The Primary Results Are In

Mitt Romney won the race last night

But Michigan was close

He won by only three percent,

In horse-talk, by a nose.

Mitt’s a little disappointed,

He had expected to do better.

Santorum’s glad he did so well -

He’ll take his best vest sweater

And angry message to Ohio

Where the lead he might retake.

Super Tuesday’s just next week,

Many delegates at stake.

Mitt’s rumbling death-star Super Pac

Will strafe the ground with TV ads.

Rick tells his workers to resent

Elitist college grads.

Newt is in the mix as well.

Do you remember him?

Unless he wins big-time in Georgia

His outlook’s mighty grim.

And then there’s good old Dr. Paul

Who’s teaming up with Mitt.

One wonders if his IOU’s

In Tampa he’ll submit.

Santorum on Global Warning

Rick Santorum has harsh, conspiratorial and generally way-out views of the global warming debate, as detailed here.

There’s no such thing, says Rick

Average global temperature (red) and
atmospheric carbon dioxide (blue)
for the last millennium
(from americanthinker.com)

To him it’s just a hoax

It’s the left wing’s latest trick

To fool the common folks.

He doesn’t care to know

The scientific facts:

As greenhouse gases grow

The temperature reacts,

And polar ice caps melt

While oceans start to rise,

The land on which we dwelt

Will be underwaterized.

Suicidal Santorum

Rick doesn’t have to say the things he says.

His views on contraception, sex and gays,

Education, Satan, Church, and snobs -

It’s like he’s leading torch and pitchfork mobs

To purge society of liberal thought.

The economy is where Santorum ought

To find support, not this social crap.

But Rick is caught up in a steely trap

Of his own making, stirring up his base

But scaring off the general populace.

Although Rick acts as if he thinks that Jesus

Wins elections, his fiery words don’t please us

Very much and frighten moderates,

The group of voters that preponderates.

Rick Calls President a Snob

Rick Santorum took President Obama to task for expressing the hope that everyone could attend college.  Calling the President a “snob”, he said that real reason Obama wants students to attend college is to “remake [them] in his image”, through indoctrination by liberal college professors.

Santorum says. “Oh, what a snob!”

It was quite a hatchet job.

Obama’s crime? – He’d like to see

Everyone an enrollee

In college.  Rick says that would lead

To fostering the liberal creed,

Chaining students slavishly

To left-wing ideology.

Rick seems greatly out of touch

With today’s economy and much

Of what most people really need

To get ahead. Most folks concede

That education yields the keys

to better jobs and salaries. 

  

Romney vs Obama Speeches

Images from thinkprogress.org

Mitt’s speech on Friday was a bust

The lack of bodies much discussed -

There’re lots of empty chairs in there.

Perhaps it’s just a bit unfair

To compare the crowd Obama drew

Four years ago with just the few

Of those who showed up to hear Mitt -

It doesn’t flatter Mitt a bit.

And adding to his bad news day

It wasn’t great for him to say

In trying to make amusing cracks,

Ann Romney drives two Cadillacs!

Don't Euthanize Me!

In the Netherlands, doctor-assisted euthanasia, if requested by the patient, was legalized in 2002.  Recently, Presidential candidate Rick Santorum made the following comments on this issue:

“They have voluntary euthanasia in the Netherlands, but half the people who are euthanized every year, and it’s 10 percent of all deaths, half of those people are euthanized involuntarily in hospitals, because they are older and sick…So elderly people in the Netherlands don’t go to the hospital. They go to another country. Because they’re afraid because of budget purposes they will not come out of that hospital if they go in with sickness.” Santorum also said some Dutch wear bracelets saying, “Don’t euthanize me.”

Each of these statements has been sharply disputed or shown to be false.

I may be old but I want to live

So Hans, don’t euthanize me.

To the world, I’ve still got things to give

So Hans, just let me be.

Don’t make me sleep and never awaken

Please Hans, don’t euthanize me.

I still want to smell that morning bacon

So Hans, just let me be.

You can see what I’ve got on my brace-

Let, Hans: “Don’t euthanize me”

I still want life’s gifts in my embrace

So Hans, just let me be.

When sick, I avoid a doctor that’s Dutch

Doc Hans, don’t euthanize me

Even sick, I enjoy life very much

So Hans, just let me be.

