Monica Crowley, Ph.D., speaking on the
O’Reilly Factor the other night, presented her theory that the Occupy Wall
Street movement was “orchestrated” to “provide President Obama with a major
campaign theme”, namely income inequality. Several lines in Scene I were lifted
from Coriolanus.
Scene I. New York. A park.
Enter a company of mutinous citizens, with
tents and drums.
First Citizen.
We, the 99 percent, are accounted
Poor citizens for here we gather to protest
The leaness that afflicts us.
The one percent
Are by themselves accounted good and say
We slander the helms o' the state, who care for us
Like fathers.
Second Citizen.
Care
for us! They ne'er cared for us
Yet: suffer us to famish, and their store-houses
Crammed with grain; repeal daily any wholesome
act
Established against the rich; and provide more
Piercing statutes daily, to chain up and
restrain
The poor. If the wars eat us not up, they will;
and
There's all the love they bear us.
Exeunt
stage left.
Scene II. The Oval
Office
Enter
President Obama with Lady Pelosi
Obama.
Our plan doth proceed apace. Already have they
Divided our citizenry into
the one percent
Who hath much and the
ninety-nine who hath much less,
And thus resentment riseth and
attach itself,
As I foretold, to Lord
Romney, the knave
Who would my place in this
round office take.
Pelosi.
But how didst thou
orchestrate this scene?
It doth seem to me very like
the herding of cats.
Obama.
Aye, it were no easy task,
but the details
Of this I must retain for my
own counsel
For I fear much that word of
our guiding hand
In this will leak to Lady
Crowley, PhD,
Who hath, as thou knowest,
oft revealed
My darkest and most secret
machinations.
Pelosi
Yes, she hath disclosed, as
I recall, the message
Thou sendest to David of
Axelrod through the play
that Robert Scheiffer did
perform before the nation.
That was wondrous shrewd and
cunning, and yet..
Obama
And yet she did expose my
part in it
To all who had ears to heed
her rantings.
And she did also bring to
light my hand
In making a loathsome and
repugnant thing
Of a cheeseburger that she
was wont to eat.
I believe a mole must lurk
within my staff
That doth inform the wench
of my very thoughts.
Pelosi
Dost thou think that she
hath gotten wind
Of thy secret plan to turn
this hapless land,
Rife with venturing
capitalists like Lord Romney
Who doth themselves too much enrich
While casting workers into
penury,
To make of it a socialistic
state?
Obama
Thou must not speak of such
things, even here
Within my office, for there
are those who might
Thee overhear and sound
alarums that
Would all my plans undo. We must content
Ourselves with signs most subtle
– winks, nods
And crossรจd fingers - and
with flow’ry words
Pay full service of the lip
to free enterprise,
While our true thoughts we hold
in deep disguise.
