O Cardinals!

to be sung to O Tannenbaum/O Christmas Tree
O Cardinals, O Cardinals
You certainly surprised us.
We never really thought you'd win
Your chances seemed so very thin.
O Cardinals, O Cardinals
You certainly surprised us.


O Cardinals, O Cardinals
You gave us so much pleasure.
Through wins and losses, errors too
Your fans stayed loyal, through and through.
O Cardinals, O Cardinals
You gave us so much pleasure.

O Cardinals, O Cardinals
Your vict-o-ry delights us.
You overcame all odds to win,
You really set our towels a-spin.
O Cardinals, O Cardimals
Your vict-o-ry delights us.

Global Warming

Two recent articles in National Review Online suggest that the issue of global warming is losing influence.

The pundits at National Review

Think global warming’s untrue.

They say it’s a hoax

To convince us poor folks 

To cap and trade CO₂.

The New Person

A constitutional amendment that declares that a fertilized egg is a "person" will be on the ballot in Mississippi November 8.  The amendment would ban all abortions, for any reason, as well as certain contraceptives that block implantation of the fertilized egg in the uterus.  

They're voting down south to confirm
That a person's an egg that has taken on sperm.
If that's what the voters decide,
You might be accused of infanticide
If contraceptively,
You choose to use an I.U.D.

Obama Considers David Brooks' Advice

David Brooks, in his NYT op-ed column, suggests that " Obama, a natural unifier and conciliator, seems on the verge of running as a divisive populist..." and that this would be disastrous for his presidential campaign.  

Maybe David Brooks is right –

I’d  rather deal than fight,

But it’s not all black and white

Because I’ve got the same old plight:

Which one of them can make a deal?

John Boehner’s not forthright,

Mitch McConnell’s too uptight,

Eric Cantor’s not polite,

And Jim DeMint is just a fright.

More than once I’ve tried to heal

Our wounds and bring about a real

Grand Bargain to end our debt ordeal.

But  Boehner’s locked up tight

By party screamers who’ll  indict

Him as a traitor if a deal might

include a tax increase, however slight.  

So David, your thoughts have great appeal

And I hate to seem puerile

But I’ve had it with the right

And now it’s time to fight!

Newt Reflects on the Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals

G.O.P. Candidate Newt Gingrich has called for the abolition of the Court of Appeals for the Ninth Circuit, which hears cases from nine western states, calling it "consistently radical".

Methinks this court doth far too leftish act.

It press upon the nation rulings foul

And pustulant, which forward secret plans

To steal the wealth from those who worketh hard

And handeth it to those who worketh not.

O, Robin Hood! O Marx and Engels! Thy shades

Doth sit at bench on this unruly court!

But I, if chosen to be President,

Will send this court to just oblivion.

My plan is but a simple one yet artful –

Withhold the funds that nourish this rogue court

And by doing so abolish it forever.

We needeth it not – the western cases may

Be heard by courts that rule by strict construction,

A form of law that ever pleaseth me.

Thus will I ensure the courts retain

Obeisance to the rule of law again.

The kinds of judges my support would'st be with

Are those who issue rulings I agree with.

We're Leaving...

President Obama announced that all American troops would be leaving Iraq by the end of the year.  

The war's finally done in Iraq.
The winner will come as a shoq.
The prize goes to Iran
Who lost not a man
But now threatens the Mid-East en bloq.

Qaddafi – Rest in Torment

No doubt you’ve read that Qaddafi is dead -

He’ll kill and torture no more.

For forty-two years the country he’d led

Was bathed in anguish and gore.

The people rose up and though thousands were killed,

They defeated the beast in the end.

And now they’ve got a new nation to build

And the wounds of a war to mend.

The Grate Debate

Rick and Mitt were having a fit

The air was filled with insults and spit

"On immigrants, Mitt, you'll have to admit

Your gardeners weren't legal, you hypocrite!"

"Rick, it'd help if you cooled down a bit: 

It's my turn to speak -  so be quiet you twit."

The catcalls, the bluster, the absence of wit:
Presidential you're not, Rick and Mitt. 

Bishop Finn

On October 14, the New York Times reported that Bishop Robert Finn of Kansas City was indicted for failing to report an instance of child abuse by one of the priests in his diocese.  It is the first time an American Catholic church leader was held criminally liable for the behavior of a priest under his supervision.  

Forgive me, dear Bishop Finn.

I’ve committed a horrible sin.

I took some snap shots

Of a little girl’s crotch.

What terrible trouble I’m in!

Good gracious my dear Father Ratigan

We’ll have to inform the Vatican.

But the cops we’ll forgo

They just needn’t know,

If you’ll  promise not to do that again.

Bishop Finn, you failed to report

A crime of the most heinous sort

There’s lots of excitement

About your indictment.

It’s the first of its kind in this court.

9-9-9

The Hermanator’s economic plan is simple mathematically.

Nine percent of everything we’ll pay in taxes automatically.

The rich and poor’ll pay less and more, respectively and systematically.

Our Party

“Pass this bill!” Obama pleads,

“It’s just the thing our country needs.”

“No way!” replies the G.O.P.

“Our party’s needs come first, you see.

Though once we loved the bill’s provisions,

The tax incentives and rescissions

They’re just no good, politically;

Our party’s needs come first, you see.

We’ll break it into bits and pieces

And drop those ghastly tax increases

For millionaires and corporations:

Our party’s needs before the nation’s.”