We Dutch need a leader like Rick to say:

Stop Hans, don’t euthanize us.

Let the old folks live for another day

So Hans, be magnanimous.

Rick's Vision of America

Last night Rick Santorum, speaking to a group of about 200 people, gave a unrelievedly grim picture of the current state of the country.

Rick’s vision of this country’s real bleak

He’s really a downer with his critique

But cut him some slack

He’s been under attack

His pique followed a really bad week

Newt Roils Afghan Waters

Newt Gingrich said Obama “surrendered” when he apologized to Hamid Karzai, the Afghan leader, for mistakenly burning copies of the Koran that had been given to Taliban prisoners in Afghanistan.  The ensuing violence has already led to the deaths of two American soldiers. Gingrich said Obama "is consistently apologizing to people who do not deserve the apology of the president of the United States, period."   Juan Cole suggests that Gingrich’s statements might exacerbate tensions in the region and lead to a further endangerment of US troops. 

Newt just can’t understand

Why Obama would offer his hand

And apologize

To Hamid Karzai’s

People for burning Korans.

It was just a mistake, but the Afghans

Are very upset

And would be a big threat

To all of our troops over there.

So it’d help if we would declare

How sorry we were

That this could occur.

But Newt saw a wonderful chance

To go on TV and enhance

An image of strength,

No matter what length

He must go in his ignorance.

Tag Team Match

Are you ready to RUUUMMMMMBBBBBLLLLLLL??!!

We’ve got a GREAT bill for you tonight!  We’ve got the team of Mitt “the Rock” Romney and Consistent Paul, the baddest assess on the Primania Circuit – I mean these guys are baaaaaad!  Across the ring there’s Rick “The Cardinal” Santorum – he seems to be alone tonight but the Cardinal told us before the match he’s got somebody named J.C. in his corner.  Never heard of him and it looks like he didn’t show up, cause Rick’s out there alone.  Does he really think he can take both the Rock and Consistent by himself???  Well, it ought to be quite a match, but I don’t hold out much hope for the Cardinal.

The Rock is coming off his HUGE win against Flabby Newt in Florida.  That was a GAME CHANNNNGGGERRR, folks.  Flabby’s still licking his wounds, although he’s here in the audience, tying to look aloof, right behind the Cardinal’s corner. 

And Consistent looks really tough tonight – there’s no love lost between him and The Cardinal, believe me –  Consistent keeps saying the Cardinal’s a FAKE.  The Cardinal don’t take that kind of disrespect from anyone, so expect to see some fireworks when those two tangle!

The Cardinal’s got his work cut out for him, but he says he’s not worried.  He CRUSHED the Rock in their three latest meetings and he has a HUGE fan base here tonight – they want red meat, and the Cardinal’s gonna give it to them.

 Here we go…hold on to your seats, folks.

Much later……

Well, the Cardinal was pretty well pummeled tonight.  He sure coulda used his partner J.C., but he was a no-show and so he had to battle both the Rock and Consistent by himself.  He looked mighty lonely out there in the ring, but ya gotta admit, he got a few good knocks in before the Rock surprised him by coming at him with a head chop from the right – the Cardinal didn’t expect that and he looked kinda dazed, and  that was all she wrote for the rest of the night. The then Consistent started taunting him to his face, calling him a Fake, over and over. You don’t say that to a pro wrestler if you want to keep your head, but the Cardinal couldn’t respond.   It wasn’t pretty, especially when the Cardinal admitted that some of the stuff he did was a fake, somethin’ about takin’ one for the team.  What the HELL was he talkin’ about??  The fans actually started booing the Cardinal at one point. 

Well, that’s it from ringside for tonight!  Remember, next week’s the big elimination bout in Michigan and these guys will be at it again.  We can only hope that the Cardinal recovers from his beating tonight and can make it a contest next week.  As usual, we’ll be reporting from ringside.  Until then…GET READY TO RUUUUMMMMBBBBLLLLLL!!! 

Sis, Boom, Bomb! Rah, Rah, Rah!

Many rational voices, both here and in Israel, are expressing alarm over the increasingly likely possibility that Israel might launch a preemptive attack on Iran’s nuclear facilities.   In contrast, many Republicans, including the Republican presidential candidates (with the exception of Ron Paul) have voiced enthusiasm for military action against Iran.

