Cain Raps Instructions to His Staff

Herman Cain's campaign is no longer answering questions about possible sexual improprieties allegedly occurring during his tenure as head of the National Restaurant Association.

Cain:

Y'all,  when they wanna know

somethin’ ‘bout them accusations,

those temptations, complications from 15

years ago - just say no, just lie low

don’t show ‘em no info' that’ll slow me up.

Those dough-faced Joes wanna mow me down,

 slow me down, blow me out of the water,

throw me out of the race, stow me somewhere

where I won’t be in their face,

it’s such a damn disgrace

they wanna take my place -

replace me ,displace me, erase me -

‘cause they can’t keep up the pace.

But I got more than one ace up my sleeve

just in case the goin’ gets rough

they’ll know soon enough who’s tough  –

I got lots of stuff on them, ya know –

so when they wanna know

just say no, just lie low

don’t show ‘em no info' that’ll slow me up.

Staff:

Stay on message, stay on message

Say 9-9-9 and we’ll be fine

Stay on message, stay on message

Say 9-9-9 and we’ll be fine…

Cain:

So I’m stayin’ on message

but I got a mess o’ rage in me

 ‘cause they’re  pressin’ me, messin’

with me, and you can guess what the press

is comin’ to, all that baggage

from the ‘90s was an age ago

some crazy girls tryin’ to wage

war on me with those out-sized lies,

 despising me, devising ways

 to keep me from the prize.

It’s all politicized

by those guys, Perry’s allies

in disguise, sneakin' around
and leakin' freakin' lies 

 from those girls who'd be speakin' out in public
(if I'd let 'em) 'bout them them accusations,
those temptations, complications from many years ago.

So just say no, just lie low

Don’t show ‘em no info' that’ll slow me up.

Staff:

Stay on message, stay on message

Say 9-9-9 and we’ll be fine

Stay on message, stay on message

Say 9-9-9 and we’ll be fine…

Cain:

If you’re in doubt,

you'll be fine if you just say 9-9-9

Over and out.