Newt's Hour

Now is Newt’s time in the sun.

Though he’s not quite yet number one

It’s clear that his time has come.

He’s so darn good in debates,

He’s terrific with numbers and dates,

He’s one of the GOP’s greats.

The media he holds in disdain.

Their questions are simply inane.

They just can’t keep up with his brain

So he answers their queries with sneers

As if they were children, not peers,

While the right wing responds with their cheers.

He's a man of Olympian mien,
an intellectual machine
with the heart of a wolverine.

House Speaker he was in the past

But his reign was so filled with bombast

that his colleagues were often aghast.

His predisposition to whine

has often crossed over the line

and led to his stature's decline.

There's a problem for candidate Newt

and his family values repute -

turns out he's a horny old coot:

While Clinton he was attacking
his own sense of shame was lacking
'cause then he too was up-shacking

with a blonde he'd soon wed for life
as soon as he ditched his old wife -
his life with scandal's been rife.

But it's cheers on the right for old Newt
he's pudgy and cute and astute
and of course he's not Romney to boot.