The hawks are out in force -

Let’s bomb Iran, they shout.

These same folks, of course,

Had said it’d be a blow-out

If we started to attack

Saddam Hussein’s Iraq.

You’d think they might have learned,

But no, that’s not the case.

They’re simply not concerned

Their faith in war might be misplaced.

Santorum's Slump

Rick was out of sorts last night

He lost his nerve, he lost his bite,

He didn’t mention jobs at all,

He seemed a bit uptight and small.
He said he voted for de corps esprit
Although his heart did not agree.

It seems like this may be the start

Of a tendency to fall apart

Like all the old not-Romney types

Who’ve not lived up to their own hypes.

The polls in Michigan now show

That Romney’s catching up, although

Santorum thinks that he’ll still win

That confidence just might be spin.

Once celebrated coast-to-coast,

Right now he’s looking more like toast.

Where's Newt?

Newt Gingrich has just disappeared

He’s no longer very much feared.

His fortunes have guttered,

His campaigning has sputtered,

His behavior is totally weird.

On the South he’s counting a lot

It’s for him the very best spot

Though he’s full of hot air

He comes from down there -

It’s the one place he’s still really hot.

The Georgians regard Newt with affection

So he thinks that in Georgia’s election

He’ll come up with a win

And he’ll give it the spin

That this is his third resurrection.

Rick's Mouth Trouble

Rick Santorum has found himself needing to explain his remarks about Obama's "phony theology", his use of a Hitler analogy to encourage activism against Obama's policies, his opposition to prenatal screening, his remarks on the roles of state and federal governments in education, and much more. 

Rick’s mouth has made many mistakes this last week

He seems to be always explaining

What he said wasn’t really what some people think

And then he starts with complaining

That the media aren’t treating him fairly at all

He says that they’re being demeaning.

But when you’re in front, Rick, and shoot from the hip

Your mouth must be sure of its meaning. 

Just Cut It Out!

GOP State Representative Lynne Blakenbeker of New Hampshire suggested that married couples could be abstinent (or use condoms) if they couldn’t afford other methods of birth control.  Responding to a comment about the effectiveness of these methods, she stated that “Abstinence works 100% of the time.”

Let them be abstinent!

I’m really confident

This method works,

And one of its perks,

If babies are your intent,

You can stop being abstinent.

News From the War Against Women

As Dahlia Lithwick, writing in Slate, observes: This week, the Virginia state Legislature passed a bill that would require women to have an ultrasound before they may have an abortion. Because the great majority of abortions occur during the first 12 weeks, that means most women will be forced to have a transvaginal procedure, in which a probe is inserted into the vagina, and then moved around until an ultrasound image is produced.

A woman who wants an abortion

Will be punished for thinking such thoughts.

It’s a new form of right-wing extortion

That carries quite personal costs.

For most of the women involved

A vaginal probe there must be

To get the sound image resolved.

The lawmakers even agree

There’s no medical need for this law.

The aim of this shameful abuse

Is simply to stop or forestall

A woman’s freedom to choose.

The right’s against all intrusions

Into freedoms that governments take,

But they come to quite different conclusions

When it’s a woman whose rights are at stake.

Candidate Limericks

1.

You gotta feel sorry for Mitt

Acting natural’s just not his bit

It’s a clever disguise,

Being one of the guys,

But for this skit he’s simply unfit.

2. 

Religion’s a big thing for Rick

He lays it on pretty thick.

But it really does seem

That he’s way too extreme,

He’s a Catholic maverick.

3.

Whatever happened to Newt?

His silence is becoming acute.

He’s under some stress,

‘Cause his campaign is a mess,

But it’s not like Newt to be mute.

4.

And then there’s good old Ron Paul

The students he holds in his thrall

He’s all for sound money

But it wouldn’t be funny -

The gold standard would impoverish us all. 

Be Careful What You Wish For...

Folks at the Daily Kos have recommended that Democrats vote in open primaries for Rick Santorum in order to keep the Republican primary circus going as long as possible.  This is a dangerous game, because if Rick Santorum actually won the nomination, there would be a real chance that he could be elected President if the nation's fortunes took a turn for the worse between now and election day (think European economic collapse, or bombing Iran).  President Santorum?? That should concentrate people's minds.  

Some Democrats want Rick to be

The GOP’s choice for nominee.

