George Frownley took a last drag on his Camel and tossed
the butt into the gutter. Axe would be
waiting for him in the garage. An acid burble rose from his gut – he was always
nervous when he had to meet Axe. He
needed a drink, but it was only 10:30 in the morning and Axe would definitely not
approve. He grimaced and crossed
Michigan Avenue to the parking garage.
He spotted Axe’s car, a beat-up purple Prius, right where he said it
would be, in space 203 on the Orange level.
He took out the keys Axe had sent him and drove down to the Blue level
and parked close to the stairwell. A guy
with a cane, dark glasses and a straw Trilby hat limped over to the car. George didn’t recognize him at first but the
mustache was a giveaway – it was Axe, in a disguise George hadn’t seen before.
“Go down to the Red level,” barked Axe, “and park in
space 557”.
“Good work with Sandra”, he said after they had parked.
“Yeah, she was perfect for the part.” George was impressed that she seemed so
wholesome, although Axe had warned him that she was just a slut, a common
prostitute. “We had to go over her
testimony several times, but after slipping a couple C-notes into her bra, she
caught on. The whole set-up was beautiful, Axe.
How did you know they wouldn’t let her testify? And then the Pelosi
thing – it was great.”
“Planning, George…nothing left to chance.”
“I listened to Rush that afternoon. I couldn’t believe that he walked right into
the trap. He really outdid himself this
time, calling her a slut, telling her to make tapes of herself having sex. I was afraid it was just way too much and Romney
and the rest would have to call him out for it.”
“Naah, I know these guys, George. If they put all their balls together, they couldn’t
make enough testosterone for a single hard-on.
They’re so scared of Rush that if he said ‘shit’ they’d fill up their
pants in 30 seconds. Romney with his ‘not
language I would have used’ – Jeez, what a wuss! So now we got ‘em – you know, if they can’t
stand up to Rush Limbaugh, how’re they gonna do against Ahmadinejad. We’re gonna tag them with that for the rest
of the campaign.”
“Well, it was a great operation, Axe. Congratulations.”
“You played your part well, George. Sandra was completely believable. “ Axe took out an envelope and handed it to me. “This
is for her. She’s working at a porn shop
over on Hubbard.”
“I’m still puzzled about Limbaugh, though. He was so over the top. It doesn’t make much sense. And yet the whole operation hinged on him doin’
what he did. How could you be sure he’d
run off the cliff like that?”
“Like I said, George – leave nothing to chance.”
“Wait…I don’t understand.
You mean…?”
“Yep, Rush is our guy.
We’ve been grooming him for years.
He’ll do anything for Viagra. Wait 'til you see what he’s gonna say about
Hillary - but that won’t be ‘til the fall.”
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