Alone with the Morning Paper

Each morning I read the paper

with my cup of coffee next to me,

where through the window I can see

whether the weather is OK,

or people on their way to work,

or songbirds sometimes on a branch

so close that I can see their little throats
quiver...

                 Well anyway, I peek first
at the headlines in case some news
sneaked in last night after I turned off

CNN to end the day, and sent thoughts

of politics to whatever portions of the brain

imprison thoughts while sleeping. 

But what exactly is the difference

between consciousness and dreams?

Now there's a question that’s not been answered
despite much study....

                                         But as I say,

on most days, after that cursory crack

at the front page, I move on back

through many pages to the Opinion Buffet.

The Opinion/Editorial/Op-Ed page

where left and right contend for me,

the left for my continued approbation,

to nod agreeably or chuckle at some sally

against the right, while right wing forces

rally, intending to rattle my confidence
with inconvenient facts and insidious arguments.

As with walruses eructating on the rocks

with their inflated pharyngeal muscles,
the frothy calls of urgent pundits ride the page,
calling urgently to me...
                                              Now here’s a fact 

that's little known, the walrus penis bone

can be nearly two feet long…the logistics of

carrying that around are boggling.

OK, back to what I was saying

about contending forces braying

in the nation’s papers ..well, yes

like donkeys.  Did you know that a donkey,
with its great ears, can hear another donkey bray

from as far as seven miles away?

Look it up in “Caring for your Donkey”

at Lazy-Lranch.com. Donkeys don't like
dogs or coyotes very much and so they're
very popular for guarding cows
and sheep and such.  I believe that we
can all agree that pundits can be jackasses....

                                       

On the Opinion page the high-flying

opinionators screech about the nation's state
like a cartload of chimpanzees. I've seen
wild chimps on TV swinging through the trees -
technically it's called brachiation,
a process that enables chimp translation
through the arboreal canopy with little cost in energy....

But wait, do you see that cardinal

hanging out there in the tree?

I think he sings for me.
I'll just put away the paper for today,
and listen to that cardinal's song - congenial, guileless,
without a point of view.