His positions in the past,

On gays, religion, women, war -

There’s right-wing craziness galore -

Will offer such a sharp contrast

To Obama’s solid, grounded view

That independents will come through

And vote the Democratic way

So that we’d win election day.

You should take care for what you wish

Because events can turn nightmarish -

Like Israel could bomb Iran

Or Europe’s euro could collapse -

For this Obama would perhaps

Be blamed and therefore, rather than

Obama’s hoped-for re-election,

The people’d vote for his rejection.

When world events cause stress and strain

Don’t you think it’d be insane

To have a man like Rick Santorum

Be our nation’s president?

I’m really much more confident

In Mitt.  And though I do deplore ‘em

Both, if I were forced to pick,

Mitt’s a lesser evil than is Rick.

Faulty Family Photo

In a new ad released in Michigan, Mitt Romney fondly remembers going to the Detroit auto show with his dad.  The ad displays a picture of him and his dad, purportedly at the auto show, but it was actually taken at the New York World’s Fair, apparently from the helipad. 

I remember well the auto show.

I went there with my dad

When I was just a lad.

The show was in Detroit, I hope you know.

And here’s a picture that shows me and Dad

We’re looking at a car

Kind of from afar

In suits and ties the both of us were clad.

I’ve just been told this photo doesn’t work.

The picture that you see

Was not Detroit…Oh gee,

It was taken in the city of New York!

The Vulgarity Prize Goes To...

In an astonishing interview with Andrea Mitchell on MSNBC this afternoon, Foster Friess, the director of the Super PAC associated with Rick Santorum, said “…back in my days we used Bayer aspirin for contraception, the gals put it between their knees and it wasn't that costly.”  Ms. Mitchell was temporarily rendered speechless at this sally.

Ms. Mitchell questioned Foster Friess

If Rick Santorum caused unease

With views of his on contraception.

And Foster said that his perception

Was that an aspirin worked with ease

If gals would squeeze it ‘tween their knees.

Blues for Mr. Romney

Woke up this mornin’, thinkin’ I was still ahead

Well, I woke up this mornin’, thinkin’ I was still ahead

But Rick snuck up on me, so I just went back to bed.

The polls, they must be lyin’, ‘cause I know it can’t be true

The polls they must be lyin’, ‘cause I know it just ain’t true

I been spendin’ lots of money, I’m doin’ all that I can do.

They think that Rick Santorum’s more conservative than me

Yeah, they think that Rick Santorum’s more conservative than me

But he’s a Washington insider, and that’s all he’ll ever be.

At first it was Rick Perry, who ran in front of me

The first was Gov’nor Perry, who ran in front of me

But he fumbled the debates, ‘cause he couldn’t count to three.

And then came Herman Cain, who rose up to go ahead

Oh yeah, that Herman Cain, somehow he got ahead

But then his wife found out that other women shared his bed.

At then it was Newt Gingrich, but he’s just a loud buffoon

Yeah, next it was Newt Gingrich, but he’s a grandiose buffoon

He should take his wife Callista, and go flyin’ to the moon!

I’ve worked the private sector, and I really did OK

Well, I’ve worked the private sector, and I really did OK

I got rid of lots of workers, ’cause they were standin’ in my way.

I don’t care about the poor folks, ‘cause they got a safety net

No, don’t care about them poor folks, they’ve got their safety net

I’ll help people in the middle, ‘cause they’ll vote for me I’ll bet.

I’m ain’t no lefty librul, no matter what they say

I’m not a mod’rate either, no matter what they say

I’m severely conservative and I’ll prob’ly stay that way.

Now I’m a Michigander, it’s really my home state

Yeah, I’m a Michigander, I really love that state

But I said “Let Detroit go bankrupt" and that might seal my fate. 

Culture Warrior

The culture wars are back

And Santorum is on track

To strengthen our society

By cleaving to propriety.

The church provides the way

To keep misdeeds at bay.

With the Bible as your guide

Temptations are denied.

And go to church on Sunday –

You’ll be comforted that one day

You will in heaven dwell

While others burn in Hell.

***

Rick holds these truths to be

Our culture’s moral key.

Us liberals he attacks

As morally too lax.

He’s our Christian ayatollah

Our new Savonarola,

He’s self-righteous as Javert

And austere beyond compare.

