Newt's Advice

Presidential candidate Newt Gingrich earned between $1.6 and $1.8 million during his tenure as a consultant for the giant mortgage company Freddie Mac, according to a report from Bloomberg News.  

Candidate Newt gave some advice

To the bank called Freddie Mac

He told them he said, you shouldn’t give loans

To folks who can’t pay them back.

Now this advice was worth more than a million

‘cause Newt’s not just any old hack.

O Freddie Mac, O Freddie Mac

Would you like some advice from me?

I could have told you just what he said

But I’d charge a much lower fee.

They wanted me as historian

Newt did his best to explain.

I offer novel strategic advice

To companies that have much to gain

From the nuanced and brilliant analyses

That come from my giant brain.

O Freddie Mac, O Freddie Mac

Would you like some advice from me?

My brain’s not so big, but still it works well

And I’d charge a much lower fee.

Now Newt’s got some credit at Tiffany’s

That amounts to a half mil or so.

To many that’s grossly excessive

When our economy’s growth is so slow.

But advice from Newt Gingrich doesn’t come cheap

So his bank account’s sure to grow.

O Freddie Mac, O Freddie Mac

Would you like some advice from me?

I’d counsel you just like he did

But I’d charge a much lower fee.

Newt's fees might seem a little peculiar

'cause his party hates Freddie Mac.

And now so does Newt, it appears,

since his retainer has finally gone slack.

But as for the money he took from them

he's not gonna give it back.  

O Freddie Mac, O Freddie Mac

Would you like some advice from me?

I’m more loyal than Newt - I've got your back,

And I charge a much lower fee.