Oomph-less Mitt

You know the Romney campaign must be in trouble when both Rupert Murdoch and Fox News start whining about Mitt Romney's lack of pizzazz as a campaigner.  Fox news commentator Laura Ingraham suggested that people are "... looking for a little – I don’t know, oomph? Spice?" .  But the Republican strategist Chris Begala replied, "He is who he is and this is not an aggressive guy."

 

Mitt Romney hasn't any oomph.

When he walks into any roomph

Immediately it fills with gloomph

It's like the roomph becomes a tombph.

 

Now Mitt is not a guy for whomph

It's natural to fuss and fumeph

But inner fire he must exhumeph

or certain doomph will 'fore him loomph.

Insanity in the House

Marsha Blackburn(R-TN) said in a panel discussion on CNN that she'd be willing to vote for the repeal of Obamacare every single day.

 

RICHARD SOCARIDES (CO-PANELIST): You’ve voted [to repeal] 30 times already this year!

BLACKBURN: And we’re going to do it again. We’re going to do it again. We’re going to do it again.

SOCARIDES: How many times?

BLACKBURN: I wish we’d go do it every single day. It is a terrible piece of legislation.

 

Remember the phrase defining insanity as doing something over and over and expecting a different result?

 

Obamacare we will repeal

It doesn't matter whether we'll

Be doing it repeatedly,

Until it's done completedly

We'll go on with the same refrain

'Though some will think that we're insane.

Who's Afraid of the NRA?

In gun-toting states, the NRA frightens politicians to death.  They fear that lack of an NRA endorsement, or, worse, NRA support for their opponents, spells certain defeat at the polls.  Yet, as argued in this post, and an earlier one, there's little or no evidence that the NRA has influenced the outcome of any election.   The NRA has become powerful simply by convincing politicians that it is the Big Bad Wolf of electoral politics, whereas in fact it's more like a yapping chihuahua. 

 

So who's afraid of the NRA?

It's everyone it seems

If you don't handle guns their  way

They'll scuttle all your dreams

 

Now people say they're awfully strong

They don't forgive a slight

But what if everyone is wrong,

Their bark's worse than their bite?

 

And what if someone said "Enough,

I'm going to do what's right"

A bully always says he's tough

Until he has to fight.

 

So let's call out the NRA

And see just what they've got

I think we'll find that in the fray,

They won't amount to squat.

Tax the Atheists

Right-wingers have reacted to the Supreme Court decision on the Affordable Care Act with a reductio ad absurdum approach. Allen West, who can always be counted on for goofiness, has proposed forcing everyone to buy a Glock 9 mm handgun or pay a tax.  And Bryan Fischer, an evangelical talk radio host, has taken up a listener's suggestion for a federal mandate to attend church coupled with a tax on those who don't.  Fischer explains, "Because after all, Obamacare is all about improving the health of the American people. We know that going to church is good for you, it's good for your health. So we are going to mandate that you go to church for your own health and we are going to tax the atheists who don't go to church."  This is the broccoli argument taken to ridiculous extremes, although there's probably more evidence that eating broccoli is good for the nation's health than there is for church attendance. [Poetic form:  Rispetto]

 

The right-wing nutters have declared.

Attending church is good for you.

If you refuse, then be prepared,

A hefty tax you will accrue

 

A gun is good for you as well

So buy one now and you'll be swell,

But if on guns you take a pass

Then once again they'll tax your ass.

24 Hours of Herman Cain!

Cain-TV, a new network  run by Herman Cain, was scheduled to open on July 4.  It features commentary and funny stuff and, of course, Herman Cain himself. 

 

We've got a new network in town

It's run by a man of renown:

It's our friend Herman Cain,

He might be  insane

or  maybe he's simply a clown.

Klanbake

A group of Alabama pastors are holding a 3-day conference to which only "white Christians" are invited.  The event will feature a cross-burning, which a conference spokesman insists on calling a "cross lighting";  the "lighting" will be done with....er, fire.  The spokesman declared, "We often use fire. Our ancient fathers said fire was a cleansing element. Even the Bible says the earth will be purified with fire. What purer element can we use as a symbol of our worship?” He added, “It has nothing whatsoever to do with any kind of racism or hate or anything like that, and anybody who would brand it as that would be a racist and a hater themselves, you know...We’re seldom ever have been invited to black Muslim events and we never have been invited to NAACP events and we never have been invited to join Jewish synagogues events and stuff,”

 

 

The pastors avoid malcontents

Whenever they hold their events

It's only for whites

On these special nights

They say they've no racist intents.

 

"It has nothing to do with hate"

A spokesperson said of the date

"We are very devout

So I can't figure out

Why some folks have got so irate.

 

The Jews and Black Muslims contend

That their rights are what they defend.

While that may be true

When they have their to-do

They never ask us to attend."

 

They're lighting their crosses with fire

Their people they want to inspire.

It will be quite a show

But I'd just like to know -

Will sheets be the preferred attire?

Allen West: Get Out of the USA, Democrats

In this Crooks and Liars post from January 30, Allen West has proposed that Democrats like President Obama, Harry Reid, Nancy Pelosi and Debbie-Wasserman-Schultz should...but I'll let the man speak for himself.

 

Take your message of equality of achievement, take your message of economic dependency, and take your message of enslaving the entrepreneurial will and spirit of the American people somewhere else. You can take it to Europe, you can take it to the bottom of the sea, you can take it to the North Pole, but get the hell out of the United States of America.

Nice touch, Allen. On the bright side, there are hints that West may fall victim to redistricting, carried out by Republicans who, some of them at least, are becoming increasingly embarrassed by this asshole.

 

Allen West will save the nation

Democrats and their taxation

Must get out of here tomorrow

Sparing us from further sorrow

Go to Europe or the bottom.

Of the ocean where your rotten

Way of thinking will be useless -

Get the hell out of the US.