He’ll lead a new crusade

To get rid of Roe v. Wade

And promulgate God's law

As the rule for one and all.

Sufferin' Santorum

You may have missed this quotation from Rick Santorum last fall, talking about how government programs like food stamps and housing assistance make children feel  like “they’re entitled to so much”: “Suffering, if you're a Christian, suffering is a part of life. And it's not a bad thing, it is an essential thing in life ... There are all different ways to suffer. One way to suffer is through lack of food and shelter and there's another way to suffer which is lack of dignity and hope…” 

Suffer the little children to suffer

It’s really good for them.

Suffering’s just a part of life

It’s not something to condemn.

So kids, if you’ve no food or shelter

And you think you won’t survive,

Just buck up and count your blessings,

Keep dignity and hope alive

And don’t take handouts from the liberals

It’s sure to make you feel

Entitled to a decent life

And that’s just not for real.

Ron Paul: You Won the Vote but I Have the Delegates

The Ron Paul campaign has a plan to ensure that Ron Paul delegates are elected to the convention, regardless of the voting results in non-binding causes in Iowa, Minnesota and Maine.  The Plan was discussed in detail by Ron Paul strategist Doug Wead in a recent Rachael Maddow show.  

Ron Paul’s supporters have a plan

To get more delegates than

His vote percentile would allow.

Don’t ask me to explain just how

This can be done but it’s clever

And it’s legal, using rules to lever-

Age votes for Ron Paul’s guys

as delegates. What a big surprise

awaits poor Rick and Mitt, who thought

they won but might end up with naught.

Church Teachings and the GOP

Juan Cole has published a list of 10 Catholic teachings that have been rejected by Rick Santorum, who is a strong supporter of the Church’s position on birth control.  The list includes Church opposition to the death penalty, the continued Israeli occupation of Palestinian territories, the treatment of illegal immigrants as criminals, and the Bush concept of preventive war.  The Catholic Bishops favor the provision of health care for all Americans, an increase in the minimum wage, the right of workers to organize and join unions, and the provision of welfare for needy families. 

The Catholic Bishops and the GOP

Have come together in unity

To fight insured free birth control.

But other issues, on the whole,

The Bishops call for aren’t upheld.

Republicans must feel compelled

To say that issues they’ve forsaken

Are those where Bishops are mistaken.

Mitt Wins CPAC Straw Poll!

Mitt Romney won the CPAC straw poll this afternoon with 38% of the vote, compared to 31% for Rick Santorum. 

Mitt needed a win badly

He’ll take 38% gladly

As long as it’s better than Rick,

Or anyone else they might pick. 

Obama and Birth Control

An intense controversy surrounds the Obama adminstration's ruling that insurance plans should cover the costs of birth control measures.  Exceptions have been granted to churches that oppose birth control but not to church-affiliated institutions like hospitals and universities that serve the general public. Twenty-six states have similar laws on the books already; this includes several states that grant no exceptions to religious organizations whatsoever.

The Church is exceedingly pissed

They say that they've really been dissed

The problem it seems

Are Obama’s new schemes

That on free contraceptives insist.

The Church holds a strong affirmation

That sex is for procreation

If you use the pill

Of your own free will

You’re risking eternal damnation.

Most Catholics don’t pay attention

To the Church’s sexual contention

They’re very receptive

To some contraceptive

Devices for preggers prevention.

Some states have already passed laws

That should give the Church leaders some pause:

For free contraception

There’s to be no exception

No matter what sin that might cause.

Republicans are on the attack

The airwaves are filled with their flak

"If we rant and rave,

Obama will cave

He'll be forced to take his rule back."

Obama,  please stick to your goal

Let all workers have paid birth control

Their health is at stake

So give them a break

‘Though in polls you might pay a toll.

Contraception’s by far the best way

To diminish abortions they say

You’d think all would see

That the best thing would be

To unwanted conceptions allay.

Homs

There’s no safety in numbers

But still they fill the streets.

Banners flutter in the wind.

Allahu Akbar, many call,

And then the shells begin to fall.

Bones broken, missing

Eyes and balls, skin burned

By cigarettes, electric prods,

Rent by bullet holes,

The bodies of Thamer and Hamza,

Teenage friends,

Have been returned to their parents.

