of the night. The then Consistent started taunting him to his face, calling him a Fake, over and over. You don’t say that to a pro wrestler if you want to keep your head, but the Cardinal couldn’t respond. It wasn’t pretty, especially when the Cardinal admitted that some of the stuff he did was a fake, somethin’ about takin’ one for the team. What the HELL was he talkin’ about?? The fans actually started booing the Cardinal at one point.
Well, that’s it from ringside for tonight! Remember, next week’s the big elimination bout in Michigan and these guys will be at it again. We can only hope that the Cardinal recovers from his beating tonight and can make it a contest next week. As usual, we’ll be reporting from ringside. Until then…GET READY TO RUUUUMMMMBBBBLLLLLL!!!