Rockets and mortars find the streets

Of Baba Amr, Khaldiyeh and Bayada,

Neighborhoods the rebels hold.

A family huddles in the cold,

No sleep again tonight.

The children ask if they will they die;

Their parents give a vague reply.

Death falls at random from the sky.

They bury their dead at night,

A little girl is wrapped in white

Discolored by a written claim:

Nuhal al Manal, her name.

They place her in the earth with others,

No  time for prayer – they cover her

And leave before snipers discover them.

Bashar al Assad, what is the question

For which this is the answer?

The Results Are In

Last night’s results were big for Rick

He really pulled off quite a trick

The big trifecta he has won

Mitt Romney he’s again outdone -

In Missouri, he won 2-to-1.

Newt Gingrich’s looking pretty poor

He’s lost a lot of his allure

As best alternative to Mitt -

Rick’s now looking pretty fit.

Ron Paul for once beat Romney too -

In Minnesota he was number two.

Is Mitt downhearted?  No siree,

He’s got big bucks and so we’ll see

If he can buy his way to victory.

Newt's Tirade

Newt Gingrich appeared on the Hannity show the other night where he unleashed an intemperate tirade against Obama, accusing the administration of pro-Islamist appeasement, among other things.

Newt once again was on Fox

It’s one of his regular spots

He says things so sleazy

They just make me queasy

But the wing-nuts on Fox like him lots.

Bombing Iran

Washington Post columnist David Ignatius reported that Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu and Defense Minister Ehud Barak may be preparing for an attack on Iran’s nuclear facilities, perhaps as early as this spring. 

Netanyahu and Barak

Want to bomb Iran this year

Because they’ll make a nuke they fear

That soon no one can block.

If they unleash upon Iran

A devastating bomb attack

Iran will surely answer back

And Israeli towns will fire on.

Hamas and Hizbullah will send

Their many fighters out to kill

Israelis - pretty soon we’ll

Have a war no one can end.

But Netanyahu and Barak

Declare Iran is simply bluffing

And they’ll succeed in snuffing

Out the threat with their attack.

***

And meanwhile in our own country

There’s lots of folks who think it’s great

Iran will shortly meet its fate –

They’re largely in the GOP.

They’re mostly men who’ve never fought

before but still they think it's right

To send our sons abroad to fight

In wars that often come to naught.

They're pressuring the President

To buttress Israel's attack

With our own forces at their back

And make our strikes coincident.

Let's pray Obama will insist

That Netanyahu and Barak

Are on their own with this attack

And will persuade them to desist.

The Love Song of W. Mitt Romney

Any similarity between this work and The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock, by T.S. Eliot, is strictly intentional. 

      Let us go then, you and I,
While Newt Gingrich is lying down to cry
Like a patient etherized upon a table.
Let us go to one-night town hall meetings
On half-deserted streets
The muttering retreats
Of endless nights of our campaign,
Nights where once again
We follow our tedious argument
Of insidious intent
To ask the audience an overwhelming question.
Oh, do not ask “What is it?”
Let’s just go and make another visit.

***
    There will be time, there will be time
To prepare a face to meet the faces that I meet;
There will be time to fix my hair,
[They will say:  “How his hair’s beyond compare.”]
And time for all the works and days of hands
That lift and throw a question on my plate;                        
And time yet for a hundred indecisions
And for a hundred visions and revisions
Before the interview that’s on TV.
There is time for a minute that slips and stops
For decisions and revisions which a minute will reverse.
For I have measured out my life with flips and flops.

    And I have known the eyes already, known them all –
The eyes that fix you in a formulated phrase,
And when I am formulated, sprawling on a pin,
When I am pinned against the wall,
Then how should I begin
To have the strength to force the moment to its crisis
To have bitten off the matter with a smile
To have squeezed the universe into a ball
To say “I am Mitt, come back from dread
And I will tell you all, I shall tell you all!”

***
     And would it have been worth it after all,
Would it have been worthwhile
After eyebrows raised and clearings of the throat
After silent pauses that say your cause is lost,
And this, and so much more?
But it’s impossible to say just what I mean!
Would it have been worthwhile if they,
Rising from the table and putting on their coats
And turning toward the door, should say
    “That is not it at all,
     You are not conservative at all.”

***
No! I am not Newt Gingrich, nor was meant to be.
I was born by temperament
Deferential, glad to be of use,
Politic, cautious and meticulous;
Full of high sentence, but a bit obtuse.

But I wear expensive trousers,
And I have seen the moment of my greatness glow
For I have worked within the private sector
And done quite well there as you know.
I shall wear Bermuda shorts and walk upon the beach,
The beach below my house in beautiful La Jolla.
I have heard the mermaids singing, each to each.
I do believe they also sing to me.

As I linger by the chambers of the sea
I hear the people calling me
The people of this wondrous land
I wait for them to take my hand. 

The Trump Endorsement

The Donald said last month that he might run

As independent to be president.

But no, not really - that was just for fun.

Instead he’d like to make it evident

Who he’d prefer to be the nominee.

Newt Gingrich thought that he’d be recommended

But Donald said that it was not to be.

I’ll go for Mitt, he said, his hair is splendid!

The Jobs Report

The newest jobs report came out today
240,000 jobs they say
We're glad to see such great recovery,
All except, perhaps, the GOP

Mitt Romney and the Poor

Mitt Romney said in a CNN interview that he was "not concerned about the very poor" because "we have a safety net to help [them]".  His campaign, he said, was "focused on middle-income Americans".  

I’m not concerned about the very poor.

‘Cause we have programs that take care of them,

Although these are the programs we deplore

And often speak up loudly to condemn.

But if the safety net is rent with holes,

Then I will fix them – but I must focus more

Upon the middle class, who’d go to polls

And vote for me, unlike the very poor.

Mid-income folks are in a lot of pain

But I’ll restore things like they were before

Obama and his socialistic reign –

I have no time to worry ‘bout the poor.

Republicans support free enterprise

And foster a salubrious rapport

With businessmen – our natural allies;

We don’t concern ourselves about the poor.

There’s lots of folks that said I made a gaffe,

But I must say it loud and clear once more

I’m working on the middle class’ behalf

I’ll let Obama care about the poor. 

Manchurian Muppets

Eric Bolling, a moderator at Fox Business News, took the Muppets to task in December for depicting a Texas oilman as a greedy villain in their latest movie.  "Is liberal Hollywood using class warfare to brainwash our kids?" he asked.  At a recent press conference in London, the Muppets struck back. 

Miss Piggy, Kermit and the rest

May look real cute but they’re possessed

By plans our kids to hypnotize

And fill their minds with left-wing lies.

The villain in their newest flick -

A rich oil man that they depict

As someone evil, someone bent,

Someone from hellish regions sent.

Why do they always show the rich

As wicked?  Why not make kids glad

To see a man succeed?  It’s mad

To castigate success that way –

Our kids are being led astray.

So go away, you hateful muppets,

Don’t try to make our kids your puppets.

Take Marx and Engles with you too

Your propaganda mission's through.

We despise you left-wing kinds

Who try to poison children’s minds.

The Florida Results

Last night the winner was Mitt

He beat out of Newt the shit

But Newt said today

“I’m not going away

I’ll be damned if I’m going to quit!”

Newt says “We’ve been lied to by Mitt

All his claims are a big crock of shit.

He’s on top for today

But I’ll find a way

I’m committed to making Mitt quit”.

The pathway ahead’s clear for Mitt

He’s got the momentum to finish it.

‘Gainst Newt every day

Mitt will hammer away

He’ll never ease up, he won’t quit.

Winston Gingrich

Most commentators agree that Newt Gingrich will continue his campaign, regardless of the outcome in Florida.  Some have drawn parallels to Churchill's period "in the wilderness" during the '30s.  

He won’t be slowed down by defeat

He’ll soldier on alone

He’ll raise his voice and wave his hands

And Romney’s lies bemoan.

He’ll rage against Mitt’s Super Pacs

Like Lear upon the heath

But he must raise more money soon

Or he will come to grief.

Th’establishment’s come out for Mitt

They look at Newt with fear

They’re worried that as nominee

He’d screw them up this year.

But Newt’s a good historian -

A figure crossed his mind

It’s Churchill in the wilderness -

He was equally maligned.

Winston was erratic too

They thought he was unstable

But when the crisis fully dawned

He proved profoundly able.

So Newt has faith in history

His moment he’ll await:

He’ll save the nation from collapse

Like Churchill – it’s his fate.